Belief
by Lunaschild2016
Summary: Devi is Dauntless. Through blood sweat and tears she made a place for herself three years ago when she left her life in Amity behind. Not once in that three years has Eric Coulter even deigned to look her way. Not until that night. Now she has nothing but his attention. Eric/OC AU [Smut, Language, Romance]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: [Edited and posted 1/30/19] Groan...moan...not another Eric fic! Well, I have said before and will say again that Eric is a greedy, narcissistic bastard and when he demands I sacrifice more time and brain cells for another fic dedicated to his glory...who am I to disobey? This will be short, sorta sweet and hopefully steamy, so enjoy ya'll!**

* * *

 **Title and story inspired by** **_Belief_ ** **by Gavin DeGraw**

 **Character Inspiration:**

 **Devi Nunez- Diane Guerrero**

 **Eric Coulter- Jai Courtney**

 **Elijah - Alexander Skarsgård**

* * *

 _Tonight you arrested my mind_

 _When you came to my defense_

 _With a knife_

 _In the shape of your mouth_

 _In the form of your body_

 _With the wrath of a god_

 _Oh, you stood by me_

 _Belief_

 _Builds from scratch_

 _Doesn't have to relax_

 _It doesn't need space_

 _Long live the queen_

 _And I'll be the king_

 _In the collar of grace_

 _Tonight, you arrested my mind_

 _When you came to my defense_

 _With a knife_

 _In the shape of your mouth_

 _In the form of your body_

 _With the wrath of a god_

 _Oh, you stood by me_

 _Belief_

 _[Belief, Gavin DeGraw]_

* * *

 **Part 1**

A dare is a fucking dare, and Dauntless don't give up. I'm dauntless now and have been for the last three years.

I'm doing okay here. I've made a place for myself and some friends. Although it was hard leaving everyone I knew behind in Amity, I did it. Even when I knew that my grandparents and brother would wash their hands of me when I left. It wasn't anything personal but they're just staunch advocates for peace.

Okay, so maybe for them it was a little personal. They felt like I rejected them, who they are, and everything they stand for. It hurt them badly.

I've always held a secret hope they would come to see that I left because my staying would be like a slap in the face to them every day. Small wounds that would build up over time until finally I would knick a vein and cause whatever love we had to just bleed out for good.

See, I can't even make an analogy about how much I would end up hurting my family without it turning into something out of a war story or horror film.

The thing is I don't really have a big story or wrong from my life in Amity. Not really. It was kind of perfect and I followed along every day with a smile on my face. Granted, my family drowned ourselves in peace serum laced foods and drinks so that helped keep the smile in place. I arrived in Dauntless with the carb-laden proof on my hips and thighs and that took some serious work to fix my first few months here.

I still can't quite kick the carb habit, so there's more cushion than there should be probably.

Back in Amity I sang happily, played instruments, braided hair, and took part in the free love once I hit puberty and was flooded with all those lovely hormones.

But my _favorite_ part of life back there was working with the animals. Horses mainly. When we had the rare chance to tame one, gentle we call it though others might have called it breaking them in, I was one of the first they called. I've always had a way about me. I can be gentle when called for but my stubbornness and determination always saw me winning in the end.

Looking back I know that should have been my first clue.

That life I led before, it all changed the day I took the aptitude test. I went in expecting nothing but a life in Amity. It was all planned out for me. That test changed everything in the blink of an eye.

Dauntless.

That was what the Abnegation woman told me, looking at me with understanding soulful eyes as she did so. There was no hiding my shock or stopping the sobs that wracked my body. The woman held me in her arms and told me that it would be okay. I didn't know how it could be okay when I was feeling, at that moment, that my life was a lie. That _I_ was a lie.

Just before I walked out of the door she reached out for my arm and held me back. Her eyes were full of determination and something else that reached deep into me. _"You can choose Amity tomorrow, but if you do, you will never truly know who you are or who you could be."_

I went home with her words still ringing in my ears and a tangle of confused feelings within my heart. I hadn't been able to hide the pain on my face so my family saw it clearly. They knew as soon as they saw me what that meant. They didn't ask what faction I got but they knew it wasn't Amity and they made their position very clear. As gently as mi Abuela could, she let me know that if I left they would not see me again.

They would uphold faction before blood.

I was scared like I had never been before in my life, but I also felt strangely alive.

It was exactly like I felt in the paddock facing an animal that was easily eight inches taller than me and had at least a couple of hundred pounds on me if not more. I'm a five-foot-four-inch Latina girl that has a few extra pounds in some areas, but I still look like the wind could blow me over. Imagine me standing face to face with beasts towering over me. It must have looked ridiculous.

Out of the paddock, I'm very self-aware, even a little self-conscious. But inside it that all melts away and there is no fear for me.

When dealing with all the animals I understood that some of the things we had to do could and were considered cruel by others but they never bothered me. Even when some of those things involved the slaughtering of the livestock that is specifically raised for the purposes of feeding the factions. I always had the mindset that it had to be done but at least we could do it in the least stressful way as possible.

As I lay in bed that night after the test I went over things like that in my mind and it had been like unlocking some part of me that had always been held back until the revelation of the aptitude test. I knew then that the Abnegation woman from my test was right. I was given the truth and my path, and I knew I couldn't turn away from it.

I never backed down then and that's something that hasn't changed even now.

I have found myself here. It took a lot of work and some very unexpected struggles but I also like who I have become.

 _Generally_ , I love my life and who I am.

Even during times like right now when I know that come the morning sober me is going to be hating the fuck out of drunk me.

I glare over at my friend as she smirks back at me from across the bar table. I toss back the shot and beer chaser one after the other, then slam the glasses back onto the table.

"Fine! I will!" I snap at her, then shove my way through the bar and head to the door.

My three friends follow close behind me, alternating between disbelieving murmurs or begging me not to do it. I hear one pleading with me to back down for once and that only makes me even more determined to follow through with it.

 _But seriously, did she really think that was going to happen?_

It's a serious character flaw, I know, my refusal to give in or up. Even when it results in situations like back in my initiation and the fights started. I refused to go down easy and more than half of them resulted in me being beaten up pretty badly. I still didn't give up. And when my next fight came up, no matter how hurt I was, I stepped up and gave it my all.

That alone got me enough points to eke out the ranking I need to get my Physio Therapy and Medic Nurse positions and titles. Three years later and I've worked my way to the position of Head Nurse.

Walking through the compound, drunk and on the highest heels I could manage to get, is proving a challenge. I wobble and curse as the stone floors throw up obstacles that make me look like I'm a sailor on the deck of a ship during a storm, swaying back and forth. It doesn't help that even with the heels I am still a couple of inches shorter than most of the people around and have difficulties getting noticed that I'm trying to get through.

I finally manage to shove my way to my objective.

The Pit has different levels with various hangout spots throughout. Some are open-air, meaning they are shoved into some nook that's carved out of the stone but otherwise have no real enclosures. Others are full-on bars with swinging doors and everything.

Where I need to be is an open-air hangout that is really popular with the high ranking people in Dauntless. It's a prime location because it's high enough up that the people there can see almost all places in the Pit. Leaders are known for hanging out there after hours to be able to keep an eye on things and while winding down.

I always thought that it made them seem like they were half part of the faction and half sitting on thrones, lording over everyone.

As I spot him that analogy seems to hit home. He sits at the table like a king on his throne and the people surrounding him sure seem intent on treating him like he's one.

I can't help but observe this with a sneer crossing my face as it sure doesn't seem he's much of a reluctant 'king' as he's always claiming. He seems to be eating it up as they all gather to kiss his feet and lick his ass. That's exactly the thought that got me into the position I am now. Drunkenly weaving my way towards his table.

Just a bit ago I loudly made that comment to my friends in the middle of an angry rant and my friend AJ immediately jumped on it, daring me to say those exact words to his face.

And dammit, I'm just mad and drunk enough that I'm going to do exactly that. He needs to know how fucked up what he did is and I am going to tell the _legendary Four_ just what I think of him!

I make my way to his table but there's a virtual wall of people around him. Some are standing but most are sitting in or on any available surface. Not _one_ of them pays any attention to me as I give polite squeaked pleads to be let through.

One guy looks me dead in the eye, raises an eyebrow, and snorts at me dismissively.

If I wasn't already pissed that sure did the damn trick. It just fuels it even more, driving any sense of propriety or rational thought from my mind.

Usually, I'm a pretty even-tempered girl unless it comes to something I'm extremely passionate about. But when I came to Dauntless I discovered that once my temper is lit it makes me into a volcano. A tiny one, no doubt, but don't let my size fool you. I can do some damage now when I need to.

Lucky for the douchebag that fanned the flames my fuse was already lit by someone else and come hell or high water he's going to know it. I furiously look around and my eyes narrow at the nearest table as an idea pops into my head.

With a determined smile, I stomp my way over to the table and start to climb up it. I completely disregard the fact that this table is currently occupied. There was an empty space for me to use for the climb and that was invitation enough for me.

Glasses and bottles scatter and fall, breaking as they go tumbling while I scramble up onto the table and then wobble as I move from my kneeled position to try and stand. The table is solid stone and has no give but my slim stilettos don't seem to like this new development.

I look down at the shoes I fell in love with and just had to have, prepared to give them a glare and order them to behave. Instead, I get distracted by the realization that they really do make my legs look killer. Vera gushingly informed me when I first showed up in them earlier tonight and I have to agree.

The shouting from around me, as the occupants of the table protest the loss of their drinks, brings me around and I shake my head and the drunken smirk from my face.

"Focus, Devi!" I loudly scold myself and square my shoulders as I stand up, lifting my chin as my eyes zero in on my target.

This is when I notice that many eyes are on me and there are even some people catcalling or whistling while chanting _'dance, dance '_. I would tell those idiots off normally but I see this has gotten the person's attention I wanted all along.

"Hey, Four!" I bellow out loudly, trying to really project my voice. I figure just telling Four what I think isn't enough anymore. The whole damn faction should know.

The table under me shakes with the force of whoever just slammed their fist down as they yelled. "Fucking figures," with something that sounds like a groan and growl all in one. But I'm too focused to see who that is or what he means.

Four is looking right at me, startled enough that he isn't paying attention to the blurry yet vaguely familiar girl beside him who's trying to get his attention and furiously whispering in his ear.

"I have something to say to you," I yell with a hand on my hip and my eyes narrowed in anger.

"Devi?" He calls out and that stupid concerned looks he gets crosses his face. "Are you drunk right now?"

"No! And fuck you with your…" I gesture wildly at him, meaning to indicate his face and failing. So I try again using my face while searching for the words to describe what I mean but they're all coming up Spanish in my mind. When the English words finally come to me, I gasp out and continue on triumphantly. "Your stupid puckered forehead and puppy dog eyes, trying to look all concerned and nice. I've got news for you. Eres un cabròn. You aren't as nice as you play at being or what everyone thinks and I'm sick of it!"

"Well, this just got interesting," Drifts up to me from somewhere below me while around me I can hear mixed reactions from the audience.

There are a good many girls that are scowling at me, shouting out insults. Other people are simply chuckling or making various other sounds of amusement and cheers.

Four briefly looks at the blurry and out of focus girl (those drinks are starting to really hit me hard) who's still trying to get his attention and seems to make some kind of reassuring gesture to her while he stands and locks eyes with me. His eyes are narrowed in that same concerned look while he slowly starts to raise his hands while approaching me.

I guess it's supposed to look like he's trying to reassure me but honestly, to me, it just looks like he's surrendering.

"If this is about earlier today…"

Four speaking and the raised hands just irritate me and I scowl while hissing to myself. "Dauntless don't give up."

Then I stomp my foot on the table in determination, ready to repeat that out loud, making something shatter beneath the point of my heel. Someone jumps back from the table cursing but again I press on.

"Remember that? A Dauntless doesn't give up. We both learned the same thing but maybe I remember it better than you do. Maybe it was too easy for you, Mr. Dauntless Prodigy," I snort the unofficial nickname for him. "Maybe if you had learned the hard way as I had to it would have stuck a little bit better for you." I pop my hip out to the side and put my hand on it while staring him down.

"Do you even _try_ …" I wave my hand out, almost losing my balance in the process but just barely manage to stay standing "...to actually help them? The initiates you insist on continuing to train yourself? Did you actually try and help that girl? Did you try and tell her that the pain would pass and she would get stronger for it if she could just hang on? No! What did you say to her while she was laying in that bed ready to give up and walk away?" I'm furious now, my blood boiling at the memory. "All you said to her was that these were the new rules and there was nothing that could be done. All you did was imply... _hey...I know you just got the shit kicked out of you but that wasn't **my** fault._ _I didn't **make** __the rules. I just have to go by them._ Not one word from you that she could become more, that she could become Dauntless. It's bullshit!" I yell once again, but this time even more fiercely.

The force my yelling and using my body to gesture in my anger unbalances my already precarious position and I lurch forward, arms flailing wildly as I pitch forward. I close my eyes, certain my end is coming and wonder what they're going to say at my memorial at the chasm.

 _'Devi, she went how all Dauntless should. Drunk, pissed and stupid.'_

"Alright. That's enough for you tonight." A voice drawls surprisingly close to me. I realize that the hard feeling against my body is actually that of someone else's against mine, not the ground as I expected. Someone that has me held tightly in his arms and even tighter against his body.

I decide it's safe to open my eyes again to see who my savior from a very humiliating death is, and get an eye full of black clothes until they travel up to see a jawline made of stone and even harder blue eyes glaring down at me.

"Leave her alone, Eric. She's drunk and doesn't know what she's doing. I'll get her home." Four says, getting my attention and I look to see he's standing in front of me after having barely had to push his way through the crowd.

 _They all just fucking parted for him like Moses and the Red Sea._

"Como si fuera a ir a cualquier parte contigo. Metelo en el culo Mejor aún, ¡espero que un pollo te pique la polla!" I spit out furiously while glaring at Four.

"Sounds like she doesn't want anything to do with you at the moment," Eric says with a chuckle after I threw out a few more choice words in Spanish. More insults that were all livestock oriented and made not a damn bit of sense outside of Amity.

"I don't!" I nod firmly with a look of smug defiance.

"Devi, you're drunk and upset about the girl leaving. But you _don't_ need to be going off alone with _him_."

The already taut muscles of Eric's arms go even tighter as he tenses. It almost feels like there's a slight tremor in his muscles and apprehension radiates up and down my spine, tingling along the way. I might not know a lot about Eric, despite being in the same faction for over three years and having shared the same initiation. But there is one thing I know for sure and that is Eric's temper makes mine look like a missile strike against his nuclear explosion.

Still, this isn't Eric's fight and I refuse to let him take it on and fight it for me. I started this and I intend to finish it.

"Fuck you, Four!" I snarl out, my face contorting in my anger.

He was already stepping forward, arms out to take me from Eric. I swipe at his arms violently but then immediately switch to gripping Eric's tightly, nails digging in, when I felt him moving me. There was a moment I thought he was going to hand me over and I certainly didn't want that to happen, but it turned out he was moving me away from Four.

"You don't get to tell me what I should do and that _girl_ has a fucking name by the way. It's Rain, and now she'll never have the family she left everyone behind for because you didn't even try to talk her out of walking away. Why didn't you try!" I yell, my voice breaking a little. "You could've told her that it gets better and the pain doesn't last. You always want to look down your nose at Eric but at least he's always been honest with her and all the rest of them. Yes, he was pushing them hard but at least when he was people like her had a chance. Then you went and complained to get your way. Everyone is always so ready to kiss your ass and lick your feet…." I pause and shake my head because that isn't right, "I mean kiss your feet and lick your ass…" That sounds right but confusion makes it feel like it isn't. "You know what I mean!" I huff finally. "Sometimes you have to break someone to make them stronger and she needed to know that. She needed her trainer to tell her she could do it."

I can tell I've royally pissed Four off but I don't care. It's all true. And it also hurt me too much to watch that girl throw her life away by giving up. That made me need to hurt someone in return.

"Enough, Devi. You've had your say. Now go sleep it off but we _will_ be talking about this privately." Four says lowly before turning and walking away, vanishing into the crowd that rushes in and blurs around him.

Things had already started to go on the blurring, spinning side, but it feels like hits me even harder all of the sudden. I guess the rush of adrenaline that was pushing me through my drunken state has finally started to fade enough that all that liquor I downed in a short amount of time has decided it's time to really have fun with me. You would think it's already had its fill by me showing my ass in the Pit but obviously there is more in store for me. It's leaving me spinning and groaning as I let my head briefly rest against the solid surface of Eric's chest.

"I don't feel so good," I mutter into his chest after some minutes pass and the spinning hasn't gotten any better.

I don't dare to open my eyes. At first, it feels like the air is rushing past my body. Making me think I really am spinning. When I look up all I can see at first is Eric staring straight ahead with his jaw tense but his mouth moving slightly. Like he's muttering under his breath. I look away from him to see that sensation of air rushing along my body is because we're in motion. Eric still has me locked against his body and is walking at a steady pace but doesn't seem to be rushing. We are nowhere near the pit, telling me he's already been walking for a bit and I didn't even realize it.

I try to determine where we are but everything looks like blurred streaks making my head hurt and stomach flip. I groan and slam my eyes shut again.

"I swear if you throw up on me I'll assign you maid duties in my apartment for a fucking month."

"I won't. I just spin." I reply with a pained sigh before I dare to open my eyes again. Trying to look around me. The doors and hallways are still all speeding by and nothing looks familiar. "Are you taking me home with you, Eric?"

The words come out and I pause, tilting my head because it sounds off to me. Almost as if there was excitement in my tone.

Eric chuckles but it's so deep and husky that the only reason I realize it is a chuckle is that his body and chest vibrates with it.

He comes to a stop and looks down at me when I tilted my head back to look up at him. His eyes look darker in the light of the residential hallways and the shadows from them make his cheeks morph so that his natural predatory expression just seems even more feral. His eyes flick away from me and he takes a breath then shifts so he has all my weight on one arm while also using his leg to balance me. He leans towards me until I can almost feel the heat of his breath on me.

"Not tonight, little one," He pauses and lifts his free arm to pound on a door then wraps that arm securely around me again.

Silence fills the heartbeats as I look between him and the door, wondering what the hell's going on. When there is rustling coming from the other side, Eric gets my attention again. This time it isn't just the heat of his breath, but the brush of his lips against my ear as he speaks.

"You might not have ever meant to get my attention, Devi," Locks are being thrown on the other side of the door when I swear I feel the nip of his teeth on the tip of my ear, "But you certainly have it, little one. You better be ready for me now."

Is that a threat? A promise? Why does it feel like both?

The door opens suddenly and I see Tori standing there, completely disheveled and looking extremely put out to be disturbed. She's not even a bit less intimidating by her state of dress at all.

That's the thing I most admire about the older woman. I'm sure that most people would be uneasy having to approach her when she is looking like this. While if I tried to pull this same look off it would make me look like a petulant child. She's certainly always been respected by those that know her but especially now that she became one of our leaders after all the bullshit that went on with Erudite with the assistance of the old Dauntless leader regime.

I grin drunkenly at her which causes her to sniff even as her expression softened slightly for me. Then her eyes shifted over and hardened again when she eyes Eric. Or rather _me_ in Eric's arms.

"Little late for a tattoo don't you think, guys?" She deadpans while crossing her arms over her chest.

I start to chuckle, while Eric starts to move without even replying. He doesn't even ask before he moves forward and through the door, with Tori scowling in his direction but not stopping him either.

His steps take him quickly to the couch where he leans down from the waist and deposits me onto the cushions while speaking over his shoulder to Tori. "Take care of that for me, will ya? I'll be back to retrieve her in the morning." He straightens and turns his back to me. Completely ignoring the fact that he's disregarding me while doing so, and continues to speak to her. "I expect her to still be here."

The fact that he hasn't once looked at me again from the time Tori opened the door, along with the fact that he's treating me like some package he has any control over, just pisses me off. So obviously I have to say and do something about this.

I pop up to get off that couch with every intention of telling him I sleep where I want. When I want. And with who I want….

Only the room starts spinning. I flop back against the couch like a fish out of the water while moaning loudly and putting a hand to my head.

"Wait! Why am I the one being stuck with the extremely drunk girl? One that looks like she's minutes away from being sick all over my carpet? Need I tell you how hard that shit is to clean from white carpet?"

I crack my eyes open to try and get out something in protest but only let out another moan. I see Eric casually shrugging then turning back to me, reaching down like he's going to scoop me back up but he does it very slowly and with a smirk on his lips. "Okay. I can take her back to my place like she was asking but I won't be responsible for what happens there. I just thought I would give that thing that you're always on me about a try. You know, to be less of a selfish dick."

"Well fuck," Tori sighs and pushes him away from me just as his hands brush against me. "Fine. But you owe me."

He grins at her, flashing teeth and looking younger somehow. It occurs to me that I've never seen Eric Coulter smile before. At least not like that. I watch all of that as he walks towards the door with some kind of rekindling of a long-dormant, repressed really, desire inside of me as I watch him go.

 _Maybe it's my stomach rebelling and Tori really should be worried?_

Before he gets to the door he looks at me, really looks at me, for the first time since we entered the apartment and winks.

Wait...Eric just…. _winked_ at me?

It takes entirely too long for me to process any of that and by that time Tori is walking towards me from somewhere. In her hands, she has a glass of water and a bottle of pills while a shirt is draped over her arm.

You wouldn't think it with how she greeted the two of us and the exchange just after, but Tori is the closest thing to real family I have here in Dauntless. She has been since shortly after I arrived. Sure, I have friends now, but none of them are as close to me as she is and none of them were there for me like she's been.

In my initiation, I was a pariah.

My former faction alone was already a source of ridicule but I had other things going against me from the start. Most everyone just pretended I didn't exist since it was easier to refuse to get close to someone that was never going to make it. Others seemed to take offense at me being in Dauntless at all. This was usually conveyed by their taunts and making fun of me in any way they could.

Once I was even attacked. I didn't go down without giving them as good as I got. But I usually faced them, and anything during that time, alone.

One day I wandered into the parlor and after that, I practically lived there every day when I wasn't involved in something for initiation. I never really let on to what was going on with me or how bad it got and Tori never pressed. Just being there helped and I think she knew that. I wouldn't say I was working at the parlor, because that wasn't technically allowed, but I was helping out. From designing things, once Tori and Bud found out I could draw, to helping stock or clean. I learned the ropes and was even thinking about taking up the tattoo gun when initiation ended.

I figured I would probably get a good enough rank for that at least.

When I ranked sixth Tori was the one that urged me to try for something better. She knew that one of my passions and eventual goals in Amity had been to be one of their healers. I had hoped to try and bring in more than what the faction normally allowed for treatments but that had been more of a long-term goal for me then. When I left Amity, I just accepted that wasn't going to be in the cards for me but Tori made me rethink it and go for the position that was open in the clinic.

She believed in and supported me when I needed her and that the most.

"Devi, Devi, Devi." She sighs out my name while shaking her head.

By this time I've already changed into the shirt, taken the pills and drank most of the water before I had to lay down when the spinning threatened me again.

She runs a hand over my hair softly and worry mars her brow. "What have you done?"

I smile faintly as I remember the night and my triumph. "I told Four off!"

Tori's hand pauses in mid-stroke of my hair and her eyes widen. Then a smile curls her lips and she laughs softly. "Of course you did."

"Eric caught me when I fell and then Four tried to tell me I shouldn't go with him but I told him off again."

"Did you now? Twice in a row. No wonder." I frown in confusion but she's just smirking at me. "I'm sure he doesn't even realize what he's in for."

I shrug still not understanding but not up to figuring it out. "I _have_ to close my eyes now or I can't promise I won't make a Pollock painting of your carpet."

"Eww." Tori groans and gratefully grants my request.

I hear her shuffling away and the light that was on in the room clicks off, making the dark behind my eyelids even darker. I let out a blissful moan and reach up to put the heels of my palms over my eyes and gently put pressure on them. Hoping the spinning will stop soon.

It does eventually seem to slow down and I can feel that kind of unconsciousness that happens when I've overindulged. Some would call it a blackout but that's not what happens for me this time. As the spinning slows images start to stream by, some I can't make out at all and others I can make out but they make no sense whatsoever.

Like the feather duster and the extremely short, frilly black and white dress…..


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own plot and OC's**

 **Part 2**

There was pounding. That was how I woke up, to pounding. That and to bright light being directed straight at my face as curtains were ripped away from the window.

I grabbed the nearest item that could help me and stuffed it over my head to block out both offending senses. It was promptly ripped away.

"Oh no you don't. I am being graced with, by the sound of his annoying knock, his surly presence well before I should even be starting my day. You don't get to play the hangover hell card here."

With that I watch the bleary figure of Tori retreating and leaving me wonder how I ended up at Tori's and what the hell happened last night. She wrenches open the door and sighs at whoever is on the other side.

"Is she here?" Is snapped out and I can see her nod as I start to take stock of myself.

Oversized t shirt that clearly isn't mine or Tori's. I was sleeping on her couch. Coffee table with pill bottle and glass. Bucket beside the couch. So somehow I got so drunk that I couldn't even make it home. How did Tori get involved? Where were my friends that were supposed to have my back and for once in my life let _me_ be the one to get drunk out of my mind and forget what I was so livid at?

Better question. Why is Four staring at me like he doesn't know whether to hug me or slap the crap out of me?

"Uh oh." I mutter with wide eyes as small and distant parts of the night filter through the pounding that is still going on.

"Well at least he wasn't lying about this." Four mutters darkly as he looks over me and squints. "You don't remember a thing about last night?"

"Muy poco." I reply with a sheepish shrug and wince before laying back down and covering my eyes with the throw pillow from the couch.

"You know I don't understand when you…"

"She said very little, Four. You aren't going to get more out of her if she is going to spanish. I don't know what she did but cut her some slack." Tori had that tone in her voice. The words were a request but it was all more like a threat. Telling Four he better or he would deal with her.

"Fine. We will be talking later, Devi. You can't just do that to a leader…"

"Oh, ahora arrojas el estado de tu líder. No ... aw shucks, solo hago lo que puedo ahora ¿verdad?" I grumbled into the pillow and tune out what he is saying.

The night after I left work might be a blur but not everything that happened before that. I was still angry and frustrated.

"Just go Four. I'll talk to her." Tori says and I already hear movement going towards the door then it closing.

It is quiet other than the sound of Tori moving around in her kitchen. I clench my eyes shut and brave removing the pillow from my eyes. I succeed in sitting up and look around. My head is killing me so I concentrate on that before anything else. A few pills and the rest of the water from the glass have that taken care of.

I take my hands and move them over different areas along my scalp, neck and face in pressure points to try and relieve the pounding pressure and tension in my neck. With hangovers that isn't going to take care of it all.

I groan and stand slowly. Tori is moving smoothly around the kitchen and I can smell her favorite tea brewing along with what smells like toast being made as well.

"Eric will be here soon. So you might want to get that tea…" She says as she turns and puts a cup of it in front of me then turns as the toast pops up and puts it on a plate "..and that toast in your system then get cleaned up."

I frown as I grab the butter and honey she also put on the island. "Jeez, Tor. I didn't realize you had guys coming over for morning house calls. Also, when did you and Eric become a thing...again?"

She snorts and shakes her head while she eyes me over her cup. "You know very well those rumors were short lived and untrue. Dauntless is just one big ball of gossiping old women."

I smirk and take sip of the tea slowly. "Yeah but it was funny when I heard it. Who was it again that started it?"

Tori groans and shrugs. "Who is usually at the center of pranks around here? Pick a Pedrad they were both equally as guilty, deciding to play Chinese whispers using mine and Eric's names."

I laughed then grabbed my head and winced. "Fuck! I really have to remember why I don't drink in the future."

"About that...tell me what happened. I need to know to be able to handle whatever drama is going to happen between Eric and Four."

I am frowning because try hard as I might I don't have any clue why Eric would be involved at all. "Look I am drawing a blank here as to why Eric is even in the equation. I know I got drunk and was pissed off and probably had words with Four about it. So you tell me why the hell Eric would be coming here?"

A slow grin spread across her face and she shook her head. "Yeah no. I think I will sit back and watch this unfold. Drink up, time is ticking."

She chuckled and swished away into her bedroom, her silk robe billowing out behind her. But the tone in her voice and the smile on her lips sent chills down my spine and made me wonder if what I really needed to do was just to get the hell out of there. It couldn't be good that Eric himself was coming to get me. Seriously, what happened to my friends having my back!

I take a few gulps of tea but am already making my way over to where my discarded dress, heels and small purse are. At least I had the purse and a means to get into my apartment if my roommate wasn't there. She better not be there because I am not a happy camper having to do the walk of shame, hungover as hell and running from Eric for something I don't even remember doing!

By the time I hear the water of Tori's shower turning off, I am dressed and scribbled a note on her entryway mirror in my lipstick. I feel a smug satisfaction as I slip out of the door and hear it click behind me. She had been so ready to leave me to deal with Eric, was even looking forward to it. Well let's see how she liked me left high and dry with Supreme Leader Stick in the mud.

* * *

I make it into my apartment and have every intention of showering, taking more medicine while getting water in me; then passing out again in a darkened room.

Work has other plans. I am dripping wet and wrapped in a towel when I hear my phone going off. The ringtone is one that I have specifically for the extension in the clinic. As usual someone got called out to work medic with the patrols so I am being called in.

Dauntless have few trained medic nurses. Most come from Erudite and they work set hours during the week already leaving a shortage during the weekend. Should anything happen and even one single nurse not be able to make it in, things get backed up and in a hurry. Especially on a weekend. The patient turnover rate is insane.

I let them know I will be in and am already pulling on my black scrubs. I toss my hair up into a messy bun, pull on the shoes that make being on my feet all day bearable; then I am grabbing my regular bag and rushing out of the door.

I don't even have to time to stop and grab anything to eat or drink and when I get there I hit the ground running. Most of the time our clinic sees minor wounds coming in. Things caused from training injuries or even the entertainment fights that go on. Even most of those don't have serious crap that happens. They are heavily regulated. Broken bones, head injuries, and split lips are all just par for the course and regular in Dauntless regardless.

There is a bar though that serves a rougher crowd and allows some dirtier fighting. It is aptly named Big Shots, the name coming about because that is what frequents there. The big shots. The big bad fighters that crave a little more in the action. It is the only place that fights can be wagered on and apparently business was booming in there last night.

"What the hell went on last night?" I growled out to my Med Aide. She is rushing beside me with charts that are filling her arms.

"There was a bit of a brawl at the bar just before shut down, a few hours ago. Not sure what happened but it was bad enough leadership was called in and had to bring some guards to sort things out."

"Jesus." I sigh and start taking a few of the charts and resign myself to a long day. "Well let's get triage set up. Whatever is left over that hasn't been gotten to yet we still keep with priority. I know that we already had a few appointments for just regular visit crap. Those are going to have to be pushed back."

She nods and gets bustling as I walk into the curtained off area where the first of many of patients wait for me. A story starts to unfold for me with each person I see.

There was indeed a brawl. The guy that had been the current champion of Big Shots had gotten taken down, ending a four month long streak. Which considering this is Dauntless is pretty damn good. Anyways this had caused an uproar and things got out of hand. People claiming that it was rigged or he lost the fight on purpose. Either way it got bad enough that both Eric and Four showed up to get it under control.

Some of the injuries I treated were from one or both of the leaders and it had me shaking my head. I have said before that the two of them are more alike then either one will admit. There are differences of course. Major ones really and this was really only going by what I had observed of the two during training or other various encounters. It came down to them having the same goals just going about achieving them differently.

I don't have time to reflect on more about either Four or Eric. I don't have time to wonder what Eric could want with me when he hadn't seemed to even know I existed for all of the three years I have been here. He certainly hasn't seemed to care or consider in the multiple requests I have submitted for the addition of a few things to the med services that Dauntless provides.

Thinking about that particular subject always fans the flames of temper but add it with my thoughts of Rain and her leaving, I was a simmering mess at the moment. Which was a really bad time to suddenly be faced with one of the objects of that anger.

I had just opened the door of one of the private rooms with a chart in my hand. There was a knife wound to the ribs that would need to be stapled that had just come in. Whoever it was apparently had been part of the brawl but had only just now strolled in. He also got himself bumped up to be seen immediately.

I blame the fact that I still had a lingering hangover in addition to little sleep and no food on missing who that most likely meant it would be. I doubt the few seconds of preparation would have helped me from coming to stop or the muffled squeak I cut off thankfully.

Eric was leaning against the table in the room. Arms crossed over his chest and a pissed off expression marring his normally emotionless features. His eyes narrowed when I came in and they swept over me from top to bottom.

"About time." He drawled out but didn't move and was still studying me. "I got your note. Cute. You are lucky I had shit to do and didn't come find you sooner."

"I…." I swallow and take a steadying breath then square my shoulders and lift my chin. "You aren't the only one that had things to do. As you can see I am busy handling that mess from Big Shots."

I wave my hand in the direction of the waiting room which is full at the moment.

"Was there something medical you needed or was it just your pride that was wounded? Because I'm afraid I don't have anything to help you with that."

There goes my temper, making me talk out of my ass again. I was a little careless in how I was talking to the feared leader but I also knew I was the one in charge here. He is a leader but the health and well being of faction members trumped whatever personal slight he might think he received.

I was waiting for an explosion, after all he has and will always have a short fuse for disrespect. I never got it but I did get a deep chuckle while he reached down for the hem of his shirt then started a slow lift. If I hadn't caught the slight wince and his eyes wrinkling at the sides I would have thought he was going slow in some type of arrogant tease.

It was impossible to deny the man had a spectacular body. It was impossible of me to deny that there was and had been a passing attraction and fascination with him. One that I didn't give another thought to when it became clear there wasn't a chance he would look my way.

He was wincing in the very slightest letting me know this wasn't some kind of show or game. He was hurt in some way. I moved immediately and without thought. My hands pushed his away and I was whipping the shirt off and over his head. A feat because I had to do a very slight jump from my tiptoes. Damn my height.

He mumbled a thanks but I was already looking him over. He was definitely my knife wound. Thank god it looked to be more of a slash but even that was bad enough. They had used one of the serrated blade type of knives and it left the flesh a jagged mess.

"Table." I hissed out the order with narrowed eyes and then spun to start gathering everything.

"You are a bossy little thing aren't you?" He mutters behind me but I hear him sliding on the table so he at least followed the order. "Can you take orders as well as you give them?"

I was turning back towards him as he said this with a cocky smirk and the tone laden with innuendo. I ignored both and moved to the table to lay out all the supplies. One more look and I saw that he had tried to clean it up, maybe even started on trying to stitch himself back up but thought better of it. All it did was make it bleed more and would need to be cleaned again.

I started to prep a needle for anesthetic but he grunted out that he didn't need that shit. I replied with an arched brow and smirk. "Okay, Dalton. Let's see if that ' _pain don't hurt_ ' philosophy pans out for you."

I shake my head with a smile I can't help after he gives a full on laugh and grins at me. "Well aren't you just a fun sized package of surprise. The question is, was it the remake or the original?"

I scoff and move away to get something to clean the wound. "That isn't a question. There was only the original."

I come back with a small bowl of water that has a disinfectant soap with a slight numbing agent in it and a soft sponge to clean up with. I will also need to do a light irrigation of it after I clean around the area with the soap. I start to clean up by gently washing around the wound. I hope I am able to pull off the completely unaffected and unintimidated demeanor I am going for. I already know that his intense and unwavering study of me along with the fact that I have to get in close to tend to him, has me all off kilter.

I don't need this or to be feeling the stirrings of...whatever it is...right now. It already has caused me to lose sight of the impersonal role I should be taking on. Like for instance the fact that I completely forgot to put on gloves and am running my hand along his ribs with bare skin. It is too late to do it right away so I continue on cleaning then patting the area dry with gauze pads.

Once I am done I dump the bowl of water and make to put on gloves finally and he raises an eyebrow then shakes his head. "No gloves."

I put a hand on my hip and shake my head. "I am afraid that I am required to wear them if I am going to have to close that wound. Unless you have some medical reason for not wanting me to wear them."

God lord why did I say that? I know very well he doesn't have one it would say it on the chart. I just gave him an excuse and from the look of that slow wicked smile that is crossing his face before he wipes it away and gives a nod….

"Yeah. Allergy."

I hesitate. I could call him on it but I decide not to. I snort and push down the flutter I feel when I get close to him again. "Well that must put a damper on your love life."

I am between his legs when I say this and inwardly curse myself for that timing. One of his arms is raised over his head to allow me access but I feel his legs squeeze just a little bit. As if he knows I realize where I am and he isn't letting me go.

"I seem to manage just fine." His words are purred and made all the more unsettling because the other arm moved so that his hand is resting against my hip. I ignored all that and work. I feel him holding his breath and release with when I start to staple but otherwise he doesn't make a sound. Until he starts to talk.

"So what was all that about with Four? Last I checked you were pretty good friends with his little posse."

I steal glance at him but he isn't looking at me. I recognize what he is doing and that is trying to focus on something, anything, other than the pain. So the fearsome leader does feel. The thought that he is feeling pain and that I am causing it makes me frown. I shrug and hope that giving him what he needs will help some.

"I was…" I stop and squint while taking a breath. "Scratch that. I am angry about what happened with Rain."

"You've seen others leave or get cut before. So why was it different for you with her?"

"It isn't like I love seeing it with the others. Even in our initiation when those two girls dropped out I didn't like it."

He gives a huff causing me to look up and he is scowling. "You mean the girls that were also your terrorizers."

I shrug not liking the memory of that or them really. I am honestly surprised he even remembers that. "I didn't think we were going to be best friends and I would have been happy to never have to see them again. I still don't wish being factionless on anyone, Eric."

"Okay. I can...no I can't get it. That's not my style but whatever. So what made Rain the person that set you off on Four? Was it just something that was building for a long time?" Damn he was persistent and he could tell I was trying to get around telling him. "Tell me, Devi."

"Because it could have been me okay!" I stop what I am doing, slam the tool down on the table and try to shove away but his legs lock around me. "Rain was from Amity, Eric." I put my hands on his legs to try and pry them from me but the damn things are like the jaws of a locked bear trap and I looked ridiculous the longer I struggled.

I finally gave up with a huff. Exhaustion was pouring through me and I looked up to find him studying me. "She told me that she only chose Dauntless because of me." I whispered finally and saw his look of surprise. "They talk about me there. How I was the perfect Amity and it was such a shame I left. She also said there is surprise that I made it. When her test came back and it was Dauntless, she wasn't going to do it. Then she remembered hearing about me and thought if I could do it so could she."

Understand flits in his eyes and he sighs. His hold loosening on me a little and he looks away. "So all that you said to Four was that just because of you feeling guilty?"

I shake my head and trying to think back to what all I might have said. Faint remnants of it come forward. "No. I was and still am very angry at him. It wasn't all guilt. I don't remember everything I said but whatever it was...I meant it. I don't do it often but when I get drunk I become more honest. Less likely to just hold it all in."

"Hmm." Is his only reply as looks down at me again, a slow small smirk appearing on his lips. "Good to know."

That is all he says and I squint waiting for something else but he just shrugs. I roll my eyes, look at his side and see I still need to finish. I pick up the stapler and resume my work. When I get to the last few ones I feel his hand that is on my hip trying to slip under the hem of the scrub top. His fingers graze bare skin and I jerk as the last staple goes into place.

He winces and curses but I don't bother apologizing as I slam the tool down once again then push his hand away. "What the hell?"

He frowns at me and tilts his head. "You didn't seem to mind last night when you were basically begging me to take you home?"

My stomach lurches into my throat and I shake my head. I wouldn't have...would I? No. I am sure I didn't do something like that. Yeah I could be more aggressive when drunk but I also wasn't about to just throw myself at random people. I back away, or he lets me go, but he also follows closely. Cat like advancing slowly and with a smirk.

"If that is true then how did I end up at Tori's?" I ask just as my back hits a cabinet.

"I know I am a bastard but even I won't engage in sex with a drunk girl. What's the point if she can't sing my praises the next morning?" He gets in close and there is a teasing light to his words. A brushing off of trying to be noble or good with what he just said.

"So you think it is ok to just try to come pick up something that you are assuming I even wanted in the first place? Coming in here thinking that just because you lift your eyebrow my panties are going to get all wet and I am just going to spread my legs for you. That might work for you with the other girls but I am nothing like they are."

I am trying to push him and piss him off so he will turn around and walk out of here. He doesn't and if anything he starts to get closer to me making my chest start to heave and my breathing go off. I have never felt the amount of heat radiating off someone and through me like I am now but I keep it together. Even as he starts get close enough that his nose brushed against me. Starting at my ear then down further.

"I am counting on that little Devi." He whispers this just a hair's breadth away from my lips. My mouth goes dry with anticipation and despite my words I think I really do want him to kiss me. "I am very much looking forward to finding out exactly what you are made of."

He moves even closer and I feel the slight skim of his lips against mine before he pulls away. I sway forward a little because I had been following him to complete the kiss that never came. He smirks and steps back still looking at me and bites his bottom lip before he turns and walks over to his the table and grabs his shirt.

He whips it on while I feel like I want to slap the shit out of the smug look on his face. I am still standing by the cabinet, just watching him with a growing scowl in my face. He grabs his jacket from a chair by the bed and a bag that was sitting under it. He walks back to me and presses the bag into my hands.

"You're right. You are different but there is no escaping this or me now, little one." He looks to the bag and smiles. "I expect you to eat all of that before you go see another person. I'll be telling them out there you're busy."

I go to start to tell him off for what he is trying to do but he leans forward and before I can utter a word his lips seal around mine. It is so fast and forceful that I don't have time to process that it immediately had me mewling for more before he pulled back and turned towards the door.

He turned as he got the door open and let his eyes linger on me. "I'll be seeing you very soon, Devi."

The door closed behind him and I sunk to the ground right there. My hand pressed to my lips and trying to figure out what the hell just happened. What the hell made Eric even look my way when he hasn't before in all my years here.

Remembering the bag I still had clutched to my chest, I opened it to find a sack lunch from one of the best delis here. Inside was one of my favorite sandwiches, roast beef with a spicy mustard. The fact that he had that added made me wonder and question if Eric was as oblivious to my presence as I once believed?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: This is still V Roths Tilt-A-Whirl and I am just the hack in the DJ booth trying to freestyle a remix!**

* * *

 **Part 3**

I decided that I'm not going to eat the food Eric pushed on me. After he left, I felt fury flood me at how presumptuous he had been and that pushed aside any pleasant feelings I had when I opened the bag to peek inside.

I'm angry at my reaction to him.

I'm still furious at Four for letting Rain go.

My head is killing me and I'm completely exhausted.

I'm just pissed and grumpy in general. I walk out of that room, still clutching the bag, and fully intend to toss it in the trash then start back to work.

As soon as I get to the waiting room I see that most of it cleared out and that Kari is rushing towards me with wide eyes. They're darting between me, the bag, and then the cameras.

I grumble under my breath, already knowing what's coming. "What did he say to you?"

It's not Kari who answers her but Devon, the other aid on staff. "He said that if you didn't do what he said he would hold the two of us responsible. That he would be more than happy to arrange for an extended visit for one or both of us at the fence."

Kari is pale and shaking, confirming that everything Devon said is true. My fury explodes and I start muttering in a combination of English and Spanish. Mainly curse words.

 _I refuse to give in! I know there is no way he's going to get away with taking away the staff we need here at the clinic._

I push past Devon and go to throw the bag in the trash but he stops me by pulling my arm back and scowling at me.

"Fine! If you're so dead set on seeing one of us being sent to the fence, at least I can see what the _mighty Eric_ brought to you. Better yet, I'll just eat it myself and then I can say I was treated to something by the man that never does anything for anyone other than himself."

He goes to actually grab the bag but this makes me snap and I punch him the gut before holding the bag, the one I was about to toss just seconds ago, close to my chest. "Culo! No one is touching this!"

He smirked through holding his stomach. "Told you." He said looking back at Kari.

"Told who what?" I snapped.

Kari shakes her head and raises her hands while still shooting glances at the camera. "Seriously though, could you just go eat, Devi? Go to the office and we can handle things while you are gone. You know you get all grouchy when you haven't eaten anyway."

I narrow my eyes but went ahead to the office. Kari isn't wrong and I can become a complete bitch when I haven't eaten.

Today is so much worse because I'm also hungover and tired as hell. I slam the office door and fling myself in the chair after tossing the bag on the desk. It doesn't take me long to give in to the temptation of the smells and the urgings of my growling stomach.

I tear into the bag then lunch eagerly.

It isn't just the sandwich, but also a bag of cheese crisps, a cake brownie, and then one of the whole dill pickles that are shipped in from Amity.

It's all perfect food to fill me up and soak up the alcohol that I'm sure is still running through my system. For that reason, and that reason alone, I decided not to feel guilty about taking my time eating every bit of lunch. There is also paperwork and charts that needed to be completed or filed, so I took this time to get that all done since I was already in the office.

In between bites, I worked happily and with the occasional hum of pleasure.

I hate the fact that my mood started to improve as I went along. When I emerged from the office I felt loads better but wasn't about to comment on it. The first time Devon cast a knowing smirk at me I sent him a glare that shut him up very quickly and sent him hustling to get the areas that needed it cleaned up.

The rest of the day was spent catching up with normal things.

Members or dependents that needed to be seen for one thing or another, but couldn't during the week, they always come in during the weekend for appointments. That makes my morning packed with those visits on top of anyone that might come in that hasn't been scheduled. Things calm down eventually, but we still have to push people we didn't get to during the day to be seen tomorrow. Which means another of my days off will be spent in the clinic.

Shauna finally comes in to relieve me for the evening shift but I stay to help clean things up and go over the charts of the unlucky few that have an overnight stay with us ahead of them. She chatters the entire time.

What Tori said about Dauntless and gossip is completely true. The _'head bitch'_ , although she herself would never be considered a bitch, in the gossip food chain is none other than my friend and co-worker. Her information is usually on point and reliable. She can usually call or predict something before it ever becomes official.

Part of that has to be because her fiancé and his brother are both working in Intel or work closely with leadership. Tonight she's going on about what had happened in the faction so far and the big story going on is about the brawl.

Turns out the former champ at Big Shots, Razor, did throw the fight in a way. He was wasted out of his mind and nowhere near the condition to handle the level of fights he was scheduled to face that night. The brawl happened when the refs, manager, and judges all made the decision that the wins were void and the fights would be scheduled for another night.

The people that won big were livid. The ones that were all for the rematches got pissed when the other group started calling them, and the champ, out for cheating in some way. Honestly, it sounded like even if he won there would have been an explosion of some kind. We're all fighters after all, and it doesn't take much for us to want to get in on the action too.

In the middle of cleaning a room together, Shauna stops and looks over at me with a frown.

"Hey, you really should take off and get some sleep. You had a long night from what I heard and it isn't going to get better for you tomorrow."

I snapped up from making the bed and whip around to look at her. "What the hell does that mean?"

I already have dread running through me, and when she shrugs with a knowing smile, I know. I just _know_.

"Something I heard but I'm not supposed to talk about. I _can_ tell you that tomorrow will probably be a long day for you."

If Tori and Shauna could be put side by side, at least the Tori from this morning and Shauna right now, their tones and smiles would be a complete imitation of the other.

"You can't say? Why?" I pop my hip out and my hand goes on it.

I might be tiny but I can be fierce if you piss me off enough and I'm right there at the edge with the only thing in my line of sight being Shauna. Friend or not it's tempting. I guess she recognizes this look enough and the smile drops.

"Look, I want to tell. I had every intention of telling you, actually. That's why he ordered me not too when he saw I was listening in to his conversation with Uri at lunch."

I don't even need to ask who gave that order. Her expression matches the one Kari had from earlier.

"Hijo de puta! Esto es un montón de mierda de caballo. Durante tres años, apenas sabe que existo, ¿pero ahora decide que merezco otra mirada?" I fume and stomp my foot in a huff.

I jerk around and finish making the bed.

"Sorry," Shauna says softly from the other side of the room. I wave that off and shake my head.

"Not your fault," I mutter with a sigh.

When the bed is made we make our way out of the room and she looks to me as I am gathering my things from the office.

"I don't think he didn't see you all those years, Devi." She calls to me softly as I was walking out of the room. "I don't know for sure, but sometimes I thought I caught him watching you. It's hard to know with Eric though."

I sigh wearily and smile back at her. "I'll see you in the morning. Thanks for the heads up."

I head home and grab something to eat after I take a much-needed bath. My roommate and friend Sadie apologized profusely for the night before.

It turns out they were there with me all along but when they tried to approach Eric when he was taking me from the pit, he turned his famous glare on them, warning them away. They hadn't dared to try and stop him after that. I would have told her off for not even trying, but it isn't worth my energy. I know all that would have done is get them on Eric's shit list.

By the time I finally crawl into bed I've gone into denial mode and coming up with anything that could be causing Eric's behavior besides what my body is telling me it might be.

This was all just an amusing distraction for him. Sadie told me what happened and how Four also tried to get me away from Eric. This is his way to get back at Four after he tried to keep me from Eric in the Pit. Eric knew it would be a button he could push on Four and had done that.

Come tomorrow he'll be bored of it and move on to some other much more willing victim.

He doesn't really have any interest in me and I refuse to let myself feel any kind of hurt about that realization.

Tomorrow I'll wake up, go to work, and then go out with my girls.

Maybe I'll even take Ash up on that offer to hang out. I could use a pick me up.

I go to sleep feeling more confident and with a smile on my face.

But there is the faint thought that if there is real interest, Eric is about to get another wound to that overinflated ego of his.

* * *

The morning dawn once again and way too soon for my liking.

Over my morning coffee, I send off a few texts to make plans for that night.

Sadie, Vera, and AJ are all willing. Even Lynn said she could be counted in for a few drinks and dancing. I also send one to Ash telling him where I would be for the night. If he wants to stop by, have a few drinks and maybe dance he's more than welcome too.

Ash is someone I see from time to time.

He works patrols and has a rotating schedule where he's out of the compound for two weeks before coming back for two.

We've never tried for anything serious between us for various reasons. Some of it's because of our schedules and dedication to our jobs, but that isn't all of it. We are honestly more just friends with the occasional side of benefits. We don't always hook up when we hang out though.

It's just nice to have someone to cuddle or dance with without them being a total creep. Just someone to have fun with, be myself, and not worry about either of us wanting more than we are capable of providing.

I don't expect him to be up to reply right away, neither of us expects the other to drop whatever we might be doing just because we call, but he does and he happily agrees to meet me for the night. It will be his last night to out before he goes back on rotation.

There is a pep in my step as I head out to work. I even stop by the combination deli and bakery to pick up some treats for me and the others.

I have to be careful how often I do this, but I've never been one to try and deny myself just because of what someone else thinks will be bad for me.

It's nice to be able to get things like muffins, cake or other baked goods again now that I don't have to worry about them being dosed with peace serum. It took a while for me to be able to eat anything even remotely close to bread once I got to Dauntless. They don't talk about what happens to the people that have been living on that mierda.

The day of my choosing ceremony my family made a big breakfast for me. I didn't give it a thought when I was eating my fill of sweetbreads right along with the fruit they had that morning. They were both normal things for our meals, and we had sweetbreads at least a few times a week. Mi Abuela loved to bake and garden. Those had been her pleasures, so there was always something for us to eat from that.

I've always wondered if they knew what would happen to me that first week of being in Dauntless.

Wondered if my family had known, as I loaded up on the bread, that once I left there I would suffer. Did they know I would go through something called withdrawal? Did they think it was only right that I go through hell for betraying them and leaving?

I don't want to believe that they would do that to someone they loved, but I have my doubts about their love because of that suffering. Someone had to know that living for so long on a drug-induced set of false feelings would throw me off so badly. Someone had to know that I would struggle with trying to deal with all of the feelings that I had never been _allowed_ to deal with on my own before.

Initiation would have been hell on anyone but a girl with my physicality coming from Amity made it a certainty. Adding that I had the emotional stability of a pubescent teen and it just amplified that.

It took me almost an entire year before I would even touch something with bread in it at all.

 _Have I mentioned how much I love bread and sweets?_

That by itself was enough to make me completely moody, especially when all around me the Dauntless cake was taunting me. I may have punched someone once when they seemed to take pleasure in teasing me while they slowly ate their cake across from me at dinner once.

Uriah Pedrad still won't eat cake if I'm around.

Keri and Devon fall on the donuts and muffins once I make it into the office. This is where we gather every morning to be debriefed by the night staff on everything that happened during the night and the status of anyone staying.

It's another busy day for me. All the appointments or people that got turned away and told to come back yesterday are expected today. Some of the ones left over from the mess the brawl created came back during the night, so thankfully most of that mess was taken care of by the night crew. There are a few walk-ins with cuts or broken bones but none of the crap that I was seeing yesterday morning.

Overall, while work does keep me busy, I'm still holding onto the good mood I woke up in. It's looking like I'm going to get out earlier than I expected, and since this is supposed to be my day off anyway, it just improves my mood even more.

So much so that I almost forget about yesterday completely.

I mean, I've only daydreamed about that kiss and Eric a _few_ times today, so I think I'm doing pretty good.

The last appointment of my day is a young dependent. It's just a simple one, being seen for a persistent cough and congestion that turned out to be an ear infection.

We don't have a doctor on staff from Erudite and while I _am_ qualified for many things, there are some of them that are just beyond me.

Instead of sending a doctor over, we have a computer station that has a scanner along with other various places where we can put in any blood draws or other things of that nature. That allows us to send and receive information to staff over at the Erudite hospital. It's fairly old and can take an absurdly long time, so it becomes fairly useless in true emergencies. For simple cases like this, it works fairly well. I send over a few cultures, a blood draw and a scan of her chest for the doctor to look at and diagnose.

With a shot of antibiotics and a script for a syrup to help with a cough, I send the little girl and her mom on their way. As I'm doing a clean up of the room they were in Kari comes rushing in with a harried look in her eyes.

"He's here." She says simply and with no need to elaborate who _'he'_ is.

I huff and close my eyes tightly, my good mood going right out of the window. "Any idea what he wants?"

I open my eyes and roll them when I see her horrified expression. Like it was horrifying to her that I even _suggested_ she try and ask him what he wanted. So I shove past her and make my way out into the waiting room, but Eric isn't there.

Devon points the office and then the nerves hit. I was hoping he would stay out in the open here in the waiting room where I wouldn't have to be alone with him. Which is probably exactly why he went into that office.

I groan quietly at this realization before determination sets in and I grit my teeth and give myself a short internal pep talk. I push my shoulders back and walk into the office with as much of a calm and uncaring demeanor as I'm capable of pulling off right now.

Eric is sitting behind the desk and has a file in his hands with a few others laid out in front of him and with his feet propped up on the desk. He looks way too at home in the place I consider my domain, for my liking. That calm demeanor snapped straight out of the window. I slam the door and put a hand on my hip as I glare at him.

"Did something happen to the staples? One pop out of place or something?"

He looks up from the file in his hand and smirks. "Nope. They're still intact." He tilts his head and that infuriating smirk gets wider. "Sorry if that ruins your hope for getting my shirt off again. Although, if you ask nicely enough…."

I sputter and glare at the gall of the man. "Hate to burst your ego but that was the furthest thing from my mind."

Mentira! As soon as he said it, that's all I wanted.

I walk closer and shove the feet he has propped up on the desk off then go to snatch the file in his hand away. He jerks it back and makes a tutting noise.

"Leaders have full and complete access to any and all data or files." The smirk is gone though his words are full of it.

"What do you want, Eric?" I snap at him.

"I looked at your personnel file," He states simply, putting the file down he was reading and I get a good look at it for the first time.

This one isn't my personnel file but the one I have full of my proposals and requests for the clinic from over the last few years. I frown at that and his statement trying to connect the two and my tangle of thoughts.

"Okay?"

"You haven't taken part of the yearly physical training and assessments yet. In fact, you didn't for last year either."

I sigh tiredly and rub the back of my neck. "Eric, I don't know if you've noticed or if you even care, but the clinic is running on a tight budget and limited staff. Most of the people qualified to do the things beyond basic aid are Erudite, and they are only here for eight hours of the day. Those hours are early ones that most of the people in Dauntless aren't even awake for half the time, not to mention they aren't here on weekends. Patrol medics have to come from somewhere and the weekends that takes them from the small staff we have here. I guess it isn't surprising you don't know this considering any and all requests I've made are either rejected out of hand or just ignored. _Perdóname_ if I don't make it into _maldito_ training when I'm too busy stitching up or setting bones for everyone else who is able to."

Eric starts tapping his fingers on the table, his jaw clenched and looking around. He stands and grabs the file he was looking at before he turns his cold eyes on me. "Follow me."

I've probably pushed my luck just once too often with him while I was unloading my anger and frustration. In fact, I'm sure of it as he stomps to the door and rips it open, then stalks out. I can hear him barking something to Devon and Kari but not what. I scramble to grab my bag, just in case I need it, and follow after him. Both of the staff are looking at me with worried eyes but they make no moves to say anything or help.

They couldn't help even if they tried to be honest.

I follow after Eric but he stops at some point and waits for me to catch up to him. "You might be short on staff but I can't excuse missing the training. I especially can't excuse missing the assessment. Normally, you would need to do it with one of the qualified staff, and during their hours, but that isn't going to work, obviously." He pauses in speaking even as we are walking and glances over at me. "So, I'm going to take that on myself. We'll be starting with weapons at the firing range today. You won't need to change into workout clothes for now, but I _will_ expect you to have some on you for when we next train."

My fists are clenched at my side as I walk beside him. There is a tiny part of me that's thrilled with this development while the majority of me is pissed at being dictated to like this.

I bite my lip and decide to pick my battles.

Eric's right and the reason for the lapse in training doesn't really matter. Here in Dauntless, it is expected and the standard unspoken rule is you _always_ make time for training.

We don't go right to the gun range.

First, we stop by his office where he deposits the file on top of his desk. I immediately know I'm never going to see it again and am thankful I have backups of all the information on my laptop.

His desk seems to be one big pile of paperwork. Organized piles, but still.

The desk has a towering stack of files in a tray with a label indicating they still need to be looked over and a matching stack of ones that have the label indicating they are complete. It would take counting each one to know which one has more as they seem to be at the same level.

I don't know what he intends to do with my file but I have a feeling it's just going to get shoved in with one of those enormous stacks and get lost.

I do feel a tinge of pity that he seems to be swamped with work.

I guess I never really wondered what it's like for any of the leaders. Tori never complains, and that isn't something Four is likely to do either. I just always looked at the power they hold along with the perks that come with holding that position, and never considered what needed to be done behind the scenes. Logically I know there is work, but I never considered they would be as buried under as it appears he is.

"Is that always like that?" I ask as I wave towards his desk. Eric unlocks a cabinet at the back of the room and starts pulling out things.

He glances at me and then to where I'm indicating and shrugs. There is a tiredness that etched itself onto his face for just a second before it's gone just as quickly to be replaced by a slight scowl. "It's usually worse."

I frown as my eyes wander over the file names, reading them quickly and seeing that some of the labels are things I would think would be taken care of someone else. "So why don't you have an assistant or something to help?"

"You aren't the only one that has to deal with budget cuts and short staff, Devi. We have the same issues up here. Everyone thinks it will be such a fucking cakewalk to work in leadership or as one of the assistants. Then they get a face full of reality and we find out they aren't cut out for it and have to find someone else or do without."

I should feel ashamed of my words to him earlier but leadership could at least explain that to their departments. Especially ones that are so vital to the faction.

"I didn't know," I start out saying then narrow my eyes at him when he snorts and is probably about to make some smart ass comment. "That could be solved by someone just telling us all this." I wave again but this time between the desk and him. Making it clear I'm meaning him specifically.

It turns out he had been pulling out his handguns. Now he started to slip those into holsters he had on his hip and thigh after checking them. "Would it have made any difference if we had? Knowing that we have little in the way of budget to work with and even less staff?"

I put my hand on my hip and frown while looking down slightly. "Of course. That would have been much better than thinking I've been ignored for the last three years."

I glance back up briefly but quickly look away and blush when I realize how hurt my tone sounded and I caught the flicker of something in his eyes as he caught it too. Eric came closer until he is standing right in front of me. He reaches out a hand and uses his fingers to gently grip my chin and raise my head until I'm looking him in the eyes once again.

"Devi, _you_ were never ignored." He says softly while he runs his thumb over my lips lightly then drops his hand along the soft expression in his eyes and sighs. "Circumstances have had my hands tied until recently. We're working to make up for everything the previous leaders did to destroy the faction."

I nod when his eyebrow raises, seeming to ask if I understand, but can't find the words to reply. I don't trust my voice to speak because of the fluttering in my stomach. It seems good enough for him and he moves to the door, holding it open for me to pass through first before closing it behind him. He sets a brisk pace but not one I'm unable to keep up with. Soon we are entering into the gun range.

The people in the gun range at the moment look at us curiously as we pass. A few of the guys I know from their frequent visits to the clinic, and they start to wave or smile at me. They stop immediately and turn away quickly after a glare from Eric.

He sets us up about as far away from everyone else as he can get while still being in the same room.

It's clear any and all focus is going to be put on me and he isn't going to tolerate any kind of distractions or interference. I found out it's entirely possible to be in a large room full of other people and activity and it still feels like I am completely alone with Eric.

This just ramped up my nerves that were already frazzled.

It's also obvious that my lack of training has clearly affected my aim. Something he's all too quick to point out, rather gleefully, and then insisted on physically correcting me while informing that my performance is so abysmal that he might as well start me out like he would a beginner.

That's about how the next two hours progress, with him acting as if I've never even held a gun. He has been pressed against me, or at least uncomfortably close, almost the entire time. Shoving me this way or that. Pressing his legs between mine to correct my stance or wrapping his entire top half around mine while he stands behind me.

He also won't shut up!

He keeps assaulting me with question after question. When I said something about it, snapping out that I didn't realize he had so many words in his vocabulary, he just grinned wickedly and said he's just testing my ability to maintain my skill through distractions and then continued on.

He spent the next hour or so grilling me about anything from my life in Amity before I transferred all the way up to my life now, my friends and things I do with them.

 _"You said you were considered the perfect Amity. Why did you transfer if you were happy there?"_

 _"You never wondered how you were able to kill chickens? I mean come on that had to be a red flag right there."_

 _"How often did you find a wild horse beyond the fence?"_

 _"Did you really spend that long out of the fence on those trips?"_

 _"How did you get into healing if you worked with animals?"_

 _"How can working with animals and their recovery be compared to a person?"_

 _"Explain all this massage and herb therapy crap. I don't get why it is such a big deal or help."_

 _"Are you actually friends with your roommate, because I remember her being in our initiation and never saw her talking to you?"_

 _"How did Lynn end up in your circle of friends?"_

 _"So, you aren't all that close to Number Boy?"_

 _"You dance? Where do you go?"_

On and on the interrogation went, and all while he's physically distracting me as well.

Between the verbal and physical invasions going on, I quickly become exhausted. By the end of the two hours, I reach the end of my patience.

It's when the questions start to get slightly more personal and trying to pry into past relationships, that it snaps completely. I start responding in sarcasm and Spanish.

Eric just looks amused while his hands start to do things along my back and hips and I realize that I've only been speaking in Spanish for the last thirty minutes of that time and Eric understood every word, even if he only responded back in English.

"Alright, we're done here for the night." He says, stepping back abruptly after having just been brushing his fingers down my neck while his breath tickled my ear. "Let's go to the mess hall and get dinner."

I watch as he holsters the gun and let out a frustrated puff of air while calling him every kind of bastard I can in my mind. I can't decide if I want to turn around and slap him or push him against the wall and relieve all this frustration he's built up in me.

The first one I dismiss, because even I am not loca enough to slap a leader, and definitely not _this_ one.

 _There is still the second option._

I snort quietly and shake my head, dismissing that. I'll just need to find another way to relieve this frustration because there is _no way_ it's happening with Eric.

My plans for the night flash in my mind suddenly. Hair from my ponytail came loose at some point during Eric's pawing at me and has fallen in my face. I shove some of the hair back from my face and start to grin then look at Eric as he finally faces towards me after cleaning up our area.

I flash a smug smile at him as I shake my head then grab my bag up. "Thanks, but no thanks. I have plans for the night already."

"Plans?" Up until my statement, he had been wearing his own smug smirk after stepping back and seeing how flushed I was. That smirk drops as soon as I shoot him down. His eyes move over me cooly but then he just gives me a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Cancel them then."

His tone is so fucking flippant and as if he's presumming this would be what is _obviously_ going to happen.

I let out a scoffed laugh. "No. I don't think so. I'm meeting up with my girls for drinks and dancing before Lynn goes back out on patrol rotation."

"Your girls, huh?" He drawls slowly while narrowing his eyes and looking me over slowly before his eyes meet mine.

We spend the next few seconds in a stare off and I think he might be waiting for me to back down and just go along with him.

 _Clearly, he has learned nothing about me._

Then he surprises me by shrugging casually and gives a small nod of acceptance. "Okay. Just remember what I said though and be prepared for me at any time, little one."

I ignore the flush of warmth at his nickname for me and narrow my eyes.

He's up to something. I know it. But whatever is going behind those blue eyes of his is a mystery. I just know there is an intensity to him that makes me want to lick my lips and return the action of looking him up and down like he just did me. It's so strong that it makes me whip around instead and sashay my ass out of there as fast as possible.

"Will do, Sir!" I toss over my shoulder to him with a grin.

His chuckle after seemed to follow me for the entire walk to my apartment. It sounded like more than just a laugh or simple amusement.

It was dark, rich, and raspy. Like it held a promise of something to come.

Something that shouldn't have my nipples going hard or my knees going weak. But it did and I think I knew then that I am well and truly fucked.

* * *

"Damn! You _are_ going all out tonight." Lynn says as she looks me over and walks further into my bathroom where I'm still getting ready.

I'm already dressed, other than my chosen heels for the night, but I'm putting the final touches on my make up. I smile at her through the mirror and lean over the bathroom sink and counter to get closer to the mirror so I can swipe the mascara on in a way that it won't clump the eyelashes together.

"Damn straight," I finally reply to her then quickly finish with the other eye.

I put my makeup down and step back to take a look at myself in the floor length mirror on the other wall, turning this way and that to get a better look.

I wouldn't say that I don't dress up when we go out, but I don't usually go all out like I am tonight. Most of the time I'm wearing something a bit more relaxed. Like the other night, my dress was just a simple black dress; long sleeved and with a slightly rounded neckline that went to just above my knees and had a tiny slit on the right side. It was just the right amount of casual and sexy. Something I threw on right after work and used my new shoes to add spice and color to the mix. I didn't even do anything with my makeup or hair really other than fixing my ponytail and adding a bit of lip gloss.

Something about tonight seemed to call for a bit more….well, everything. Something a bit more...Dauntless...and daring.

I left my hair down tonight and let it fall into my natural waves, but added a little product to smooth the hair and make it slightly shiny. My lipstick is a wicked red color and I lined my eyes so that the chocolate brown looks a bit more sultry. I have the same shade of red on my finger and toenails that I used for my lipstick.

My shorts are a little shorter and my cleavage a little more revealed than I would normally display.

The outfit is almost all black in color. The top is a deep v-neck silk wrap top that I have to tape down to make sure the sides stay in place and I don't ending up flashing everyone since I'm not wearing a bra underneath. I have that tucked into the black silk shorts that provide me full coverage of the assets...my ass...but mold to it nicely.

To add some color, and to break up the black and highlight my waist, I added a wide belt made of silver metal that is thick enough to draw attention to the waist and what I consider my best feature, my butt.

The real feature of the outfit is my shoes.

As always they are high heels, four inches, but the style is a roman sandal with leather straps that go all the way up to the knees. I sit on the toilet to slip those on and secure all the little black leather straps.

Lynn has her arms crossed over her chest and is shaking her head at me with a knowing grin.

She knows this look. This is my going out to get mine, look. When I'm feeling sassy and sexy and want to let loose.

"Well, let's go then. Did you eat something?" She frowns at me worriedly while I pop my lipstick into my clutch purse that already has my keys, phone, and some protection (in case I get lucky) in it.

"Yes, mami. I had a grilled cheese when I got home."

Lynn rolls her eyes but chuckles and shrugs. "Well, that's better than nothing. We can just order some bar food when we get there."

I sigh but admit that's a good idea. I don't do well with drinks if I haven't had anything too substantial to eat.

Lynn has a reputation for being hard, and she definitely can be, but we both have the habit of being the _'mothers'_ for our group of friends. We're the ones that usually make sure everyone doesn't completely overdo it and that they make it home at the end of the night.

So, I would have normally heard something from her about what happened to me, but I guess since she knows I'm now dealing with Eric, she also figures I have enough torture ahead of me.

 _If she only knew._

Sadie was waiting for the two of us in our living room while our other two friends that said they could make it, Vera and AJ, already headed over to the club to get us a place.

Vera is currently dating the guy that manages the bar we are going to tonight and managed to sweet talk him into setting aside one of the balcony areas that overlook the dance floor. Those spaces are usually reserved for officers and leaders in the extremely popular club, so it was a surprise when she messaged us earlier saying she managed to get us a spot.

This will be a treat, because normally we grab whatever spots are available on the lower level and pray there is enough seating. There never is.

We head out and talk as we go, catching up on what's going on with each other along the way. Once we reach the club we spot the section Vera told us we would be at and can just faintly make her out waving at us from there.

I stick close to Lynn who seems to have this ability to make the crowds just kind of move for her with little to no effort, and in no time we're across the already full dance floor and at the stairs. We quickly pass the guy that serves as a guard that makes sure no one gets up there that isn't supposed to.

The upper level is amazing and has a very polished look to it while the lower levels seem to go with a raw kind of approach to decorations. There are already other groups gathered in their own little lounges that we pass on the way to where our group is set up at the far end.

I slide onto the seat of one of the sleek black couches and take in our set up. There is a huge lighted table in the shape of a cube that alternates colors sitting in the center of the L shaped sectional and a collection of four arm chairs in dark red of the same material of the couch. On the table itself there are a few buckets filled with ice. Two of them have a bottle of a wine of some kind and the other two have juice. I reach forward and deposit my clutch onto the table and reach for a bottle, examining it and raising an eyebrow when I see that it's a sparkling white wine from Amity. One that is very popular and is usually reserved for trade with anyone of the factions that wants it. Erudite is very fond of it and is known to be the one to buy it up after each production year.

I raise my eyebrow at the bottle while looking over at my friend in question. Vera just giggles then shrugs. The pulsing music of the club can still clearly be heard but it's not so overwhelming up here that we can't hear each other talking.

"Blaine said they're for us, so I guess he just wants to make sure we have a good time. It's one of your favorites right? That wine from Amity?"

I shrug with a smile and start to crack it open but Lynn glares at me and slaps my hand away. "Food for all of us first before we start downing this." She grabs it from me and shoves it back into the ice bucket.

"Oh good idea!" Sadie coos and then eyes the bar, more specifically the bartender, on this level. "I'll just go order us some snacks." She is already up and waggling her fingers at us before I can even tell her what I want.

"Ash is here." AJ says as she comes up from dancing on the floor with some guy she's decided is going to be her date for the night. "I told him we're up here."

"Thanks." I reply with a smile and look around.

The club is amazing and has always been my favorite here. That might be because it was the first club I ever went to in Dauntless.

I always loved dancing back in Amity.

They would have days filled with music out on the open fields. Nights where we all just got together and danced with the stars and moon shining down on us.

I would drink and dance my ass off. Then I would go off somewhere with Vicente. We would spend hours more just touching each other or later on as I got older, making love. It's hard to not be bitter after I realized that all of that was drug induced.

At the dances where all the young but of age were encouraged to attend, they served drinks laced with shit that I can't even stomach the name of now. It wasn't bad enough to be on peace serum all the time but they also gave us other things. I didn't know that back then. It wasn't until I got to Dauntless that I was informed about what I was exposed to and what it did to me.

It tainted all of those memories for me. Even the relationship with the man I had hoped to marry. It made me question how much of it was real and how much was the drugs.

After getting through initiation and becoming a member, I resisted going out. Still bitter and upset about so much of my previous life. Doing anything that was remotely similar to my old life was out of the question. I worked and went back to the apartment I shared with Sadie, refusing attempts to be friends or hang out with anyone.

I knew it was fear holding me back. Facing your fears in sims doesn't make them go away, it just makes you super aware of them.

So I knew that I was afraid to get close to anyone but I was also afraid that I wasn't able to get close to anyone or love them. Afraid that everything from my life in Amity, who I was, had been fake. Tori brought me out of that and said I wouldn't know if I didn't try. Was I Dauntless enough to do that? Of course I couldn't back down from her challenge.

So, one night I got dressed up and found myself standing in Club Onyx for the first time.

It's a literal cave. Stalagmites and stalactites can be found everywhere. The ceiling is high enough up that at places it disappears into the dark. The walls are mostly the natural stone of the cave, but in other places it's smoothed out to make way for different decorations, furniture or built in rooms, like the restrooms.

I'm told there are little nooks and crannies all over the place that people like to go and explore. Tori once said there is some type of water in one of them, a grotto she called it. I haven't explored the big cavern yet so I haven't discovered if that's true or not for myself.

The club is a cross between the primal aspect that defines Dauntless and the tech and polished aesthetics from Erudite. That means it has lights, sounds systems, and other little luxuries that make it easier to let go and enjoy.

I enjoyed myself so much that first time. I found my rhythm again and danced long into the morning hours with Tori. Since then, I love to come back here when I can.

Ash finds us just as Sadie comes back with a smirk and a drink. She informs us the food will be here shortly. I pour myself out a glass but at a look from Lynn, I also add some of the juice that was in another bucket being chilled.

I sip my drink and laugh along with the others as we talk over the music. The food is delivered by the bartender, who then joins Sadie. Now we all have partners to dance with. Even Lynn called in one of her girlfriends to be with her tonight.

I can never go right into dancing. I'm not sure why this is, but I always have to have at least a drink before I feel relaxed enough to let go. Tonight it seems to take more for me to be loose enough, and I draw it out by eating and talking with Ash or the others when they make their way back to us.

If he's picking up on how I'm even more nervous than usual he doesn't say. We just talk and catch up, comfortable enough with that and each other, that it isn't awkward at all. Even when he brings up Eric.

"So I hear Eric is breathing down your neck." Ash says with concern.

I almost choke on the mouthful of wine I had but managed to gulp it down and breathe again.

"Where did you hear that?"

"I had to go to the administration offices to get some paperwork settled for a new patrolman being assigned to my unit and heard some chatter about Eric being after you or something like that."

 _Oh, he's after me alright._

I wave my hand causally and dismiss that thought as well as Ash's worry.

"I missed the last few assessments and he's having to handle it. No big deal." I down the last bit of my drink and plop the glass on the table then reach for his hand. "Let's dance," I say even as I start to stand, wobbling only a little, and tug him up with me.

He doesn't protest and soon we've made our way to the dance floor. I enjoy myself, I do, but something about Ash's hands feel off. I can't help this uneasy feeling that surges up every once in a while.

Normally, I can lose myself in the music and have no qualms about Ash being close or touching me. Ash even notices and asks me if I'm feeling okay. I just tell him I'm fine but that I need another drink. So we go back up to the lounge and he gets a few drinks from the bar for us. Once I have that downed, I drag him back onto the dance floor.

It seems to work and I dance until my feet can't stand it anymore. He almost has to carry me back up to the balcony and the couch, where I plop down laughing and into his waiting arms.

I'm drunk and headed to well past drunk, but I really don't care at this point.

"Wanna get out of here?" Ash asks as he leans in close to my ear brushing some of the hair away from it with his fingertips.

I giggle a little and nod. "Yeah, I just wanna go freshen up first."

"Okay." Ash agrees and helps to push me up from my seat, chuckling a little as I groan when my feet throb a little.

He makes a comment about the dangers of wearing such high heels that I ignore after a playful glare over my shoulder at him.

"Be right back," I say and then weave my way to the bathroom.

The one on the balcony is occupied with a few girls waiting outside for it. I decide to not wait and go down to one of the ones on the main floor that I found a while back that is usually empty. It has two stalls with a well-lit vanity area that I would think would make this a popular bathroom, but it's well away from the dance area so maybe that's why it isn't packed like the others always are.

I take care of nature's call first. Grateful that the toilets in places like this are nothing like the ones in the dorm or training room from when I first came to Dauntless. You need a shot just to prevent diseases from being near those.

I finish quickly and wash my hands then can't resist using the vanity to check my lipstick and makeup. I'm so absorbed in finding my lipstick and reapplying it that I don't notice the door opening, but I definitely hear it closing. And I definitely hear the lock being flipped.

The first, brief, thought I have is that someone's decided to use this as a place to be intimate so for a few seconds I don't get worried. It isn't until the feeling I've had, but denied, all night surges through me with a vengeance. The one that felt like I was being watched. The one that had the hair on the back of my neck standing at attention and my senses buzzing. Only this is much worse and it finally gets my attention enough to turn to look out of the little vanity area that is in its own little nook.

Eric is standing there, leaning against one side of the archway, and the expression on his face makes my legs tremble slightly while I swallow heavily.

Eric Coulter isn't an expressionless, emotionless robot but at times it certainly seems that way. But there are times when that mask breaks. I've always thought that the reputation he earned, even as far back as our initiation, didn't come from the cold, calculating and the ruthless man he can be, but from these moments when whatever he is feeling is unrestrained and intense, overwhelming even.

The expression he is wearing now isn't far off from one that I've seen before when he lost it on someone but I haven't seen that since our initiation. His forehead is screwed up in wrinkles while his jaw is gritted and his lips turned into a scowl. He's breathing hard, chest heaving, and his vein in his neck is pulsing as his fists clench and his muscles bunch up. That too is something I've seen before when he unleashed his body and showed just how lethal it can be.

I've seen all this before. I've just never been the one it's all directed at.

"Just drinks with the girls, right?" He advances on me, all sinuous menace and the words are a hiss.

Despite the feeling that I just want to melt into the floor, I don't let myself. He's a beast. I've tamed larger and more powerful than him. I raise my chin and stand my ground.

"What business it of yours what I do with my free time? Yes, I'm having drinks with my girls and having fun. I never said there wouldn't be others involved."

Standing my ground means that I also didn't move and he was on me in seconds. My butt hits the counter of the vanity as he brackets me in with his hands gripping it on the sides of my hips. He leans in so close that I can smell the aftershave he must have used before he got dressed for the night.

Dios ayúdame is the man dressed.

He's wearing a black skin-tight, short-sleeved shirt with a v neck that clings to his skin so much that I can make out the muscles of his abdomen underneath it. It tapers in so that his waist is clearly defined by the belt showing since it's tucked into black jeans that might as well be painted on him. They look to be barely containing the things he calls legs.

All of that is definitely drool-worthy but it's not what has my mouth salivating and going dry at the same time. It's his arms and those fucking veins that are pulsing. It's the bunching of the muscles of his forearms up into his biceps. It's the sound of his hands rubbing against the stone of the countertops as he grips them tighter.

It all made me want to lick my way up his arm, starting from his tattoos, until I reach his neck and then down the other until I reach….well….

If at all possible, his breathing goes even more ragged and his chest rumbles in a growl. "I'm not happy, at all, little Devi. You're fucking drunk again." He hisses and moves even closer making me gasp and flush. "And you let him _touch you_.

His powerful thigh shoves its way between mine, opening my legs. Much like he did at the firing range but this time he's facing me and it brushes up against my bare thighs, pressing into the silk shorts I'm wearing.

I let out a moan and reach out to grab his shirt, pulling him even closer. He finally lets go of the counter and uses one of his large, rough hands to grip the back of my neck after moving until the curtain of my hair.

"What am I going to do with you, Devi?" He growls out the question.

And it _is_ a question.

Said in a tone that lets me know he's at a loss for what to do, maybe even at the end of whatever control he is trying to keep right now. That and the drinks make me much braver than I would ever normally feel. It has me feeling smug even, knowing that I'm the one doing this to him. That I have the unshakable mountain of arrogance and confidence feeling unsettled, unsure.

"Take me home with you, Eric," I demand forcefully.

As the words come out I feel a brief moment of astonishment. But yes. This is what I want. I wanted it all day when I've relived the kiss. I wanted it last night when I touched myself thinking of him and what could have happened in that exam room. I wanted him even more as he touched and teased me at the gun range.

 _Dammit, I want him and I will get what I want!_

The grip on the back of my neck tightens even more and the rumble in his chest deepens before he shoves away from me. He steps back, his eyes a little wild, and runs a hand through his hair.

I bite my lip and start to step forward, to press the advantage I feel I have but stop as soon as I see the change in him. He was looking down for a second, just one second, but that was all it took.

The wild out of control Eric is gone. He is back to the cold and calculating one. Wearing a wide smirk and his head raises.

"Okay." His tone is a strange combination that I can't even describe. All I know is it sends both anticipation and worry through me.

Then he steps forward again and that heat I felt just yesterday envelops me making me feel nothing but raw hunger and need. He grabs my wrist and starts to lead me out. This time he barely takes into account my height as he sets the pace. It takes us no time to make it from the almost empty area the bathroom was in to the overcrowded dance floor and bar set up.

Some rational thinking kicks in and I realize I need to let someone know what's going on.

"I have to tell my friends…"

"They'll figure it out." He interrupts me with a smirk and looks over his shoulder a little.

I crane my neck and look to see that a few of my friends are on the dance floor and looking at us with wide eyes. Ash is one of them.

I send him an apologetic smile and then gasp when Eric jerks me back around. This time he pulls me completely against his side and wraps his arm around my waist. He all but picks me up and carries me the rest of the way out of Club Onyx.

I debate telling him I changed my mind but the drunken loss of inhibitions doesn't allow me. My drunkenness is mortifyingly confirmed when I almost twist my ankle twice and finally my legs almost buckle while trying to keep up the pace he set.

Eric stops me from falling with a curse and whips me up into his arms, bridal style, without even really breaking stride. A strong moment of deja vu stops me from protesting as a faint and hazy memory emerges.

The memory a night when Eric caught me in his arms and held me close, refusing to let me down. Pleasure and warmth from the memory add the desire.

"You could have taken me home that night. I wouldn't have minded then. Why didn't you?" I ask as we walk and he's keeping his eyes on the dark and winding path out of the part where the Club is housed.

"I told you before. You were drunk and I don't take advantage of drunk girls, no matter how fucking tempting they are." At this last part, he turns his head towards me. I see his blue blazing with the same hunger I'm feeling.

I can't speak for what I think is only for a few seconds. It turns out to be much longer because he had long ago looked away and now we're in front of a door. He glances at me with a frown as he lowers me to my feet. As soon as they touch solid ground he pulls me tight to his side again. Once he has me tucked in like he wants me, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out keys. He almost kicks the door in before he ushers me through and I hear it slam behind as he does kick it closed.

He moves us so fast I barely notice anything about his apartment other than it is definitely an apartment. He rushes me through the living area and into a dark bedroom. He flicks on a light switch and finally releases his hold on me.

"Wait here." He demands and then disappears back out of it. He's back again before I have time to get my bearings or even move, holding something black in his hands. He moves past me into another dark room that is revealed to be a bathroom when he flicks on that light.

I frown and take a step when I hear what must be the faucet running and cabinets being opened and slammed shut. He comes back out with a scowl on his face.

"There are pills on the counter. Take those and drink the water. Get a shower and I left a shirt for you to put on to sleep in."

My jaw drops a little and I shake my head in confusion. "What?"

He advances again and takes my clutch from me. He roots around in it, takes my keys and the phone, then pockets them both before tossing the whole thing to the side on a chair in the room.

He then jerks me against his body and crashes his mouth against mine. Our teeth gnash against each other as we both let loose the hunger we're feeling. By the time he releases me from the kiss I'm panting and spinning.

Not all of it from the kiss either.

He steadies me and scowls as he holds me close. "It won't be when your drunk or have even had anything to drink, Devi. I want you, but I won't have you like this."

I have to lay my head on his chest due the spinning, dizziness and burning of tears in my eyes. "So why bring me here dammit."

"Because the fucking thought of you out there like this is enough to drive me to want to hurt someone. I wouldn't care if they were a friend of yours or not. I want you in with me in my bed, but I don't trust myself enough to even allow that right now. This is my spare room. In here, I'll know you're safe from me and everything else."

Something about that touches me and I sigh out his name. I let out a shuddering breath and his arms circle around me. The embrace is comforting and claiming all at the same time. It ends too soon though because he pulls back and lifts my chin once more to look at him. "I said you are different and if you can remember this in the morning, maybe you will see I'm proving that to you."

He places a small gentle kiss to the tip of my nose and then gently pushes me towards the bathroom. I walk in and look at him over my shoulder as I grab the door to close it. The wild look is back. So is the chest heaving and clenched fists. I hesitate to close it but he shakes his head and backs away.

"Tomorrow, Devi. I'll be here when you wake up tomorrow." Then it seems like he melts into the darkness and I hear the door to the room click.

I close the bathroom door and lean against it.

The mirror in front of me shows the reflection of a girl I don't even know right now. Who is this girl that's feeling hunger like I have never felt before.

It's almost like I'm the old me. The one from back in Amity that lived and loved with such wild and passion.

Was it always there and the serum just brought it, and only it, forth? Is that what Eric is to me now? Some kind of drug that brings out a side I thought I might have lost forever.

All the questions and events of the night have my mind spinning.

There isn't an answer for me right now. The only way I can get one is to move forward and find out.

But, in the light of day will I remember this? In that harsh morning after light am I going to _want_ to find out as much as I do now?

I take the pills, drink the water, step into the shower and then put on the shirt that smells so much like Eric it makes me feel like I wrapped in his arms again. I almost think that I won't be able to sleep at all but it finds me sooner than I would have liked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: As the world turns...it still belongs to V Roth. I just added my E.L.E plots and watch everyone scramble. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Part 4**

There comes a time in a girl's life when she has to reevaluate things. Like when she wakes up for the second time in a week, hungover as hell, in place not her own, wearing clothes, not hers, and with no memory of how the fuck any of that happened.

Once again my friends have abandoned me.

I sit up in the bed I'm in and look around. The bed is comfortable like mine and the room is simply furnished. But that's where the similarities between my room and this one end.

There isn't much to go on here to give me any idea of where I might be. The only furniture in the room other than the bed, are two bedside tables, a dresser, and a small armchair. All the basic stuff that most apartments are furnished to start out with. The walls are bare and stark white. All the bedding and furniture are black. The curtains are black and keep out any light, making the room completely dark with only the tiniest sliver of the sun peeking through where the two curtains meet in the middle.

There is absolutely no personality at all in this room and it almost seems like it's never even used.

There are three doors in the room with two doors on one wall that I know will lead to the closet and bathroom. The wall that the head of the bed is against, is the one that has the door leading to the rest of the apartment. There is a bedside table between it and me and no sounds seem to be coming from the other side of it, so there's no hint for me there.

However, glancing in the direction of the door provides me some clue when I see on the nightstand a tall clear glass of water with a plate beside it where it looks like a few pills, hopefully, aspirin, are waiting for me. There also looks to be a small slip of paper beside it and that has me scooting from the center of the bed where I woke up and scrambling to pick up the paper and read what it says.

 _Take these. Drink that._

Whoever wrote the note, and left the water and aspirin, has way better penmanship than I do. It's small, neat and precise. Making me wonder if they used a computer to spit it out. Maybe I should hesitate to take pills left me by some unknown person, but even though I don't know where I am or who might be here, I don't feel unsafe. So, I do what the note instructs and then stumble my way to the door I think the bathroom is behind.

I flip on the light and have to blink for a second at it assaulting my sensitive eyes. It takes a second or two for my vision to clear, allowing me to get a good look at myself in the mirror. Not that I particularly care to look at what must be a complete mess.

My reflection is another surprise and mystery for me. I completely expected to wake up and find my makeup ruined and running over my face. Giving me raccoon eyes and a clown worthy smile. But my face is completely free of makeup. It also looks like my hair, definitely mused from sleep, was also recently washed because it looks to have dried while I slept too.

I panic for a second and run my hands over my body, but I already know that what I'm worried about didn't happen. If someone helped me wash up, it was completely non-sexual, or at the very least no actual sex took place. Of course, there probably isn't a way to know for sure until I find the person and ask them; but judging from the same frustrated, pent up feeling I started my night out with, I can pretty much guarantee nothing happened.

Between the pills, water and other signs I find as I look around the bathroom, I know whoever's place I'm at has at least been trying to make sure I'm okay and taken care of.

I smile and blush a little when I see a new tube of toothpaste and toothbrush, both still in their boxes, waiting for me next to the sink.

The clothes I had been wearing are neatly folded and on the bathroom counter right next to a new set of folded clothing. The new clothes are the normal nondescript workout clothes that most of the women in Dauntless wear. A black sports bra, tank top, and leggings. They are so generic that they could be mine or anyone else's for all know. And beside that is a pair of sneakers with a pair of rolled up socks stuck inside of one of them. Again, they could belong to anyone, but unless someone else likes to take their shoes off by pressing down the back of them because they can't be bothered to untie them, then these are definitely mine.

Another clue that lets me know this is all my stuff is the small, colorful burlap pouch that I hand painted and sewed together to hold makeup and toiletries, is on the counter beside the clothes.

So did I go and grab my stuff and bring it with me here to...wherever I am? If I did, why? And where is Ash at? Even if I decided not to hook up with him he still would have made sure I either got home or let me sleep it off at his place.

I put my hand on top the pile of workout clothes and feel the crinkle of paper and find another note written in the same precise handwriting with two words on it.

 _Wear this._

I feel the first bit of uneasiness filling and a nagging in the back of my mind that's trying to give me some clue as to who these notes are from. There is something about the bold script and tone of words that provides the clues that I'm simultaneously denying and dreading. But there's nothing I can do to change what's already happened. What I need to do is get answers. I can't do that unless I get my ass in gear.

I brush my teeth and root around in the pouch to see that it looks like someone just threw a few things I might need in there. There is some moisturizer, a couple of my hair bands to put my hair up, and deodorant.

I carry my club clothes out of the bathroom to find a bag sitting on the small armchair that I hadn't noticed earlier. Granted, it is the same deep black color that the chair is so in the dark it blended in. I would have completely passed it by if I hadn't spotted my heels on the chair as well. The bag turns out to also be mine. The one I carry to and from work. Its technically a leather purse but the style is that of a backpack. Big enough for me to shove an extra pair of scrubs in along with anything else that I might need during long days at work.

I feel a surge of relief at finding it and quickly grab it and unzip it to try and find my phone and hope I can get answers from it. I'm quickly disappointed though because all I see are things I normally keep it, minus the scrubs and also minus my phone and keys. My clutch is in there but when I opened it up all I find in it is lipstick and condoms. I scowl and shove my heels and clothes into the bag then work the zipper closed on the overfilled bag.

I look at the door that will lead to the rest of the apartment and hesitate. I can finally hear some kind of sounds coming from the other side and I know I'm going to need to face whatever...whoever...is out there.

 _Might as well get it over with._

As soon as I open the door the smell of food cooking and coffee brewing hits me full in the face. That smells inviting enough that I take the first few tentative steps forward into the hallway. Like my apartment with sade, the hallway to the bedrooms is short and really only has just enough room for the doors to the rooms. What wallspace there is that's free we filled with my artwork. Here it's crammed with bookshelves that are crammed with books.

This makes me pause to look over them with a frown. No one I know would have bookshelves filled to almost overflowing even if they are all organized neatly. Not even the person I had a niggling clue my mystery person could be would be someone to have this.

So who the hell did I end up going home with?

All hesitancy is gone. My temper at my carelessness is simmering and making me plow forward, only to stumble over my feet with a gasp when my body wouldn't stop the forward momentum I desperately wanted it to stop.

"You," I gasp out in surprise before I could stop the word from spilling out.

My eyes are locked on the man standing in the open and well-lit kitchen in disbelief as Eric turns from the stove with his hands full of plates. He takes one look at me and sighs, closing his eyes for a moment before he shakes his head and mutters something that I can't hear. He steps forward and motions with his head towards the island eating area.

"Going to go out on a limb here and say that you don't remember anything from last night, do you?"

My mind starts working overtime trying to figure out how Eric once again got involved in my night out.

I remember a few things. I remember not feeling as up to the night of dancing as I had been when I planned it. I remember the thought of dancing with Ash feeling wrong and a slight pang of disappointment that it wasn't going to be someone else I was dancing with. I also very clearly remember when things probably went downhill for me. When I realized that it was Eric's hands and presence I was craving; and that nothing and no one but him was going to do it for me. I decided a few more drinks would help me to get over that.

Big mistake.

He moves over to sit on one stool, leaving the one on the other side free, and it's clear that he means me to sit down and answer his question. I slowly do both. When my bag is on the floor, my butt is on the seat and my breath has found its way back into my lungs, I finally answer.

"It's all pretty much a blur," I reply without looking at him. I train my eyes on the plate he sits in front of me without really seeing what is on it.

"Well, that's just about par for the course." Even with the coldness, there is a weary undertone to it. I chance a look at him to see he's studying me with a frown. "Do you blackout every time you drink?"

I scowl at him, but it's really for myself as I shake my head and answer. "No. I do have a fairly low tolerance but I only have issues when I combine alcohol or overdo it."

He nods and the frown deepened. "Well, I'd say you hit both of those last night then. Should have stuck to the wine."

"You were there?"

He doesn't answer. Instead, he looks to my plate, pointedly. "Eat up. You're going to need energy for what I have in store for you."

I'm almost afraid to ask, especially with his lips twitching on the sides. "What's in store for me today besides work?"

"Oh, you aren't going to work." I immediately stiffen and go to protest but he stops me. "The weekend is over and the normal staff is back. Plus there are a few more being added to the rotation from now on. So the days you were supposed to have off from the clinic but didn't, you're getting them now. We will also be doing the training and assessments that should have already been done since you have the free time. "

I frown in confusion. "How is that possible?"

He shrugs and picks up his fork, answering while not looking at me. "Erudite owes us." There's something about the set of his shoulders and tone that tells me he's said all he's going to say on that.

With a sigh of resignation, I finally look down at my plate and really see what's on it. The wonderful smells turned out to be a spinach and cheese omelet with sides of sliced avocado and bacon. The food is surprising, delicious and a very welcome distraction.

It's also perfect hangover food and I dig in without speaking, sipping the coffee in between bites. It's not like I would really know what to say at the moment anyway. It doesn't stop my mind working hard trying to process everything while I eat.

Obviously, I'm in Eric's apartment. He got clothes for me in some way. I can only guess by using my keys that are missing? But why would he bother?

It's also obvious that he took care of me last night while being clear that nothing sexual happened. Again...why?

Why….to everything, but I find myself mainly embarrassingly wondering, why we didn't do anything? Does he just, not want me, and all of this is really him playing with Four or me or both of us?

"You think any harder and your head is going to explode. You're wincing. Did you know that? Every time a new thought enters into your mind, you wince. So why don't you just spit whatever it is out and stop killing yourself." Eric grumbles out after putting his fork down on to his empty plate.

He has his hands steepled over the plate and has his eyebrow raised while glaring me down.

I set my own fork down as well since my plate is just as empty as his. I raise my chin while my eyes narrow as I look at him.

I mean to demand where he got my stuff from and why my phone and keys are missing. I mean to demand them back and confirm that he didn't invade my privacy by rooting through my things at home. I mean to demand what right he thinks he has to have done any of that, to begin with, no matter that he's a leader of the faction.

That's what I mean to do but what happens instead leaves my skin hot and flushed with embarrassment.

"Why didn't we do anything last night? Do you even really want me, or is this just some bullshit game with Four? Because if it is, you can just stop. I would rather not be the pawn in whatever messed up game you've cooked up."

My jaw drops in astonishment and mortification at what spilled out of my mouth in a rush but I don't have time to really think on it and find a way to change direction because Eric is already in motion towards me. I didn't even get past the first question before he was standing and moving slowly around the counter towards me. His movements are fluid and casual but his expression is anything but.

His blue eyes seemed to have turned to the color of ice as they bore into mine and hold me completely paralyzed and barely able to turn my body to face him after he moved behind me.

"As I've told you before, twice now counting last night, it isn't my style to hook up with someone that is obviously drunk no matter who they are or how willing they might be."

I've heard the tone these words carry before. The hushed quiet one. The tone that you can equate to the sound of a blade being drawn from a sheathe.

All of Dauntless fears this tone and I would be lying if I said I'm not and have not been affected by it before. But how I was affected then is nothing like what's going on now.

Because there is a look in his eyes as he comes closer that shows me raw hunger. And the heat coming off his body sets me to fire, putting what I felt in the exam room to shame. I'm so paralyzed and captivated that I don't even realize he's moved me, turning my body for me to face him so that my back is now against the edge of the counter.

His eyes aren't the ice I compared them too. They're blue fire, an inferno is raging behind the gaze I can't break free from.

"Eric….I…" I gasp out when his breath hits my face and seems to trigger my own inhaling of the breath I hadn't been able to take.

His hand whips out to grab the back of my neck and he squeezes, firm and gentle until my head falls back slightly. He's so close that my legs just opened right up for him and he slipped in.

"No, you don't get to speak." He hisses out and stops me from continuing on. I don't even know if I would have been able to continue anyway. "Do you honestly believe that I would care enough to bring _just_ _anyone_ into my _home_? Do you think I would bother to take care of just anyone because they were wasted? I wouldn't, and you know that's true. I might make sure their friends were looking after them and they didn't kill themselves, but that's about the extent of the effort I would make."

While he speaking he uses the hand that isn't at the back of my neck, with the back of his fingers, to lightly brush over my neck. Slowly and teasing. My body arching into his touch and my nipples going hard as his skin made contact with mine.

He pauses in speaking and moves the hand up so that two of the pads of his fingers brush across my mouth, causing me to moan slightly. His eyes crinkle at the sides as a small smirk of pleasure tilts his lips and he changes the touch so that now it's his thumb brushing across my lips.

"Open up for me, little one." It's a raw, low command that has some dark part of my brain snapping forward at, following along. The nickname and command have me insanely aroused.

I open my mouth and he slips the thumb between my lips. What happens next happens on instinct, spurred on by the silent command in his eyes and I follow it again without hesitation while my eyes never leave his.

My mouth closes around his thumb, my tongue swirls around the tip and down the length and then I gently sucked. His nostrils flare and he gives a deep inhalation of breath as a rumble of pleasure sounds in his chest. He moves even closer until the thick and hard bulge of his thigh presses right up against the apex of legs. I was already burning and wet, wetter than I have ever been or ever thought I could be, but I was wrong. He presses firmly against me in a pulse and I feel like there is no way he won't notice the flood that must be pooling at my core, just as the immense heat seems to be as well. I suck deeper on his thumb and moan around it, plainly expressing just how good I'm feeling and what I want.

I'm not the only one showing that at least. If his eyes and groan didn't let me know then the outline of his bulge definitely does. His eyes are what hold my attention. They are wild looking with hardly any color left to be seen, just the black of his pupil. And when he speaks again, its pure gravel, full of ragged lust.

"You have no fucking clue how much I wanted you last night, little one." Between his breath fanning across my face and the low pulsing tenor of his words, I feel electrified. Like I could break apart at any second just from his words and presence alone. "You think this is a game," he pauses again and removes his thumb from my mouth but uses it to open it slightly while moving his face closer to mine. "That this has anything to do with number boy? You're wrong, Devi. This has always been about me and you. If you want to call it a game so be it. But be warned that I don't intend on losing."

Then he consumed me.

There's no other word for the kiss that followed that proclamation. The fire in me that won't back down from a challenge, ignited at those words. My hands reach up to his neck and claw at him. I can't tell you if it's to get him to stop or to make sure he never does.

A war is being waged between us with this kiss and the way his body is dominating mine. It's a war that I'm quickly losing and it makes me feel like much more than just a stupid contest of wills is in jeopardy here.

It feels like my heart and soul are in the line and it scares the ever loving shit out of me.

He breaks away from the kiss with a feral growl and shoves away from me. It so sudden and forceful that it leaves me quickly grabbing the sides of the stool to steady myself.

He backs up slowly, and I watch in fascination as the change takes place. First, he takes a step back and his breathing slows down. Two steps more and his eyes, that were so wild just seconds ago, start to focus back into his familiar cold blue ones. At three steps the emotionless mask that defines Eric is firmly back in place.

He doesn't say another word as he moves forward calmly and reaches for the two plates and cups on the counter. He busies himself cleaning up the remnants of breakfast and our dishes.

Meanwhile, I'm still hanging onto the stool for dear life and just trying to coax my heart from throat back into my chest and the air into my lungs.

After he has everything in his dishwasher and that started, he calmly tuns back to face me.

"Time to head out for training. We'll be doing a warm up, going out for a run and then heading to the training room to go from there. Lunch and dinner will be in the mess. Leave your bag here and we can get it after." His eyes light up and he smiles at me. A smile that's completely predatory in nature. "I have you for the next two days."

He walks past me and goes to the door while I'm left frozen. This isn't going to be good at all. I can just feel it.

* * *

I groan as I sink into the water of the bath and let out a ragged sigh of relief once I'm submerged fully under the hot water with the bath salts still dissolving in it. The last two days have been all kinds of torture for me. It was bad enough that I'm using my precious oils and salts to relieve the aching and stress my body has endured.

Eric took advantage of the last two days and rung every single second from it. From breakfast until a couple of hours after dinner, I've been with Eric.

I let the heat of the water work on my aching body and reflect over my time with Eric

The first day with Eric has gone exactly as he said and planned.

We warmed up with some stretches after getting outside of the gates that our transports use to leave the compound, and then went on a run that pretty much covered our entire sector. When we got back, he barely let me get water and a breather before we went to the training room or the torture chamber as I started to mentally call it, until lunch. After lunch in the mess hall, we went right back to it until dinner.

That's a total of over nine hours spent in a similar way as when we were at the gun range, where Eric apparently proved he has no concept of the words ' _personal space'_ at all. He continued to show me just how little he thought of the concept.

First, had been when we were working out. I went into that at least a little confidence because that _is_ one aspect I've been keeping up with.

At least twice a week I meet with my girls and we do about an hour of working out together. So I just knew this was at least something that he couldn't catch me out on. That he wouldn't be able to use it against me and need to get in my bubble to show me how wrong I was doing things.

That was promptly shot to hell.

My workouts, the workouts my friends and I blow through, are nothing to what Eric subjected me to after he had me tell him what my normal workouts consist of. I think he thought I was pranking him but when he saw my blush and figured out I was serious, well...the feared trainer he is to every initiate came out in full force.

There was one big change from how I know he is during initiation though. And that was when he would push me to do something that I would tell him was impossible or ridiculous, then he put himself through it right alongside me. I know for a fact that isn't his normal behavior and called him on it.

He told me that I was right, but he was showing me that he would never ask someone to do something that he didn't know they were capable of or that he wouldn't do himself. He said that it might take breaking them down to get them built back up, but it was all to make them stronger. It was clear he had every intention of doing that same thing with me.

He was going hard on me and that meant my temper flared on occasion because of that. But it was also because there was the added element of what happened every time our bodies came into contact. There was a charge of heat and electricity that was impossible to ignore and was so distracting that it would throw us both off. This seemed to upset him and he would just come at me harder.

He also still did the talking thing too. Which combined with the physical torture made it feel more like an interrogation. That was always going to have me reacting defensively. So, I started launching questions right back at him. To my surprise, he was answering.

Well, he mostly answered them. He wouldn't even acknowledge the ones that were a mirror of how personal he got with some of his for me.

By the time lunch rolled around I was at a breaking point and wondering if I really wanted to put myself through this again with Eric. My nerves were strung out from the aggressive pace Eric set to get everything that needed to be done in only two days. My sexual frustration levels were approaching nuclear meltdown mode, and my mind couldn't even handle the barrage of information being requested by Eric along with what he was giving me back.

Before we went to lunch I would have said that if I was given an out and another option of anyone else handling things, I would have leaped at the chance. That was until the opportunity arrived and it turned out, I didn't want to at all.

Eric and I went to the mess for lunch, just as he said we would. I expected to sit with my friends, but they were either already gone and back to work or not there at all. Eric was determined that I would be eating on the leaders level anyway and at least I knew Tori would be there.

I went into lunch a sore, grouchy, and bitchy mess. My hair all tangled and frayed on top of my head in a haphazard bun. My tank was still drenched in sweat and I'm sure I reeked from it too. I wouldn't say I looked worse than I ever did in initiation, but I had to be damn close. I know I was in just as foul of a mood as I had been back then.

Hunger won out over any issues I might have had about being dragged along with Eric, grumbling moodily the whole way, much to his amusement. We took seats beside each other and across from Tori.

She was looking at me and barely restraining her laughter, but I could clearly tell that she was doing this and it earned her a glare from me while I flipped her the bird.

That made her chuckle while she pushed food my way. Which I looked over and loaded up on once I saw that the selections for leaders seemed to be loads better then what the plebeians on the lower level are offered. There were few veggies available, but there was a bowl of roasted red potatoes that also had green beans tossed in a garlic butter sauce. I grabbed that and some grilled chicken while nabbing a few of the dinner rolls Tori pushed my way.

While I loaded my plate, Eric casually poured us both glasses of water from the big pitcher sitting on the table. When he slid mine towards me I accepted with a blush and noticed Four sitting on the other side of the table from me, glowering at Eric. I ignored him and concentrated on my plate. I knew I didn't have to worry about him starting anything with both Tris and Tori at the table.

Since Tris came along, Four had mellowed out a bit. He could still be a dick and a little overbearing when he had it in his head he needed to protect someone or he was worried about them. Personally, I always thought that he was in instructor mode all the time and didn't know how to turn it off. Talking to everyone like they were his initiates and needed to do his bidding. I knew from the first time I had Tris in a bed at the clinic that she wasn't going to be someone that would follow anyone blindly, and that underneath her quietness was a girl with a backbone. It was actually me bonding with her during her initiation that led to me and Four moving beyond old awkwardness from ours. But since they officially became more than just boyfriend/girlfriend, something they are keeping quiet for now, her closeness with me has prompted Four's protective instincts to make his alpha gene activate. I guess Tris looking at me all worried and asking if I was okay is what caused that to kick in and had him trying to interfere.

Oh, he didn't come right out and say, ' _Devi you need to do your testing with someone else other than Eric'_. In fact, he never even talked to me at all. He directed the conversation at Eric, reminding him of some important meetings and several proposals up for review, and was now really the time to take off for something he knew Zeke would be able to do with me? Wouldn't it be better for someone of my rank to be tested by Zeke anyway?

It was all masked as leader business but I saw it for what it really was. Four was interfering and trying to step in because he thought that dealing with Eric would be too much for me.

Before lunch, I was mentally complaining about everything and doubting that I could handle another second with Eric if it was anything like the morning had been.

Maybe it was to spite Four.

Maybe it was to prove something to myself, Eric, Four, and everyone else that had ever doubted me.

Or maybe it was all of that. All of that and Four's challenge of Eric and my, what I thought, right to be in Dauntless. It felt like initiation all over again.

Whatever it was had me slamming my fist hard down on the table. Dishes jumped and flatware clattered in all directions. The table conversation stopped along with the other tables on this same level that were around us. It's enough to know that attention is on me but I don't let that in. My only focus is Four as I let all of my ire and frustration come through in the way my eyes hold his when my action got his attention.

As mad as I am, I do remember that Four is trying to come from a good place. So I take a few calming breaths before I start talking finally.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't it say in the by-laws, that it is up to the Senior Leader of the faction to determine what training and when it is needed for _all_ standing members of the faction?" At times like this my accent is a little thicker, my voice just a bit huskier, and I speak slowly to make sure that I'm understood completely.

I've been told it makes me sound menacing but I don't see how. If it does though, then I welcome it right now.

Four's lips thin and his skin flushes because he knows I'm right. He might have been counting on the fact that most of Dauntless unless they are really involved of the running of the faction, aren't aware of details like that. I'm only aware of it because Eric informed me of this on our run. It took me worriedly questioning him if he would be in some kind of trouble for stepping away from all of that work I saw piled on his desk to do my training and testing. That was when he let that and another big fact drop.

Four doesn't answer me vocally, instead, Tori answers as she sees that Four isn't about to. I also see her glance Eric's way and I realize, with some surprise, that he's amazingly silent and has been this entire time. Like her, I guess I would have expected him to have some kind of snarky remark aimed at Four. I let myself glance over at him and while I do see his posture is even more rigid than usual, he isn't even looking at Four at all. He's looking at me, his face free of expression other than maybe curiosity.

Maybe he's just going to wait to see how this plays out. Let me fight my own battle here. Is it wishful thinking on my part to think that maybe he isn't stepping in because he knows I'm completely capable of handling this on my own?

"That's correct," Tori confirms and I look back to her, give a small nod of acknowledgment, then look back at Four as I can continue.

"Isn't it also correct, that because of my own position being considered in the ranked officer tier, only an officer of greater standing who also has the training sanction, can oversee my training and score me?"

Again Tori nods and I see Four's shoulders slump a little but I still carry on. This time I don't bother to phrase it as a question, just me stating a fact that he knows I definitely know now.

"It's also true that I brought this on myself by not doing the yearly required training and assessments that all members, but especially ranked ones, are supposed to go through. Two years automatically makes it so that the _Senior Leader_ is the only one that has any say about what I can do to correct something that could see me thrown out. So I have to ask Four, is that what you want? Would you like to see me thrown out?"

"You know I don't, Devi." He replies softly. I can hear the apology in his tone.

"Then you need to let me do this and not try to interfere again." I let my tone soften as well.

I knew where this was coming from on Four's part. I'm not completely overwhelmed with anger at him that I don't recognize a friend's worry. However wrong it may be of me, worry equals fear in my eyes. Fear that I'm weak. Fear that I don't belong.

And that causes me to feel fear that he might be right. That just like the life I left behind in Amity was a lie, my life here is a lie too. Instead of making me feel like running or denying the fear, I'm choosing to face it, to fight it, and to prove that fear wrong.

Four holds my eyes for a bit longer than I'm comfortable with, while he seems to be searching my expression for something but he finally gives me a nod and a small sideways smile. Beside him, Tris grins at him and they share a look that almost seems to me as if she's sending him a silent 'I told you so' message.

The table around us seems to let out a collective release of breaths as I glance over at Eric who just casually raises his glass of water and takes a drink, but not before I see a slight tilt of his lips in a smirk.

The rest of lunch is spent listening to the others talking shop about this or that. A tiny amount of annoyance at being ignored starts to take root in me even after I mentally remind myself that it's not like I ever really like to talk at the meals I'm able to hastily grab on occasion.

Which is why Tori probably just let me eat in peace. It takes Eric asking me a few things about the clinic to bring me out of the sulking I was doing about something I would usually be grateful for. It isn't until the end of the lunch when I realize that the questions he had and the conversation that took place was actually really pleasant.

More than that, I could tell that Eric hadn't just tossed aside that file he took from my office, but he actually paid attention.

This realization also brings forth the whispering in my mind that my calling Four out on his attempt to interfere wasn't all about proving him wrong it was also because deep down I didn't want it to end.

After lunch, it was right back to the training room and workouts until dinner time. There were no big surprises or confrontations. Just more of Eric's questions while touching and teasing me.

It wasn't until after a few more hours of training after dinner that Eric finally gave me my keys and phone back.

Explaining, reluctantly, as we stood in his apartment where I had to go to get my bag, that he had in fact used the keys to get my stuff from my apartment after trying to call Sadie first. But when he got to there, she was just getting back and grabbed it for him instead.

Eric even more reluctantly let me leave after I had my bag. I was so tired and felt like such a mess that I didn't bother to get mad about this, instead, I had all but begged him to let me go so I could just go home and get a shower and go straight to bed. He only let me go after giving me a warning threat that I better be in the training room by 0700. If he had to come to find me it wasn't going to be a pleasant day.

I didn't bother with a bath that tempted me for a second. Instead, I just did a quick shower, took the aspirin Sadie shoved at me and then crawled into bed. I passed out grateful that my mind and body were agreeing with my need for blessed sleep.

It didn't stop the dreams though. A crazy and tangled combination of dreams that I woke up unable to remember many details on other than Eric was in them and that they left me feeling just as confused as I had spent most of the previous day feeling.

The next day, today, was even more intense. Trying to cram what normally is spread out over a week into two days means that Eric set a brutal pace and had even harder expectations of me.

We finished the weapons portion of the testing first thing in the morning and then went into a short warm up before the run. This time the run was through an obstacle course that saw me climbing, jumping, rappelling, crawling, and balancing across a variety of different obstacles. That closed out the first part of my morning and lunch was again in the mess hall at the leader's table.

This time there was no confrontation with Four because he wasn't even at the table. Neither was Tori for that matter. But Tris, Uriah, Marlene, and Zeke all were and I got a brief on what the last portion of the day would contain after Tris and Mar cast sympathetic looks at me.

Eric had saved the best for last.

While I wasn't being asked to have a ranked fighting match, I still had to prove I know what I'm doing against an opponent. I don't know if it was really because no one else was available or just because Eric wasn't willing to let anyone in on this at all, but it was made clear I would be going against him.

I had been seriously concerned about the thought of having to fight Eric. It wasn't until we got to the training room that he informed me how it was going to work. I had to score a certain about of points and strikes against him. And if I could last a set amount of time, then that would add to the points as well. Before we moved into that portion he was considerate enough to work on my forms with me first.

I won't lie, the ending of today was heading towards a complete disaster.

I did everything Eric demanded of me to prepare for the final physical assessment, and even did it without much complaining on my end, even though I felt completely wrecked by the end of it.

I passed with a total of 79 from the maximum 100 points I could have gained. According to Eric, being five points over the minimum passing score was nothing to be happy about.

I disagreed and then we argued, with him using that to point out everything I could have done better and then having me do them again. Just to show me that I could and there was no reason for me not to have done them the first time.

Dinner time was passing me by very quickly, making my already bad attitude get rapidly worse. It didn't help that I could tell Eric had no real reason for us to still be doing anything, but I couldn't figure out why he was insisting on it. It got so bad that I just lost it and straight out started cursing him out.

I reached my limit of putting up with him and his demands as well as his attitude that was just getting worse, and I had no clue what I was doing wrong to cause him to act like he was.

"Carajo! I don't know what is making you even more of an estúpido than normal, but I am not going to just sit here and put up with this mierda." I snap at him and slap my hands against his chest after the final time he snapped at me for, in my opinion, no reason.

In the last hour, Eric's cold and emotionless expression morphed into nothing but sneers and scowls. Now he scoffed angrily at me. "You'll take whatever mierda I throw at you because if you don't, as you so generously informed Four, I can send you packing."

I stamped my foot in anger and frustration. My temper was getting worse as dinner time got further away. "Vete al demonio!" I yelled and whirled away from him, determined to end this and get myself some dinner.

Eric wasn't having it as he grabbed my arm and spun me around. I lost balance but he was also pulling me forward at the time so that I slammed against his chest. "Where do the fuck do you think you're going? You don't get to leave until I say you can. Until I've signed off on that fucking paperwork, you're mine."

"I'm hungry, Eric!" I try for anything but the whine I know is coming, but don't succeed.

"Fine. Then we go to my apartment and we can have dinner there." He snaps at me, his face all contorted with anger.

"Fine!" Not that he was asking at all, but I yell out my agreement anyway.

His mouth snaps shut and he looks down at me, the anger melting slightly from his face.

"Good." He agrees with a nod and then pulls me with him out of the gym and to his apartment.

He wasn't holding my hand or anything. I doubt Eric even knows how to do something like that. His huge hand stayed wrapped around my wrist the entire time, even when he stopped pulling me. As if he was afraid I was going to just slip off as soon as he was distracted. For some reason, I like it.

After getting to his apartment his demeanor didn't improve much. At least not at first. Especially when he was rummaging through his refrigerator and cabinets with a look of intensity and then something that had looked like a flash of defeat when he saw all he really had was stuff for breakfast. The frown got deeper when he explained to me that's the only meal he ever has time to actually have there, so he doesn't bother with getting anything else.

When told him that breakfast for dinner was actually something I did for myself a lot, his mood got better and he set about making me another omelet. The dinner that followed was so similar to that breakfast I had with him in his apartment that I couldn't help remembering that morning.

I couldn't help but to remember our kiss and wondering why he hadn't tried to kiss me again in our time spent together. Yeah, sure he's touched me over the last few days, but not really like he did that morning. Then I spent the rest of the dinner wondering if I should be feeling as disappointed and hurt by that as I am.

We talked though, so I didn't have much time to really dwell on any of that. We talked about work and what I could expect when I went back. That there is now going to be more staff from Erudite available during the week beyond the normal hours they had been staffed for, possibly even overnight, and that would also carry over on the weekends.

He hinted at meetings with Erudite to talk about more, which led to him telling me about the fact that there are several big meetings with all the factions over the next month or so. Things that will hopefully lead to improved conditions for Dauntless overall. He complained about how long the process has been taking since the downfall of the corrupt leaders here and in Erudite too.

Dinner was...pleasant, honestly.

Even if it started out a complete wreck. At the end, Eric started to turn back into being surly, like he didn't want me to leave and was upset that he couldn't command me to stay. Instead, he insisted on walking me back to my apartment.

At the door, I turned to tell him goodbye but never got to say a word. Once again I was pressed up against something while he was kissing me stupid.

It rattled me so badly I almost shoved the door open and just pulled him inside and straight to my bedroom. I think I would have if the door hadn't opened and Sadie had squeaked out an apology saying she thought she had heard me having trouble opening the door.

Eric had already pulled away from the kiss to look at her and glared her back before looking at me again. His hand was still at the back of my neck and his eyes were dark. "I'm going to busy with meetings and other bullshit I couldn't get out of for the next two days."

I swallowed and nodded numbly. He had already informed me of this earlier during dinner when we were talking about, not only what I would be going back to at work, but what he was expecting for him too.

"You told me, Eric." I breathe out as he brings me closer to his body.

"I'm telling you again." He growled out then closed his eyes. "I _will_ make sure to have time with you again but I don't know when that might be exactly." He frowned for a second before pulling back and looking at me. "What I said about being prepared for me anytime still stands."

He left with a smirk as I tossed a curse word at his back. His chuckle had made me smile before I went into the apartment and slammed the door behind me. Sadie and been wide eyed and waiting for me.

"Sorry, I really did think you were having trouble getting in and thought it be because you were so worn out." Sadie babbled out her apology that I wave off tiredly.

"Está bien," I mumble out then sigh and repeat it in English for her benefit. She's used to this by now and has picked up some Spanish from me, just not enough to actually be able to hold a conversation in it.

I move further into the living room, distractedly following a routine that feels off. I go to the kitchen and pull down a glass and fill it with cold water from the pitcher we keep of it in our fridge.

As I'm drinking it, Sadie watches me carefully. "I didn't see you at dinner. Are you hungry, did you eat, or did he keep you...occupied...in the training room?"

Her question is cautious and probing. Probably wanting to find out more about what she saw at the door. I just don't have the presence of mind to be able to handle that right now. "I already ate. We did run over dinner a little but got food somewhere else."

I finish drinking my water, clean the glass and put it on our drainer on the counter. Our apartment doesn't have a dishwasher, so we have to clean the few dishes we have in the small kitchenette by hand.

"Devi, what's going on with you and Eric?" Sadie asks me softly before I go into my room.

"Nothing. He was just doing the assessment for me but that's done now."

We both knew it was a lie, but it was one I was planting firmly in my mind. I still had major doubts that this was anything for him other than an amusement. Maybe a challenge. Just because I am different from the other girls in some respects doesn't mean that in end, after he gets what he wants, I won't become just like the others then.

Back in my bath, I sink under the bath water so that the tears I refuse to acknowledge combine with the liquid in the tub. I come up when the need for air is greater than my need for denial.

Disgusted with myself I climb out of the bath, into some pajamas and sink into the bed. I am grateful when my body and mind do agree for once and sink into blissful sleep.

* * *

It feels odd not waking up knowing that I'm going to be seeing Eric as soon as I step out of my door. I know we were only following that schedule for two days but it felt like much longer.

Despite a solid eight hours of sleep, I'm still sluggish as I get up. I contemplate going to grab a coffee from the bakery but I don't think I can even manage that at the moment.

We have coffee here but it's the instant kind. Our tiny kitchen can't handle too many appliances and Sadie and I decided not to bother getting much anyway since we aren't here so much with both of our jobs.

I fill up the kettle and put it on one of the portable induction cooktops we have, take out the jar of instant coffee and blearily measure it out into my mug then wait for the water to boil. While I'm waiting, I hear my phone buzzing from my room.

I shuffle in to get it and shuffle back into the kitchen, temporarily forgetting why I have my phone in my hand in the first place until it buzzes again, reminding me about my unread message. I blearily look at the screen and catch the name of the sender first.

I bite my lip and stare at it with a scowl, cursing myself for the flipping in my stomach while I debate actually reading the message and wondering how Eric even has my phone information.

 _He did have the thing for an entire day, Núñez._

The scathing mental reminder does little to improve my mood when I realize that there is no way I'm _not_ going to check the message. So with a sigh and my stomach fluttering, I click the message and read it.

 _Since you now have lunch free, Leader's level...or I come to find you._

I scoff and toss my phone down as I turn to pour the now boiling water into my mug and stir the mixture before I can add sugar and cream to it. I grumble the entire time, alternating between feeling elated that he wants to have lunch together to pissed he's making it an order for me to be there.

I decide that he's had things his way for two days but it's time to get back to reality and I can't just put my life and plans on hold because of his whims. I need to get back to work and my mostly well-ordered life. I take leisurely sips of my coffee and completely ignore the warring going on in my mind and the itch I have to reply to him.

My phone buzzes with another message and this time I see his name flash on the screen as it comes in. I snatch up the phone and click on the message before I have time to change my mind.

 _If I have to come find you it won't just be you I'll make life difficult for, little one. Your choice._

I let out a yelled growl and stream of curses as I throw my mug at the wall. It shatters and the liquid in it goes in all directions, some even landing on me and burning where it hits but I'm so angry I don't even care.

Sadie rushes in, eyes still closed from sleep, but backs up as I spin around and brush past her while still yelling in Spanish.

I was going to reply and tell him to fuck off, but this kind of message is best delivered in person.

I yank on my boots, grab my keys and slam out of the door. The entire time I'm stomping my way to the leader offices I'm still verbally fuming out loud.

I have no clue what people think when they see me. I must look like a crazy mess because if someone gets close they jump back like they're afraid of me or something.

My hair is up in a crazy and messy bun. I have no bra on, and just a black thin strapped tank top along with my black sleep shorts. I'm muttering in my customary combination of the two languages and I'm shouting ' _fuck you Eric Coulter'_ occasionally.

I actually hear one guy tell me to hurry up and get past him with that shit.

I finally make it to the leader's floor. A door opens towards the end of the hallway and out steps Eric. Arms crossed over his chest and a smug smirk on his face. I can see the damn thing from all the way where I'm at. As I get closer my anger elevates even more.

I don't know why the smirk on his face starts to fade, but it does. By the time I'm standing in front of him he looks angry as hell. He jerks me into the office and slams the door behind us.

We both start to speak, our voices are raised and trying to talk over each other. I don't know what he's saying exactly while I'm yelling at him, asking him just who the hell he thinks he is. He doesn't answer, just continues to gesture wildly at me while scowling. Then I realize what he's pissed about and the only response I can think of is to grab him by the front of his open vest and jerk him towards me. My back hits the door when his body crashes against mine and I don't waste time in raising up on my toes and claiming his mouth hungrily.

His complaint about me being dressed like I am where anyone can see me is cut off by the kiss, which he starts to return just as fiercely as I started it. It feels like he's using whatever feelings he was having and now communicating them with his mouth. Which is fine with me because that's what I intended to begin with.

I shouldn't be pleased that he was getting worked up about something I was wearing but there is a small part of me that is. Not because I'm okay with him trying to tell me what to do or what's okay for me to wear at all, but because I could see something in his eyes and the way he was looking at me. It scared me enough that I needed to stop him from saying anything more while at the same time taking something I've wanted again so badly.

He groans as I bite on his bottom lip, then takes command of the kiss.

He also scoops me up so that I can wrap my legs around his waist while he backs up, away from the door, and starts to walk. He's carrying me and squeezing my ass while we go, kissing the entire time until we end up at a sitting area that's in his office.

I expect him to toss me down on the small sofa and then pounce on me. He seems like that type. Instead, he plops down onto the sofa with me in his lap and straddling him. Our tongues tangle as we kiss deeply.

One of his hands keeps squeezing and kneading my ass and hips while he pulls me tighter against him. The other hand makes its way up to my hair, where he tugs firmly to free it from the bun I had it in. I moan loudly into his mouth when he then twists it in his hand and pulls my head back, exposing my throat to him.

He greedily moves his mouth down it and begins to lick and suck in all the right places while my hands tangle in his hair. I rock against him needing more, especially of what I feel he has straining to get out to meet me right where I need him most. I feel like I'm about to combust with the heat and how much I need him right now.

Our breathing is ragged and becoming even more so with each second. I can feel the heat of his breath against my skin as he whips the hand he had on my hip up to shove the top of my tank down. Then he scoops my breast up while moving his mouth down at the same time.

He's released the hold he has on my hair just enough that I can move it to look down and watch him. I see that he's looking up at me like he wants to watch me watch him. I bite my bottom lip in anticipation and whimper in impatience as the second seems to last forever before his tongue snakes out and flicks against my stiff nipple.

My eyes flutter closed and my head falls back with my low husky moan of pleasure. I know that was just the beginning. First, he uses his teeth. Grazing and nipping at the taut flesh. Testing how far and hard he can go. My hips rock faster and my moan gets deeper with pleasure when it gets it just right. I feel his smirk against my skin just before he wraps his lips around it completely and sucks, licks, nips, and repeats all over again.

I try to gain more friction as my hips move faster and can only groan in frustration when it's impossible to achieve what I want with both of us still in our clothes. Eric growls into my flesh, letting his own frustration be known. Then he releases my nipple with a plop only to immediately claim my mouth again.

He stands abruptly with me still in his arms towards where his desk is in the room. I gasp into his mouth when I feel and hear the sound of him shoving things off his desk and them hitting the ground. I try to break free from the kiss to take a look at the havoc but I'm barely free before he reclaims my mouth and lowers me to the desk.

I moan with anticipation as he positions me at the edge of it and I move a hand towards his pants only to have it stopped. We both pull back from the kiss, me scowling at him and him frowning with a hungry look in his eyes.

"Not that, not yet. I don't have the time to do that properly." He says with real regret and frustration. "But I can at least get you off before I have to go."

His hand is already moving against me through my sleep shorts as he purrs that last bit out. I bite my lip and shift against his hand. I refuse to beg. But it's oh so tempting to. It's right there on the tip of my tongue as he presses his palm into my mound and rubs in a slow circle.

The pendejo knows exactly what he's doing to me with that knowing smirk lingering at the edges of his mouth. His blue eyes glinting with a dangerous light. He also looks serious and focused, as if this is taking every bit of his willpower to not give me what I really want.

What we both really want.

Eric moves his hand to slide against my thigh and through the wide leg of my shorts then repeats rubbing me with the flat of his palm but this time with only my underwear on.

I whimper for more and Eric finally takes pity on me. He presses his forehead to mine and is breathing heavy as he moves the cotton material to the side and his fingers finally make contact with the slippery mess I've become.

"You need this badly, don't you?" He says on his exhale of breath after he groaned and slid one finger into me.

I can't answer, I'm to busy moving my hips to get more and moaning into his neck where I moved so I could lick and suck on the vein that's pulsing there. That stopped and I had no choice but to answer when he withdrew his finger at the same time as grabbing my hair and tugging my head back.

"Tell me you need me." He demanded in a voice that is raw with hunger and lust.

My face scrunches up with the effort to resist giving in while the throbbing ache inside of me just increases when he flicks his thumb lightly over the swollen nub of my clit. He wasn't giving in and the throbbing just got worse.

"Sí, maldición. Te necesito ... Quiero decir ... Necesito esto." I cried out in desperation.

That desperate cry out was turned into a gasp of pleasure once again as he slid not just one finger, but two firmly into me. He pulled my hair again to bring my mouth back to his and swallowed the rest of my cries.

Between the sound of his fingers pumping into my wetness, there was also the sound of his pleased rumblings and my muffled moans. Even as I was building to the release I desperately needed I was also feeling disappointment and longing for more.

Eric tore away from the kiss and held my eyes. "Let go for me, Devi. Come for me now, little one." His tone was soft but it was all command in delivery. With the power of his own fierce need for me.

I saw this behind the intensity of his eyes that were glittering with it. I felt it in the way he held me in his arms and felt the way he worked to control his body, the clinch, and release of the muscles where they came into contact with me. His labored breathing that had the faint growl under it coming from a face tightened by need.

It wasn't my words being returned but it was just as potent and it pushed me over that edge I had been hanging on to. My body shook as my voice rang out my pleasure.

"Fuck….yes." Eric ground out loudly, almost as if he had just come undone himself. He kept pumping in me until I clenched my thighs a little and whimpered with the sensitivity that I started to feel.

He slowed and then pulled his fingers out, kissing me the entire time. I could feel his smile against my lips. I can feel the thud of his heart where I have my hand against his chest and it tells me that he was just as affected by all that as I was.

We start to kiss in a slower, more sensual manner when the door swings open with a thud. I jerk back in surprise and wrench my head around to see who it might be. Marlene stands there with wide eyes, looking between the two of us in surprise before her expression turns frightened and she stammers over her explanation. I can only imagine the glare being sent her way by Eric right now.

"Sorry...you just...not answering….they're on their way in...sorry…" She got out in a jumble before she slams the door shut behind her.

"Shit," Eric mumbles with a sigh.

I turn back to look at him after staring dumbly at the closed door, wondering how long it's going to take for this tale to circulate Dauntless. I catch Eric just as he lifted his hand to his mouth and sucks his fingers clean and grins widely at my wide eyes and whimper.

"It'll have to do until I can get a taste straight from the source." He leaned in and whispered just above my lips before kissing me again.

I flush, moan and clench my thighs together all at the same time as I wrap my arms around his neck and lose myself in his kiss again. We only break away when his phone buzzes loudly from its place on his desk.

Eric grunts in disapproval but lets me pull back.

"I still expect you at lunch." He remarks casually but with narrowed eyes.

I huff and squinted mine right back at him. "Threatening people is not the way to do things."

He gives a wicked chuckle and shakes his head. "Yeah? Seems to have worked just fucking fine for me before."

I scowl and push him back as I try to get down from his desk but he grips my hips with a mocking lifted eyebrow.

"No conmigo, no lo harás. Te lo dije antes, no soy una de esas chicas estúpidas …"

He reaches up and grabs my face, all humor has gone as he interrupts me. "And I've told you that you are different too. Those girls were never ones I was dating or even considered dating. You alone can say this, Devi."

My mind is a blank in shock, unable to process this. Somewhere in my mind, I hear yelling for me to say something instead of looking like an idiota. My mind finally kickstarts and I frown at him.

"When did this happen?" I ask him with a scowl.

"What did you think has been happening the last few days?"

"You being an insufferable, demanding ass is what I thought. Never once did you ask me on a date, Eric."

"Me making us breakfast, me taking on your training myself and taking time off to do it so I could show you how important you are to me. Lunches and dinner together. Those were dates, Devi."

Of course, Eric would be the type to see those as dates.

I roll my eyes and shove harder this time. "By your definition, they might be. You didn't even ask me, Eric. You commanded me to be there. I had no choice in the matter. Maybe all those other girls would just be happy to have a minute of your time but I like to have a say in the matter."

"You had a choice. Four gave you one, and if you had looked like you wanted to take it, I would have known. But you didn't, Devi. Tell me why you didn't take the out he gave you if you didn't want that time with me just as much as I wanted it with you?"

I start to walk around his desk and avoiding answering the question while searching for the keys I know I left my apartment with. I train my eyes on the floor while he follows closely behind me.

When he gets the idea that I'm ignoring him and his question he grabs my arm to stop me.

"Tell me you don't want to see me. That you don't want this." He barks out when he spins me to face him.

"I do dammit! Alright! But you can't just force me, or think it's ok to not ask the question, Eric. It's not okay to just think that what you consider a date is what I consider a date. Did you even think that I might not want to spend an entire day being physically punished and interrogated as well? That if I'm going to go out on a limb here with you and do this dating thing that I've sworn never to do again, that I might want some kind of say in it?"

Eric looks thunderstruck for a moment before he pulls me closer and frowns. "I spent time with you in the only way I could justify taking off from the crapton of work I'm under, Devi. I wanted and needed to get to know you better, and that's my way of doing it. I'm never going to be some soft guy that's going to sing to you or make love to you under the stars. But I'm also not going to be that guy that will start something with you only as a way to pass time until something better comes along. You aren't the only one that has the market cornered on fucked up past relationships."

"How would I know that about you, Eric? You know about me because you forced the answers from me but when did I get a chance to find out anything about you like that? You made me answer those questions but refused to do the same for me. This has all been on your terms." I spot my keys by the sofa and pull from his grasp to scoop them up. "You wanted to get to know me? Well now you have, and you should have no problem understanding how I feel about having no say in my life."

He's still standing there, scowling at me when I open and slip out of the door.

My progress back to my apartment isn't much better than the way I made it from there this morning. The entire time I'm walking I try to keep myself from hyperventilating or screaming or punching something….maybe all three things at once.

The entire time I'm getting ready for work one phrase keeps running through my mind. The lines of a song Sadie had played on repeat for the first month after a breakup from her last boyfriend.

' _I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind. Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life. What is happening to me….'_

Fuck...what _is_ happening to me?


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5**

" _You'll never believe what I just heard…."_

The excited voice of Kari drifts to me from outside of the office I am currently camping out in. I don't need to know what she just heard because the looks she cast at me when she hurried by the office lets me know that the story I had been waiting to be circulated has finally hit the rest of Dauntless. My shoulders slump a little but I can't take the time to dwell over how the story might have changed.

Yesterday had been a crappy day despite the fact that there was plenty of staff and things were looking up at the clinic for once. It didn't help that as soon as I stepped foot into the debriefing for the morning it was made clear why that help was now available.

The new people from Erudite didn't come out and say it was because of me but it was hinted at highly. I even heard two of the nurses whispering, one asking the other ' _is that her_?' I am not sure how he did it but Eric seemed to be responsible for calling in some kind of favor or debt to get more staffing for the clinic. It just made me feel the misery I was mired in even deeper.

I had no intention of going to lunch and I don't think Eric would have appreciated me being there either judging by his angry look when I left his office. A flurry of text messages from my friends ended with Tori knocking on the door of the exam room I was just finishing in. She was holding up a bag and it was clear she meant for us to have lunch together.

I also knew Tori and while us having lunch together isn't unusual, where she took us to have it was her advice spot. I think she picked this place when she first started having deep conversations with me because of me coming from Amity.

On one of the roofs of the compound is what has become a rooftop garden of sorts. No one knows how it started but I think it must have been some long ago Amity that wanted a bit of home. There is grass growing with the odd wildflower here and there. The sun and the wind are refreshing to me and for a few minutes I just lay back soaking up both while she unpacks our lunch.

Finally, she decides it is time and she pushes my sandwich at me with a sigh. "So, I guess you know I heard a few things this morning."

I snort and unwrap my food but just sit looking at it. "I am sure you heard all about what a psycho bitch I am."

She chuckles at that and shakes her head. "Neither of those words entered into the description but hardheaded, demanding, frustrating….those all entered into the conversation." Then she looks at me and laughs. "Now, Uri on the other hand might have said something about you being pushed over the edge and being on your way to take out our fearless leader as you stormed your way through Dauntless. He actually called Eric to warn him before you got there."

I blushed and took a bite of my sandwich and chewed while thinking. It is quiet while we eat until she lays down her sandwich. I hear her take a breath and release it.

"I don't know if I have told you before, I mean it's not like I go in for all that sentimental bullshit, but you are like a daughter to me." She says softly from beside me.

I swallow and look over to her, she isn't looking at me but off into the distance. Erudite sector is faint but can be seen from here. I think that is why she comes here at times. I am lost for words but I guess she doesn't expect any because she continues on without looking at me.

"I never wanted to get close to anyone again after what happened with George. I definitely didn't want to get close to the lone Amity transfer that Dauntless has had in years, much less a tiny little girl." She stops and looks over to me and grins. "One look at you slinking your way into my parlor and the defiance you had in your eyes, just daring anyone and everyone to say anything about you being there; you reminded me of both myself and George. Which of course made me crankier when you wouldn't just go away."

We both laugh at that but I can feel tears gathering in the corner of my eyes.

"You still do remind me so much of myself, Devi. I just don't know that it is a good thing. I know you got a raw deal in Amity, kiddo. You don't want to say anything bad about it or your family and I get it, but you did. It made parts of you hard that were never meant to be that way in you."

"It wasn't just all from Amity." I protest and see her looking at me with those eyes that can cut through all my bullshit.

"No. Some of it you brought on yourself." She says and raises her chin, preparing for my argument and anger.

She's right, I feel it flaring in me violently. "How the hell did I bring it on myself other than putting myself out there like everyone was telling me to in the first place?"

Tori scoffed and looked away. "Because it was all in the choice you made. There were so many other guys looking to get with you. Interested in you for more than just a quick fuck. You looked over all those guys and went for Charlie. We _all_ warned you about him, Devi. We told you he had an on and off again relationship with Carmen for over five years. That he always went back to her when she was in a break from her husband but you still chose to go for it. Can you honestly tell me you were all that crazy about him? He sure as hell wasn't all that charming, he was lazy which you couldn't stand, so why him? What made him stand out above all the others?"

I am quiet and anger is still radiating through me as I look off into the distance. It is all true. Shortly after Tori talked me into start going out I also started to think about trying to meet new guys. Set on getting Vincente out of my mind and the fact that word got back to me he married someone else before I was even out of training. There were a few guys, friends of friends that inquired about me. Charlie had been a patrolman that I encountered when he came into the clinic to be treated. I liked his smile and easy manner. It was lazy in a way now that I think about it. I wasn't crazy attracted to him and the sex had been ok.

Why had I picked him? Four, Lynn, Zeke, Shauna; they had all warned me. Shauna especially had begged me not to get involved with him. I did it anyways with the attitude that I didn't like being told what to do. That was how I reasoned it later on when it all came crashing down eight months later. He had went back to Carmen, just like they said he would. Like I knew deep down he would do. So why had I went with him?

"Because I knew it would fail." I whisper into the breeze but I feel Tori sigh beside me. I turn to look at her and say it more firmly. "I knew it wouldn't last and I think….I think I wanted it. So I could have something...someone else to blame for it. To have a reason why…."

She smiles sadly at me and nods. "To have a reason to never try again."

I nod and wrap the sandwich up, having lost my appetite. "So it's all my fault then? What happened with Eric?"

She snorted and then slapped me up the backside of my head. "Did I say that, idiot? Hell no. If anything I am glad you have been standing up to him like you have. He needs that reality check."

"Then why…" I ask frowning but she interrupts me.

"Because you aren't the only one with a past, Devi. He might not be going about it in the best of ways but he is trying." She is looking at me the entire time she is talking and she tilts her head, like she is debating something. "He asked me about you….and I don't mean just in the last week. After he made leader and we were working together to clean up the mess Max and the other's created, he asked about you but I warned him away."

I frowned deeply and felt anger flashing and she again stopped me. "It wasn't all to protect you either. You haven't been in any position to want to move beyond things and neither was he really. Hell, you guys might not be even now."

"What…" I stop in the middle of my thought. Needing to know what could possibly be in his past. "What happened to him?"

She shrugged and looked away. "I don't know the details other than there was a girl back in Erudite who chose someone else. That isn't my story to tell anyways and it's not why I wanted to talk to you." She took a big breath and looked at her hands. "Everyone asks why I never got together with Bud before everything happened with the leaders. The simple answer was because I held on to bitterness and hurt for too long and by the time I was ready, it was too late. He was gone. I will always regret that now, not even trying with him. I just don't want that for you. Even if this thing with Eric doesn't work, at least you can say you tried."

She had said what she needed and wanted to and in usual Tori fashion moved on to another less emotional topic. It had left me deep in thought and wondering what I really wanted. I still haven't come up with an answer in the light of a new day. I am not even sure I will have the chance to find out because I still hadn't heard from Eric. Not that I expected to really. He did say he was going to be busy even before what happened in his office.

Morose thoughts and what if's aren't going to get the work done that is still piled up in the office. Inventory needs to be taken. I have a few appointments with some of the older Dauntless to do some physiotherapy. I have even talked a few into getting light adjustments and massages.

When lunch nears I debate my options. I can go grab something from a deli, go to the mess, or maybe even head to my apartment and grab whatever we might have there. The clinic is taken care of and I am getting wary, nervous looks from the staff so I decide to at least just leave and make my decision on the way.

I think I already knew where I was going to go because before I know it I am just steps away from the mess hall. It had to be bad timing or the universe working against me because as soon as I took another step I came even with a group about to enter the mess themselves. A group of leaders and a few visitors, Eric among them. He looked my way for a second before leaning in to say something to one of the men and then looking my way again.

No, not just look my way...he was actually breaking off and coming towards me.

"Devi." He greeted me with a small nod. "Good to see you are actually taking your lunch breaks now." He smirked a little when I moodily cut eyes at him.

I shrug and look straight ahead as I resume walking. "Yeah, well you know how I get when I haven't eaten."

He actually smiles, I feel it before I turn my head to see it. "Indeed I do." Then the smile is gone and he looks around as we step into the mess. "Would you join us for lunch? I was actually going to contact you about this, but there is someone here that it would be good for you to meet with."

"So this is a business lunch?" I ask and damn myself for the tinge of disappointment.

His jaw clenches and he stops me so that we turn towards each other. "This is me asking you to have lunch at the leaders table."

Just because I am fluent in two different languages does not mean that it makes it any easier to adapt to another one. Especially one as convoluted as 'Eric-speak'. I narrow my eyes and do my best to try and translate but he gets impatient and rolls his eyes.

"Okay then. Just remember that I asked first." He grumbles, grabs my arm and then pulls me along to the leaders level.

The tiniest smirk escapes me and I repress a laugh at his frustrated grumbling beside me. He doesn't let go of my arm until he sees me going to take my seat. Then he releases and slides into the seat beside me with the visitors looking at us with interest.

"Alyssa, Calvin, Elijah...this is Devi; the Head Nurse at the clinic as well as the Physiotherapist." Eric motions to each of the people at the table. They are all Erudite which is clear by their manner of dress and holding themselves. They each give me a nod of greeting but one eyes me a little critically before Eric continues on. "They are all in charge of different departments within Erudite and are here to assess some things for us. We are trying to bring things to date and put a few others in place for the faction."

I nod smile at each of them in greeting, distracted by the foods on the table. They aren't the normal fare I am used to but it isn't a bad thing from what I am seeing. There are far more fruits and veggies on the table and it is making me salivate. It has been ages since I have had this variety.

Seeing my look; Tori, Four and Tris are all laughing at me but it is Tris who speaks. Technically she isn't a leader. She turned that down when new ones were needed to replace the deposed ones. She is an assistant and go between of sorts for the faction and Abnegation. Tensions between the two factions are still high even though the attack was stopped from ever gaining traction. Her coming from that faction and being the daughter of the main councilmen helped to smooth things over. Even if her dad was a bit of a dick. Her mom was really cool though. I might be biased about that considering she is the one that helped me to decide to go where I belonged. I will never forget her mom's caring and kindness that day as she held me while I cried.

"Usually when we have visitors the cooks add a bit more variety to the normal menu." She says with a laugh and hands me the bowl of a summer fruit salad that had me internally moaning. I gladly took it and started scooping some onto my plate.

"Well, then you guys should come much more often." I say as I smile widely and reach for the next plate of food to take from.

"I take it that you were a transfer?" The Erudite woman asks and has a note derision in her tone. I feel Eric tense beside me but see Tori eyeing the woman like she is seconds from snatching her by the hair.

Guess it is a good thing there are three people between those two.

I give her narrowed eyes but keep my temper. I raise my chin and smile proudly. "I found my way home from Amity."

"Amity." The man named Elijah interrupts whatever his faction-mate was going to say and is looking over me appraisingly before he smiles. "That's impressive. Amity going to Dauntless has always been the most difficult transition to make. It speaks to just how accurate you are that you made it. You had to be a true Dauntless to achieve that."

"She is." Eric says firmly after swallowing his bite of food. There is a threat or warning in there. I see the other two Erudite nod to him, slight but respectful nods, while the other man just smiles at Eric. Almost in a teasing manner.

"So she is." He agrees softly and turns his attention to his plate.

I let out a breath and exchange looks with Tori who is smiling for some reason. I just shrug and dig into my food. At first I just listen to the conversation going on around me. It seems like Erudite like to conduct business even while eating. I barely like to look up from my food much less have to speak.

I am forced to do both as Elijah catches my attention and starts to talk to me. "I hope that the new staff additions have been of help in bringing the levels of what is needed to at least manageable right now."

I pause in my eating and look at him quizzically and he smiles at me. "I'm sorry, I guess you don't know that my department is handling things of that nature. I am a doctor but I stepped away from practicing when leadership asked me to help get things back on track within our own faction. I also help to head up the Health Services department. With you being the Head Nurse that will see us working together pretty closely."

He seemed happy about that or at least he was smiling. There was something in his eyes though that seemed like he was appraising me. Something nagging and familiar. I couldn't place it but it didn't matter. It was like a dream come true to have someone in front of me that could hear my ideas I had been trying to get in place.

It was like he knew this was going to be the thing to get my head out of my plate and open up to talking to him. He was right. We began talking back and forth about the ideas I had. Going over the likelyhood of the short-term ones that would see to some of the basic needs of the faction. He also was engaging me in regards to the longer-term goals. Even asking me about the ideas I had for the Dauntless members that would be forced to go factionless in a few years time if something wasn't done to improve things for them. This had gotten Tris and Tori involved because that was something they were lobbying to try and change but couldn't see a way to do it. The main issue was that older members couldn't get around the compound anymore. It became dangerous for those with poor mobility or sight. There were even some cases of dementia and other diseases that affected the mind.

By the end of lunch Elijah had already secured a tour of the clinic from me. He had also arranged for me to go to Erudite and tour the facilities there afterwards to go over some of the equipment that has been requested and make other plans. One lunch and more had been accomplished for the clinic than I had been able to wring out in three years.

I was a little dazed by it to be honest. I was giddy, nervous, confused, and even a little bit...unsettled. I couldn't help but notice that as I was having a genuinely pleasant conversation with Elijah, while Eric was beside me looking pleased.

He had a small twist to the side of his lips and watching us both closely. It wasn't his normal intimidating look or even the jealous, possessive look he turned on anyone that looked my way over the last few days. There was also pride in his eyes when I was able to toss ideas and knowledge back at Elijah. I left lunch ahead of Elijah who would be going back to a meeting with all the others, then heading to the clinic.

I wouldn't say that I am as bad as someone like Lynn who is a complete hardass with her patrol units, but I have been told I can be pretty bad at times. When I hit the doors of the clinic I snap into the mode that Kari and Devin recognize instantly. They know when they can talk back to me and when not to. This is not one of those times.

It isn't an inspection, the leaders haven't cared to do one of those in the past, but I am treating it like it will be. Those people not attending to patients I have making sure the clinic is spotless from top to bottom. Some of the Erudite nurses try to mouth off at first saying that this isn't in their job description but I take care of that pretty quickly.

I keep myself busy right along with them. After I have the office and the store room in order I join the others in getting the rooms cleaned. When the appointed time for Elijah and whoever else is joining him comes, what can sparkle, is. All the beds have been made with crisp sheets. The drawers that hold our supplies having been organized and stocked. I can't do anything about how old and worn out everything is but I can make sure it everything is as presentable as I can get it. Shauna even came in for a mid shift since we will now have a few new staff that help out overnight. She smiles and lets out a puff of relieved breath as we take everything in.

As soon as I saw not only Elijah but two of Dauntless' leaders, I knew this was being considered a formal inspection. I think I had almost been hoping or at the very least predicting that Eric would come. The other Dauntless staff realized this as well and didn't hesitate when I snapped out the call for attention and then to present for inspection.

I saw Elijah's looks of surprise but Eric and Harrison had smirks along with their chins raised. When Eric looked over to me at one point as I watched him do what was expected as a commanding officer, look over all the staff first, I felt a shiver of pleasure at the heat and pride in his eyes.

"At ease." He finally gave the order to the room in general. "Devi, let's show our guest around."

I nodded and move forward to join Elijah then began to show him all the clinic. We discussed everything in regards to the limitations we had and what the clinic is supposed to be able to do. He had an assistant trailing behind us typing furiously what Elijah was saying in regards to what would need to be addressed first. Eric was following along and interjected as well. They began to talk about the long held plans that had been canceled to move the clinic location so that better facilities could be had.

As I listened to this and remained silent, my blood was boiling at the previous leadership of both factions.

"So you're telling me that we are supposed to have at least one doctor here and three nurses from Erudite? That they are supposed to be residing in Dauntless housing as well?" I try to keep the anger from my tone but I am sure Eric picks up on it. Elijah doesn't and answers for me.

There is something in the way his jaw tightens and his lips thin when he answers that distracts me for a moment but it passes quickly. "That was the idea and about fifteen years ago there were actually a few Erudite that lived and worked on Dauntless premises full time. There is no record of why that stopped at that time other than it was a mutual decision. It might take some time but we are hoping to be able to arrange for that again."

Talk turned to how that might be possible and carried on for the rest of the tour. Before he left, Elijah confirmed that the day after next I would be going to Erudite with a group of Dauntless but would be invited to spend the day with Elijah touring his department and other relevant areas.

Eric was hesitant to leave and I could tell he was trying to get a moment alone but it wasn't possible. Instead he just said he would be seeing me soon and left with the others.

I hate to admit that I had been waiting for him to just show up again or text me for the rest of that day and the next. It never happened. The night before my scheduled visit with Erudite I had all but written off anything further with Eric.

My eyes fell on the outfit I had picked out for the next day. When I picked it out with the help of Vera, I had been going for something that would look Dauntless but meet Erudite standards of being sharp. I couldn't deny that it was also a bit of a way to get back at Eric. Make him think about what he would be missing out on.

It wasn't outrageous or too sexy. It was what might be called a little black dress. A spaghetti strapped bodycon dress that goes to just at mid thigh and has a sweetheart neckline that also has a slight v to dip in between the cleavage. I am pairing that with a new purchase of a black short length blazer to give it more of a professional look and my metal belt for some Dauntless flair. I also picked up some high heels with a black pinstripe pattern to them. I was pleased with my choice and had flutters of nerves imagining Eric's reaction.

If I could feel regret then I was going to make damn sure that he would be too.

* * *

I woke up even earlier than I would normally. I had a plan to present a sleek look and that meant straightening my hair. Not an easy or quick task. Sadie, gods love her, even volunteered to help. So in thanks for that, I drug my butt out of bed and headed to my favorite place to get breakfast treats and coffee. They were always open at ass early in the morning since they had to begin baking early for the morning patrol and guard shifts heading out.

I know that I look a mess, still in my pajamas and my hair falling in tangles I didn't bother to try and tame right now. I had just thrown on boots as I stumbled from bed to get to the bakery and back. I am also oblivious to anything else but the thought of getting much needed coffee in my system. So oblivious that I don't even recognize the person I brush past until I hear his bellowed curse word and then is yanking me against him.

"Goddammit, Devi." A disheveled and sweaty Eric growls out lowly while walking me backwards towards the wall in the hallway still near my apartment.

"What?" I ask in confusion as I try to push him away from me.

"What did I say about you walking around like that the other morning?" As he was speaking his body was pressing into me. Making me move back into the dark and against the wall no matter that I was trying not to.

I was fighting him but I honestly couldn't say why. Why I would be fighting when every inch of my skin went to fire as soon as we made contact. It had to be that I didn't like being so out of control of myself and that is what Eric made me feel every single time.

"I thought I told you I don't care what you don't like. What does it matter anyways? I was just grabbing coffee and muffins before getting ready for the trip to Erudite today. I'm not about to get dressed just to go back and get dressed. Makes no sense."

He doesn't answer verbally because his mouth started to move towards me, his nostrils flaring. I see he is feeling the same desire I am. Maybe even the same pent up frustration I have going on as well but this just serves to piss me off because he hadn't bothered to even text me at all. So I make another attempt to shove him away, hard but he only catches my hands and forces them above my head.

"What does it matter to you, Eric? It isn't like you have even said one word to me in two days outside of that trip to the clinic." He covers me, nose brushing against my neck and his teeth grazing my ear.

"What did you want me to say to you, little one? That I couldn't get you out of my fucking mind the entire time I was at Candor?"

While he was speaking in a low rumble, he had moved one hand to keep both of mine still pinned while the other one gripped the back of my neck.

"That I was distracted the entire fucking visit to the prison by wondering what you were doing and if you were actually fucking eating instead of overworking?" His mouth claimed mine for a fierce and passionate kiss before he broke away with a growl.

"Do you want me to tell you that I spend a ridiculous amount of time with my hand wrapped around my cock remembering every time I have had you just where I fucking want you.." He pushes into me as his eyes blaze into mine "...but haven't been able to do what I want most? Do you want me to tell you that I still have the taste of you on my lips and I crave more? How tight and wet you were around my fingers."

I whimpered slightly at the heat building in me from his words and how his leg had pushed between mine, his thigh pressing through the thin cloth of the shorts I had on. My chest pressed forward to close that short distance from mine to his as I inhaled the intoxicating scent of him. It was obvious he had either been out for a run or was in the training room with the sweat making his black shirt with the cut off sleeves cling to his body. He pulsed his thigh up so that it pressed hard against my rapidly moistening center.

"Something is better than nothing. Especially when I thought you changed your mind after your office." I manage to whisper in a moment of being completely vulnerable just before his lips cover mine.

My eyes flutter closed as I sigh into his mouth and our tongues slide against each other. His leg presses into me again and I moan when it registers that the shorts he had on have ridden up and all that tight bare flesh is pressing into me. My hips move on their own while Eric has broken away from the kiss and is licking along my neck.

"You aren't getting away from me that easily, Devi." He murmured against my lips when he moved back to them. "Why is it that when I finally have you like this, I never have the goddamn time to follow things through?" He says in a guttural groan full of frustration.

I let out a disappointed whimper but he grips the back of my hair and makes me look at him while still moving my hips along his leg with his other hand.

"Dinner." He growls and pulses up making me gasp out my response.

"What?"

"I have to have dinner at Erudite tonight and I want you with me."

The non lust filled and completely hormonal portion of my brain is blaring an alarm at the command posing as a question.

I take a breath that has a moan in it because, oh fuck he is biting my lip now…

Eric brushes his nose against mine and lets out a sigh of my name. "Devi." His lips brush against mine again briefly. "I am trying."

I barely make out his whispered words over the thudding of my own heart and panting but they hit something inside of me. "Yes." I whimper out as he presses his forehead to mine.

He presses his lips against my mouth and I feel them curled up into a smile when he does. It doesn't bother me because I know that behind the cockiness of that smile is happiness. I can feel it in his kiss. I can feel it in his hands as they grip my hip and hair tighter. If I thought he had been taking me over the edge before I was wrong. Somehow the leg of my shorts had gotten so far up; that damp scrap of black silk I was wearing for underwear seemed to melt away from our combined heat.

My hands gripped his shoulders and I helped his motions along while I felt the tightening in my spine that radiates to my toes, making them curl in my boots. My body started shaking and I felt his chest rumble with pleasure as I flushed and cried out into his mouth.

When I came down from my high afterwards and we had stopped kissing I looked around, flushing in embarrassment that I had just done that so openly. Eric caught my chin in his grip, his eyes boring into mine.

"No one gets to see or hear you that way but me." He rasped out with his nostrils flaring and eyes darkened.

It was then I realized that he had us far enough back in the alcove that no one would see us. Not only that but he had me completely covered from view, his body shielding mine.

I nod in relief but am still flushed and that gets deeper when he straightens me out after tweaking my hardened nipple through the thin material of my sleep top. His lips thinned as his breathing picked up and he took by the hand to pull me quickly the short distance back to my apartment. He whipped the keys that were stuffed into a small pocket of my shorts. I didn't have time to object that I was capable of getting my own door open before he was pushing me in and following close behind me.

"Which one is yours?" His arms snakes around my waist. I point into the direction just before I am lifted until my legs wrap around his waist.

"I thought you said you didn't have time for anything." I panted after he had released my mouth from another kiss and pushed my door open with his tennis shoe.

"I have time to get a real taste of you, Devi." He tossed me onto the bed and my body bounced up. His hands already at my shorts and yanking them down before my back hit the bed again.

He tossed them to the side but hadn't taken his eyes off of me. I felt like they were feasting on me and that his mouth was soon to follow. His pupils were blown wide and he leaned closer until his nose brushed just above my already swollen sex.

"So fucking perfect." I felt him breathe the words against me. "Goddamn you already smell addicting." He lifted his head and looked at me as he pulled me until my ass is right at the edge of the bed. "Did you know you taste sweet with just a hint of spice? Fucking mouthwatering."

I couldn't respond as he sunk down to his knees and ran his fingernails up my legs slowly. I had never been spoken to this way during sex or even before it and I didn't know how to respond. I was flushing with the heat and pleasure the words he was saying sent through me. I was already soaking wet from my climax before and I was getting wetter by the second.

"Show me you want this, little one. Open up." He commanded me.

I liked my lips and opened my legs a little. "I do want this, Eric."

He eyed me with that damn eyebrow raised. "Then show me." There was still a command there but there was also a dare in that tone.

I bit my lip and decided to do one better then just opening my legs. Before I could really think about what I was doing, my feet were up on his shoulders to either side of his head and I had scooted even closer, letting my legs fall open. My eyebrow was lifted up in a return challenge.

His answer was a wicked grin before he gripped my thighs and pulled me even closer and lifted my ass up off the bed.

"Now watch." He growled before he began.

My legs trembled in anticipation and I felt myself grow wetter at the look in his eye and the command he was taking of my body.

' _If he makes me feel like this now what will it be like when we do finally fuck?'_

It was the last sane thing in my mind as his tongue darted out and he proceeded to devour me, just like I thought he would. I tried not to look away from him but my eyes rolling up out of pleasure as a long moan tore of me couldn't be helped.

Each time I lost eye contact with the blue daggers that he had locked on me, his fingers would dig into the flesh of my thighs and he would growl as he shook his head.

I was cursing him in both languages at the same time as begging him not to stop. His eyes shining with pleasure the entire time. He brought me to the edge twice then leaned back with a smug grin, wanting me to beg and not giving in until I did. I hated it and him...hated how much control he seemed to have over my body and me. It seemed to drive my desire for him even higher.

I don't know what made him decide I had enough torture. It could have been my breathless whispered please. Something in his eyes softened but the real descent into madness began. His tongue was vibrating against my clit while he slid first one finger into me that was joined by a second soon after. My spine had this tightening along it, making me arch off of the bed and grip the sheets.

He lifted his head while still moving his fingers inside of me. Hooking them so that they were rubbing right against my g spot. He turned his head so that he placed two gentle kisses to my thighs before he moved like liquid until he was kissing me, his hand still pumping into me.

"Devi." His deep gruff voice vibrated from his lips to mine where they were brushing against each other. "Come."

And I did. So hard that I felt it rush out of me and coat his hand as I called out his name before he swallowed that and the rest of my cries in a kiss that turned languid.

It took me way too long to come down from the force of my climax and come back to my senses. He was already moving away and I half expected him to just leave. He had just gone to my bathroom and I heard the water running before he came back, a washcloth in his hands. He wiped me gently before picking up my sleep shorts. Those got slid back on all while I was eyeing the very obvious bulge in his shorts.

I was seconds from grabbing it, that is how thirsty just the sight of it made me. His slipping something that looked like my underwear in his pocket stopped me from doing just that.

"Time for another shower." He grumbled and I had a feeling it was more to himself than to me.

"Sorry, not sorry?" I said with a shrug and smiling widely. Held a hand out to help me stand up and didn't let it go as I walked with him to my front door. Just as he got it open and stepped out, letting my hand go and turning towards me again I remembered something.

"Dammit, I was going to get shit from the bakery and you made me forget!"

He smirked and shrugged. "Sorry, not sorry." He winked at me before I slammed the door of my apartment in his face. I heard him chuckling through the door and him calling out he would see me soon.

I bit my lip to stop the stupid grin I couldn't seem to stop as I rushed into the bathroom to get ready. Even more determined to look my best for the day and dinner with Eric.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Holy Moly, it has been a while since I have been able to post much of anything. I apologize for the wait. I just want to reassure you guys, if you are still hanging around, that any work I have out there that is not marked completed I haven't abandoned. I plan on completing all of them! I thank you guys for all the views, reviews, follows and faves!**

 **Disclaimer: I own naught but my own plot.**

 **Part 6**

From the start, I knew I was going to be seeing another side to Eric while at Erudite.

For one, they sent cars to the Dauntless leaders and other members that were going to be visiting. The drivers were all deferential to the Dauntless leaders, but Eric more than the others. There was a Dauntless truck that followed with guards and I could tell it made them nervous but it was expected. It had been just under two years since everything settled after the shake-up but things were still tense.

Granted, I had never seen for myself this rumored tension between any of the factions personally. The only times I had left Dauntless was at the beginning of my time in the clinic when I had to go out to assist a few patrols as a medic. Once I did my training and assumed the Head Nurse position and duties, I was compound bound.

I know enough to know that Erudite had always acted superior to all factions, even Dauntless, who was supposed to be their greatest ally. In the past, cars being sent to pick up other faction leaders would never have happened.

Eric and I didn't talk much during the ride to Erudite. He barely acknowledged me other than making sure to pull me to the same car as he was riding in. Eric is normally stiff and scowling but today he is taking it to a new level.

The car ride is silent with only a slight and almost imperceptible rustle of fabric when Eric shifts beside me. I don't turn to fully look at him as I try to distract myself with my tablet, preparing myself for the day. I am pouting and I know it even if I don't like it. I am not that kind of girl that will get upset if someone doesn't notice a new hairdo or even to care how I look normally. I realize that with Eric, he is bringing out all kinds of things in me. I wanted to know he saw me and more importantly that he liked what he saw. The driver had certainly noticed how I looked and even appreciated it until Eric stepped in front of me to usher me into the backseat of the car.

We pull up to Erudite sooner than I had been expecting considering all I have to go by is how long the train usually takes to get anywhere. I had been able to do what I intended and forget about the unwelcome feelings at the start of the drive by going over everything Elijah and I had spoken about and some points I had thought of in the days since.

Eric is the one to help me out of the car after the driver was given a glare. It is the first and only indication so far that I am anything to him than just another faction member. The second is his hand at the small of my back, ghosting close enough that I can feel the heat from his hand that never actually makes contact.

I glance up to see the set of his jaw firm and his eyes narrowed as he glances ahead of him at the welcoming party to greet us.

Cara, the newly elected main leader of Erudite, and Elijah were the only ones that didn't look their faces were frozen and in danger of cracking should they show any kind of emotion. Elijah sent a smile my way from the back of the group and I felt Eric move closer to me. It was a slight shift that would be barely noticeable.

Tori was the one returning the greetings, her irritation for the entire deal was clear to me. I was parts amused, impatient and fascinated by the entire thing. Dauntless don't really have formalities with visitors. There are few times when the expected procedures are held to within the compound but I have heard from others that outside of it, the rigid structure and military preciseness is expected and adhered too. Which might explain the bearing and demeanor of all the Dauntless around me.

The lower floor of the Erudite tower seems to be made completely of a slight blue-tinged glass. Walls of the colored glass separate the different areas. Apparently, when the Erudite responsible for planning the coup of the government had discovered that they were going to be ousted and brought in for justice, they had barricaded themselves inside the tower along with the Dauntless traitors that followed the leaders. It had taken an assault to end it. The tower had gotten damaged but luckily there weren't many losses in Erudite besides those that fought back or were executed for their crimes. Because of this, the tower and from what I understand Erudite itself, has undergone major renovation and rebuilding.

We are given a tour of this new Erudite.

In an effort to at least seem more open, the entire first floor is constructed of rooms done mainly in that glass. The library, or at least a good portion of Erudite's library, is now open for display and use to all factions. A vast room with shelf after shelf of paper books can be browsed through. As we walk through it seems more people wearing blue occupy the room that is part library and part museum. There are quite a few Candor and the odd Abnegation. The same is found in the newest addition to the faction, a room dedicated to providing technological access to all factions. Computer terminals set up on sleek tables that are open for the public to come in and use for various things. Research, contacting others in the city, and school-aged kids to complete projects that require devices they might not have access to at home; these are just some of the things that can now be done freely. In this room, there are more of the last and all wearing the colors to signify a variety of different factions.

A few Dauntless are seen there. I couldn't help but to notice and say my observation out loud that they were all most likely there watching movies or accessing old archived sites instead of doing anything school related. The smirks and quiet chuckles of the other Dauntless around me let their agreement be known.

Maybe it is my Amity upbringing that I don't even bother to try and mask my emotions as we arrive in each new area. I am sure my face shows it plainly as I smile or my eyes widen. I make comments here or there and don't hold back when I have something snarky or sarcastic to say. I am mindful of how loud and obnoxious I can be though, so my volume has been greatly tamed. I also keep to the back of the group and Elijah keeps me company. At least he seems to be enjoying my breaking from the stuffiness that has infected everyone else.

Eric is at the front of the group but he glances our way often. Constantly shooting glares and annoyed squints at the two of us. At this point, I am not sure if it is because I fell back and away from him, that Elijah is with me, my behavior, or all of the above. I know that I am not trying to make him jealous or anything, though the thought of him feeling jealous does make a bit happy, I am just truly enjoying myself at the moment.

It wasn't something I thought would happen for my day in Erudite. I didn't think it was possible to use the word _'fun'_ at all in conjunction with Erudite. I think that if I were with anyone besides Elijah then I wouldn't be having the experience I am now. I am struck by how handsome Elijah is, especially when he smiles. There is a level of comfort with him, almost a familiarity as well. There are things about him that both draw me in and make me feel comfortable with him but also has me curious.

For instance, he is really built for someone in Erudite. It might just be natural but I think it is part genetics and part maintenance. He is by no means as built as someone in Dauntless, but for a doctor in Erudite he stands out. Then there is his personality. It is clear that he is intelligent, highly intelligent at that, but for all of that he doesn't lord it over me like any Erudite I have met before. He is free with his smiles and laughter. When I make what would be considered a crude joke considering where I am, he doesn't cringe or look offended, instead, he gives a deep chuckle.

We progressed from the main floor up to the third where offices and research stations were. No longer were the walls made of glass as they had been upon first entering. Cara gave explanations of why this was and I could understand the need for it to be able to provide the proper environment for the research being done. To aid in the spirit of being open there was a vid screen built into the wall that serviced as a security panel and to display a live feed of whatever is going on in those rooms.

 _This_ was where I realized that this tour was really something else.

Erudite was being inspected.

With each room we came too Cara would look to Eric with some unspoken question. He would either give a small nod or make no moves at all. It was random and you never knew which one he would pick. When he gave the signal, the security panel would be accessed and the image would be displayed of whatever was going on inside. The higher we got, the more top priority or important the things inside were. This was where it hit home to me how much sway Eric has at Erudite right now. Considering he was the one to put his hand on the Erudite security screen to access what has to be highly guarded projects.

I had never found out what exactly had Eric turn against the leaders and Erudite. I had always assumed it was because of the things that had occurred with divergents and what they wanted to do to the city. Seeing this and how another faction was treating him as if he was their leader or with as much respect as their leader, had me wondering if that had been the reason at all.

* * *

"There is a place that would be perfect to grab some lunch before we have to take the tram to where the medical offices are," Elijah said with a smile when I had grumbled under my breath after the inspection seemed bound to be going right through lunch.

We had been going for what seemed like hours already and I knew I was headed towards a category five _'bitchicanne_ ' if I didn't get food in me soon. His suggestion was music to my ears. I was about to agree wholeheartedly before I felt a hand on my arm and knew instantly who it was even before he spoke.

"Elijah, you will not mind that I'm stepping away with Devi," Eric said even as he was already guiding me away.

I caught Elijah's raised eyebrow that had to match my own. The words Eric said were usually put in the form of a question but, of course, not with Eric. That was all order or warning. Maybe both. Either way, it doesn't sit right with me at all especially since I really just want to sit somewhere and eat.

What was I thinking wearing these damn heels! I guess I didn't really think about all the walking I would be doing in them.

"Eric. I really am not in the mood for this." I hiss to him as he leads me into a room and then flicks on the light after he lets go of my arm.

I turn to face him, my arms crossed over my chest and am trying to glare at him. He locks the door without ever taking his off of me and a smile slithers across his face while he walks towards me. I drop my arms and take try to take a step back when he reaches out for me. My legs are no match for the reach of his arms and his finger grip my hips then jerk me towards him. My hands go to his chest as I look at him. The smile is gone and is replaced with that look I am coming to think is one he doesn't get often. Frustrated and on the verge of losing it.

"Do you have any idea…" he starts out speaking slowly, drawing out every word as if he is trying to reign himself in, "...how…" one of his hands moves to allow the backs of his fingers to drag along the side of neck, "..distracting you are to me?"

Eric stopped after he had moved his fingers to just under my chin, his eyes boring into mine. His forehead scrunched up in his obvious frustration along with his strained admission. I would be laughing at my apparent ability to unsettle the man that almost all of Dauntless fears; I _would_ laugh if I didn't feel exactly the same.

I do feel some smug pleasure at the fact that a little of what I had hoped for actually panned out today. I try not to let that show as I arch an eyebrow and get out a breathless question while Eric decided to use his lips on the skin of my neck he had just been teasing with his hand.

"How exactly am I being a distraction, Eric?"

His chest rumbles and I feel a huff of hot air on my neck but he doesn't move away. In fact, he begins to suck and nip at my neck while he pulls me tight against his body. I cry out and dig my nails into his shoulders when he nips and sucks just a little too hard, then glare at him when he pulls back with a satisfied grin on his face.

"You know exactly how you are distracting me, Devi. That was why you dressed how you did."

Heat from my temper felt like it might explode out of me, I could only hope it would knock the conceited asshole on his ass.

"I dress for me, Eric Coulter. What is it with you men thinking the world revolves around you? That anything and everything a woman might do has to be about you? Get over yourself because that is just not who I am."

I cringe a little because that is usually the case, but damn if he didn't hit the nail on the head about what happened today.

He lifts a disbelieving eyebrow at me and hips lips tilt in amusement. "So you dressing like this and getting all buddy buddy with Elijah wasn't to make me jealous?"

Screw waiting for the ability to knock him back with some imaginary power, my foot comes down on his hard.

"Pendejo!" I scream as he grunts and releases me a little, enough for me to shove him away from me. I take the opportunity and start towards the door. "I don't play with people like that, Eric. But I am not going to apologize for actually getting along with someone and enjoying myself. You don't own me. If that is how things are going to be you can just forget it."

Eric catches me around the waist and pulls me against his chest, locking me in and I can barely hear the words he is saying against my hair.

"Fucked up past relationships, Devi. I...I _am_ glad the two of you are getting along. No matter how I may seem right now...that is important to me."

The tension leaves me a little as I realize that is about as close to an apology I am going to get. "Do you two...I mean are you friends or something?"

Eric chuckles and squeezes me briefly before he moves us towards the door. "Something like that."

He lets go of me to open the door and looks back at me. "Something like that? No other explanation?"

He shrugs with a smirk. "Oh, I am sure he will get to it during your time together." Then he gets serious and cups the side of my face briefly. "If he doesn't, or actually even if he does, I promise I will talk more about it later. We need to get back out there now."

With a sigh of frustration, I nod and follow him out. Elijah isn't far away and is on his tablet, leaning against the wall. He looks up when we come out and his eyes flicker between the two of us.

Eric stops in front of him briefly and leans in to whisper something to him. Elijah just looks at me and nods with a smile. Before he moves off, Eric looks back at me and winks. Elijah pushes away from the wall and I watch with a little smile as Eric is slightly limping.

I can't help the small chuckle at that. I look over to Elijah who is looking at me oddly. His eyes are on my neck and for a second I am confused as to why he would be focused there. Then I remember and it makes me want to run after Eric and do him more damage. I grit my teeth though and countdown trying to reign my temper in.

"You mentioned food?" I try to ask brightly after I open my eyes again. He is looking down at me, his blue eyes showing amusement and nods.

"Yes. I was thinking of a place that would be perfect for you." He has that smirk again that just seems so familiar but I just can't place it. It is making me feel like when I do I will feel like an idiot for not seeing it before.

* * *

"Really?" I groan when I catch the name of the establishment stamped in silver on the fancy blue menus. I look at Elijah and see him fighting laughter.

"I believe they thought rather hilarious." He says with a shrug.

I shake my head and open the menu. "Well, it failed. Completely. Utterly. Just fail. I thought Erudite aren't even supposed to know what a joke is?"

Elijah pretends to be offended. "Hey, some of us have excellent senses of humor. And I believe it wasn't so much a joke as extreme sarcasm."

I chuckle along with him and eye the menu.

The name of the modern and sleek restaurant is called _The Meating Place_. And despite the spelling, it is actually entirely vegetarian.

As bad as the name is I cannot fault the items on the menu and my mouth is already watering as I try to narrow down my choice.

"Now my only issue is what do I _not_ want to try," I mutter but still loud enough for Elijah to hear.

He gives a nod of agreement from behind his menu. "Well, we could order a few items and share. They also do a few family-style platters."

I smile and shut the menu. "That sounds good. I'll let you pick then."

A server materializes just seconds after I say this and Elijah smoothly gives our order. I take the opportunity to take in everything around me while sipping from the water that is in a fairly large wine glass. It is all so fancy for somewhere to eat in my opinion. A little cold feeling but I guess that is just Erudite.

I look back to Elijah and see he is watching me take everything in. He lifts his own water to take a drink, looking completely at ease, lounging back into his chair even. Polished masculinity with the carefree smile of an amity. It hits me so hard that I just blurt it out.

"You look like you would fit right in at Amity." I almost slap my hand over my mouth. It takes us both by surprise but he just chuckles at my horrified expression.

He nods as he sets his water glass down. "That might be because my test indicated Amity was where I should go."

"Oh," I say dumbly, not sure how else to respond then give in to curiosity. "Why did you stay?"

Here the smile fades and he looks intently at his water glass, his long fingers turning the glass by the short glass stem. "Has Eric told you anything of his life before he transferred?"

The question startles me and I am relieved when the server comes back with the first course Elijah ordered for us. He nodded to the young man as he placed before each of us a bowl of a gazpacho soup using what was advertised on the menu as a 'bright summer vegetable medley'.

I waited for the server to step away before answering.

"Eric is not exactly forthcoming in anything regarding himself. He is a master at bullying my entire life history out of me though." I grumble and pick up my spoon, dipping it into the bowl.

Despite where the conversation is going I can't resist giving in to my stomachs loud request to fill it.

I look up and see Elijah has a small smile playing around his lips. "That isn't anything new with my brother."

The declaration, so sudden but also so fucking obvious given all the hints and similarities, knocks the breath from me, causing me to swallow the soup incorrectly. I cough and tap my hand to my chest a few times, drawing a few eyes to us before I finally get my breath back again.

"Your…." I clear my throat, grab the water and take a big gulp. Swallowing I look back to him, his eyes are full of apology and understanding as he looks at me. Looks at me with those same piercing damn blue eyes that Eric has. "Your brother. Well, that certainly explains why you looked vaguely familiar."

"I apologize. I thought he had told you that much at least."

I shook my head with my lips pursed. "Nope. Sure didn't." I say shortly. Then I take a breath and get a grip. I remember his words about how my getting along with Elijah was important to him. "He did say it was important we got along though."

Elijah nods and smiles sadly before he takes a breath. "Eric and I were raised to be very private. I am older by four years and with our parents absent much of our lives, I also became more than a brother. Sometimes this rubbed him the wrong way, me being both a brother and parent, but overall we have always been close. There were a few times that relationship was strained, to the point that I wasn't sure we would ever be able to return to it again."

I stayed quiet as he spoke softly. I could sense he was wanting to get it out and if I interrupted him with questions, I ruin this chance to know Eric better.

"It isn't hard to see that Erudite have completely different ideals about most everything, including family. Maybe it was always the Amity in me but I did not and could not hold to that. When we were younger, we were often left with other children of our age whose parents had a close connection to our own. Very few of those children became close to us, but there was one."

Here he paused and there was something about the pause that had my stomach churning. He was collecting himself. So I let him as we finished our soup in silence. The bowls were taken away and he cleared his throat.

He smiled at me, genuine but with grief and regret in those blue eyes. "Her name was Julietta and she was just a year younger than Eric. We were together so often, she became family to us. As we all got older and entered school, our activities always seemed to be intertwined. More often than not she was at our apartment, her parents were just as absent as ours but she didn't have an older brother to look after her."

The next hour was spent in spurts of Elijah telling me the story in between eating. I could tell this was hard for Elijah and felt horrible for letting him continue but I couldn't help myself. I needed to know even though before he finished I had long ago guessed the ending.

Or at least I thought I had guessed at everything.

I was staring at Elijah with tears burning behind my eyes but trying not to break down. Trying to register the words that he had just said. Julietta, Jules as he lovingly called her, _hadn'_ t left Eric broken hearted like I had assumed she had. It wasn't the love triangle that ended with the girl choosing one brother and riding off into the sunset with him while leaving the other in tatters.

Yes, she had chosen Elijah. They had always loved each other but it grew deeper than either could have imagined. Enough for Elijah to know he couldn't possibly leave Jules and stayed in Erudite, knowing she was meant for the faction and that he would never ask her to sacrifice that herself.

Yes, the choice of one brother over the other had greatly strained the two, to the point where it had gotten physical at one point. But Eric, Elijah said, had come to realize that he loved Jules; they just weren't meant to be together. Eric admitted himself, when he came to Elijah one night to give his blessing to the two of them, that he wouldn't have stayed for her. Eric recognized that if he had truly felt so deeply about her, then he would have at least considered it, but he never did.

Before Eric even left Erudite, the three had been able to heal and reconnect. Elijah and Jules planned to wait to move beyond being more than good friends and get married until things were more settled. She still had to choose herself, and Erudite frowned heavily on any kind of relationships between members and dependents. Elijah had also wanted Jules to have time to explore and grow, if that is what she wanted. He talked of the plans Jules had, brushing off his insistence that she needed to spread her own wings.

She never got to see those plans carried out. Shortly after Eric had chosen Dauntless, she passed away to an illness she had been secretly fighting for almost two years.

There had been experimental treatments, of course. Elijah made a veiled reference to an offer from the old leadership to get her into those treatments but Jules had told him she wasn't going to accept.

The second time the brothers almost came to blows, and the time Elijah thought Eric would never forgive him, was the day Julietta passed away. It was during Eric's initiation. He had gone to Dauntless with the assurance from both that she would be taking the treatments offered.

Neither wanted Eric to worry and to do his best to reach his goal of becoming a leader. Julietta passed away the day Eric finished training. Elijah had gotten word from contacts in leadership there that he had also been offered leadership. He said that it was almost as if she waited, just for that, to know he made it and was happy.

Our lunch had long been cleared away. I am sure that the wild mushroom with extra virgin olive oil drizzle flatbread and eggplant parmigiana were amazing, but I couldn't say for sure. It had all tasted like cardboard to me.

I am trying hard not to break down and make a scene when I feel Elijah cover my hand with is own. His eyes showing his own tears threatening. He smiles at me and pats my hand.

"How did you get past it all?" I ask finally in a faint whisper.

"It is amazing how children can bring families back together." He replies and the smile becomes genuine but the answer just confuses the hell out of me. "He won't tell you this, Devi. Maybe because he doesn't like the thought of what he thinks was him failing Jules, but before he transferred he was approached by leadership to recruit him. Their first attempt was a promise of power in the new regime."

He gratefully let me catch my breath and bearings with this new twist and I nodded to him when I felt like he could go on. He truly was Amity, to be comforting _me_ in all this.

"That was actually pretty laughable, to both Eric and anyone that knew him. Eric saw through all the bullshit and knew that whatever promises they made could be taken with a grain of salt. The whole divergent thing, in Eric's words, was bullshit. We never believed in any of that."

I nodded in understanding as he continued. "The second attempt, now that...that wasn't so easily turned down. Jules had hidden it at first but we both knew something was off. We just didn't know what. Jeanine knew just where to hit Eric. That was how we found out she was sick, was through Jeanine and she was anything but tactful in her estimation that Jules would survive. Jeanine offered every resource and treatment available to Julietta. Nothing else could have gotten him on board."

"Why then? Why did she refuse it?" I gasped out in agony.

"The chances of any of that _actually_ working were so very small, Devi. Jeanine was desperate to offer it but Eric was just as desperate to grasp at it. The thing about experimental treatments is that they are just that, experiments. As a doctor, I recognize the need for these trials. But as the person who loved that girl with every breath, no matter that there was a small chance it would work, I couldn't watch her go through that. She didn't want to go through that. Jules….." He stopped and looked wistfully at me. "You know you actually remind me of her in some ways."

He stopped and blushed and then went on. "Not physically." He hurried to reassure me. "You might have both been what one would call, a latina, you are both very different from each other. There is the same vibrancy though. The same strength and independence. I can admit I don't know you well yet, just what Eric has told me, but you seem comfortable in who you are. Jules was a quiet kind of strong. She was kind and loved to laugh but she wouldn't back down from what she felt was right. Jules could not and would not be the thing that was held over Eric's head. She would not be leverage for the horrible things we all knew were being planned. We both knew that the chances of those treatments curing her were so small as to be non-existent. The side effects would have left her in a worse state than the actual disease she was dying from. She made the decision and I supported her. We kept it from Eric and I knew there would be fallout from that. Her last request was to find a way to make things right, but to make sure I told Eric to never let himself be controlled again."

"You said that…" I trailed off in confusion.

"After informing Eric of her death and her message to him, I didn't hear from Eric for several months. I heard reports around the faction that he was seen often with Jeanine. There were whispers that something was brewing. I had thought that instead of freeing him like we had hoped, it had wounded him and made him so angry, that he went all in with the plans. It shocked me when I received a message from Eric asking to meet. It shocked me, even more, to know that he not only found a way to bring them down and had been working towards that; but he had a way to give us...me...back a part of Julietta."

"It seems that when she first got sick, she had gone through all the options of treatment and determined that almost all of those would leave her unable to have children. It would either leave her sterile or her body too weak to carry. So one of the first things she did was to have some of her eggs harvested. I can only guess that it was done when she was still trying to come to terms with things, that she forgot to tell anyone in the hard months that followed. Eric found out and once again, it was from Jeanine. She realized she lost her hold on Eric the minute Julietta passed away and had been scrambling for something to bring him back. The old promises of power in Dauntless and Erudite weren't doing it. She combed through the records and found that Julietta had preserved several viable eggs, then she held them for ransom, as they would say."

I couldn't help the low growl that escaped me and Elijah chuckled darkly. "For being supposedly the smartest person in the city, the bitch was stupid." I snarled out.

"Indeed. She couldn't have made a worse move. He played along for a little while, got the ball rolling for me. The instant we knew the surrogate had moved past the danger zone and Eric had gotten her to a secure location, he unleashed hell on Jeanine and Erudite. After that, our relationship was still strained. He made it clear it was only for Jules. That he still hadn't forgiven me and I understood. I was grateful. When Karen, the surrogate, went into labor, he rushed to be with me at the birth. He was there when Olivia was born and when he held her for the first time, I think it was the first step in us being able to move past things, or at least forward.."

"How old is she now?" I ask with a small smile at his beaming one.

"She is twenty months old going on sixteen." He laughs and shakes his head. "Not even two and already running the house."

Elijah's phone goes off and he stops to take it out then look at it. He smirks and shakes his head.

"It's good to see that he found someone, Devi." Then he slips his phone back into the inner lining of his suit jacket and looks at me. I am blushing, at his last comment. "You are going to have to be patient with him I am afraid. He never was the best at being social or having social graces and I am sure he has already made a million mistakes by now. I can say without a doubt that he wouldn't even make an effort if he didn't truly want to be with you. He especially wouldn't be inviting just anyone to have dinner with Olivia and I."

That last bombshell is dropped on me as he stands and offers me his hand. I take it but I can still feel the shockwave hovering on me.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So, I had been wracking my brain for the name of the actor who I always saw in my mind's eye for Elijah. Low and behold it hit me hard when I got a craving to watch some True Blood. So loves, if you need a mental image of who Eric's brother is….it is Eric…the vampire…the one and only Alexander Skarsgård!**

Here is a new chapter for you to consume and I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: 'Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.' (James O'Barr, The Crow) V Roth is still Mother to this world and I am just one of the children singing my own tune into the night.

 **Rating M ( Language, Violence, There will be smut, Angst, Tragedy, Romance, Fluff)**

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

"You are looking extremely happy. I take it that the tour and meetings went well?" Tori asked as we all gathered once again at the Erudite tower and headed towards a conference room that we would all use to go over some last minute details from each group.

I smiled at her widely and nodded. "Better than I had imagined."

The lunch hour had been emotional but it gave me an insight into Eric. I also felt that Elijah and I had really bonded as well. We didn't go too deeply into anything else regarding Eric and the past.

He did let me know that part of the reason the Erudite are responding to Eric the way they are, is mostly because of him being viewed as a savior of sorts to the faction. But there is also the fact that before Eric had transferred to Dauntless there had only been two people that could rival or beat Jeanine's IQ. Eric was one of them and Cara, the new main leader, was the other.

In Erudite, they regarded that above all others. It was how Jeanine got her place as leader despite her not being suited for the position at all. In Erudite's eyes, even if he is Dauntless now, Eric deserves a position of power there. It was also why Jeanine had been desperate to get him to Dauntless and out of the running for being a threat to her position but still keep him tied to Erudite.

While he is proud of Eric, both the brothers find this amusing and ridiculous as hell. They aren't above using it to their advantage though. Which is how I think he has been able to get things for the clinic and how I believe he is getting everything he can for Dauntless now.

I walk into the conference room beside Tori, quietly talking about some of the things I am hoping actually happen that Eli and I have worked out. The table in the conference room is a long glass rectangular thing with that same thick blue-tinged glass that can be found everywhere here. There are two white chairs at each end and either side has evenly spaced chairs along it.

Eric is standing at one end of the table and when he sees me walk in beside Tori, he pulls out one of the chairs. At first, I think it is for Tori, considering the other end already has the two main leaders of Erudite at theirs. But she breaks off from me, with a smile tilting her lips, and heads to the first chair on the long edge.

I pause, confused for a second and thrown off. Eric raises an eyebrow and barely beckons me with his head. I feel as if every eye is on me as I walk to him, slide into the seat and then feel him push my chair in for me before sliding into his own seat. A glance around and I don't _see_ anyone overtly looking at what just happened, well besides Tori, but I feel as this was a display of some kind.

I am probably making more out of it than what it really meant but regardless it has my stomach fluttering. My hands are shaking slightly in my lap and I turn my head towards Eric. The corners of his eyes are wrinkled as he looks me over with worry in them.

"You good?" He asks lowly with that same emotion in the tone.

I smile and nod in answer, not trusting my voice. He exhales through his nose just a little bit too forcefully as if he was holding his breath, and he briefly takes my hand in his, giving it a squeeze before we both let go and turn our attention to the others filling the room and taking their seats.

* * *

Elijah has a car that Eric and I join him in directly after that final meeting. I watch the sector go by as we drive through it onto the way where Erudite have actual houses for families or those of some higher standing in the faction. I am surprised that they have something like that honestly. I thought that much like Dauntless or Candor, they would all live in apartments inside the main compound.

I am in the passenger seat that both brothers insisted I take while Eric is in the backseat. We are all talking about the normal living situation in Erudite.

"They honestly just started opening up and having more of the houses available. Your thoughts about Erudite mainly living in apartments were correct. That was what we grew up in. It was easier for the families and those caretakers that would be the ones to take care of the kids." Eric

said from behind us.

Elijah nods. "You'll see that the ones who choose to live in the houses are the ones like me, who would rather not have other people raising their kids while they barely have a presence in their life. My stipulation to heading up the department and helping leadership out was that I would be able to set my hours so that I could be the one to parent Olivia."

"While Amity has houses, there were a few people that lived in the huge complex. Choosing to have single rooms instead of apartment-like housing. Those were usually the single members that either just went through initiation or worked in some capacity at the compound." I say with a shrug, trying to let them it wasn't a totally foreign concept.

That would probably have been where I lived if I had stayed. Well, before I married Vicente anyways. I actually shudder at the thought entirely.

"What about the kids too young for school but whose parents work out in the fields?" Eli asks with a brief look to me as he makes a turn into the housing subdivision.

"There were women that had childcare set up in their homes. They could have as many as ten kids in their home from sun up to just before sundown. They usually had a few helpers, some of them older dependents, to assist in whatever they needed. Honestly, Erudite aren't the only ones that can have parents to get caught up in their jobs and be away from their families for the majority of the time. Before my parents passed they were the same. We had Abuela though, so we didn't have to go to the childcare centers."

We continue to talk, mainly Elijah and myself with Eric adding something in everyone once in a while until we finally pull up to his house. All the houses in the subdivision have a uniform look to them. They are all very sleek and geometrical. They almost remind me of the Abnegation houses, which are all just big grey concrete rectangles. Erudite use the combination of rectangles and squares for a very symmetrical look, but they are a combination of large windows, a warm beige stone, and stucco. Materials that I am familiar with being used in some Amity homes. It turns out that this housing area is newer and the reason the materials look familiar is that they come from my old faction. Amity has even been contracted build them.

When we stop, the nerves hit and hard. I am intimidated and nervous about meeting the little girl that means so much to Eric. I can admit I am also a little unsure about it. Elijah obviously tried to reassure me that Eric had never really felt ' _that way'_ about Jules but there is a big part of me that wonders.

All my insecurities and questions are all, not forgotten really, but set aside the moment we enter the house and I catch sight of the little girl that so obviously has the two Coulters wrapped around her little finger. I immediately understand why.

She is beyond adorable. One look at her father and uncle and she completely forgets about the puzzle blocks she was so absorbed with on the living room floor. She shot to her feet and launched herself towards her daddies outstretched arms. Her shoulder length chocolate brown curls bouncing and her laughter and smile making her chubby cheeks show deep dimples in her warm bronze skin.

Elijah barely gets a hug from her before she is already trying to launch herself from his arms straight into Eric's. He catches her with a laugh and starts to talk to her. He never once engages in what is called baby talk but he starts asking her things that make me almost think I am in some alternate reality, they are just so out of character for how I have seen him be.

Elijah moved to speak with her nanny, Connie, about her day and just the general updates you would expect from a parent. It is very apparent that his main focus was she generally happy during the time he was away. The older Erudite smiles at him with reassurance and I guess this is something that she is regularly asked when she has the little girl.

I hear my name being called, drawing me from listening to the conversation between father and nanny and look to where Eric has his hand held out to me, calling me over. I hear him telling Olivia my name and for her to say hello. I walk slowly to his side and watch the little toddlers eyes focused on me. Looking a combination of shy and appraising.

Caramel colored eyes are looking at me with the familiar intensity that both her father and uncle have and it throws me off a little bit so I don't return the greeting right away. Her cheeks dimple as she smiles at me and I find myself returning the greeting. There is a slight hesitation from her, a look of concentration and then she holds her arms out in a gesture I recognize; her wanting me to hold her. The moment she is transferred into my arms, I melt.

* * *

Most of the dinner was spent with Olivia in one of our laps, though she spent a good amount of it in mine. During it, the Erudite in both Elijah and Eric could be found as they asked questions or interacted with Olivia. Trying to engage her in ways that were developmental in some fashion.

I found out the reason Eric was able to understand me when I speak in Spanish was from Jules. She was bilingual as well and it was something that Elijah was promoting in their daughter.

I also found out why Eric never responded in Spanish, his accent was….pretty horrible. It was funny actually that it was so terrible. There had been a joke between the three friends about it. Elijah's was pretty good. When I joined in the conversation with Olivia, teaching her new words, I swear Eric was pouting at his inability to roll his r's.

Olivia's energy, which I learned she had loads of, started to fade. I realized it must be well past her normal bedtime.

"Say goodnight to Devi and Eric, Olivia." Eli instructed his daughter with a smile as she was curled up in his arms where he is sitting on the couch.

She yawns even as she is scooting out of his lap and toddles over to Eric, who scoops her up, causing her to giggle.

"'Night, Eric." She tells him in her soft voice.

"Night, princess. I'll see you next week for dinner."

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

My heart feels like it is going to burst with how the entire interaction makes me feel. Then that gets even more intense when the little girl makes her way over to give me a hug and tell me goodnight as well.

"'Night, Devi."

"Good night, ángel," I replied as she snuggled into me.

Olivia pulled back and smiled at me. "You come again?"

My smile widened. I wanted to laugh even if I was unsure how to answer. It seems that the ability to make a command and masquerade it as a question is a genetic one. Olivia certainly inherited that from Eric.

Before I can reply, said uncle replies for me. "Of course she will, princess."

Elijah chuckles as he scoops up the little girl and takes her off to get ready for bed. Both Olivia and Eric had been wearing smug little smiles after his declaration.

With Olivia off to get ready for bed, Eric fills the wine glass that I had only been sipping from and pulls me close to his side on the couch we had been sitting on. It is an intimate gesture that I wonder how it doesn't feel awkward at all to me. Considering all our interactions so far have been so charged with tension of all kinds. There is still the heavy attraction and the feeling being nearing him, it's buzzing underneath my skin. But it is faint with just the pleasure of being with him like this.

I can feel that he must be feeling the same thing in how he melds into me and the couch. Truly relaxed and not holding himself so stiffly. Even his face is relaxed. It is funny how you don't realize how tense someone is until just the absence of it seems to transform them. He looks younger and if it is at all possible, even more handsome.

Eric takes a deep drink of his glass of whiskey then lets out a long sigh. His eyes close briefly and he looks at me when I ask him softly if he is ok.

His lips tilt up. "Right now, fucking fantastic." His arm tightens around my waist a little at those words. "Tomorrow though is going to be another story."

I take a sip of my own wine with my eyebrow raised in question. After I swallow I voice it. "What is tomorrow?"

"Abnegation." He says, a sneer in his voice. "Tomorrow I have an even earlier start to the day to be at The Hub where will be starting out from."

"You aren't just having meetings with them?"

He gives a tired shrug. "It's what we are calling them. Meetings, tours….but they are all really the same thing."

My earlier guess had been correct that Erudite was being inspected, but why was Abnegation?

"So they are being inspected like Erudite was today?"

He looks over at me as he drinks from his glass and there is a smile along with pride in his eyes. After he swallows he nods. Elijah had walked into the room and grabbed a drink for himself from the small hidden bar in the room.

"What are we talking about?" He asked as he took up a lounging position.

"We are talking about the inspections that aren't to be called inspections because God's forbid the city knows how bad we all fucked up." Eric drawls out sarcastically before draining his glass.

"You make it sound like every faction is having them."

"They are," both men reply in unison.

They see my confusion so explain. This falls on Eli after Eric waves him to it, content to just have his arm wrapped around me while listening.

I felt bad for how oblivious I have been to what is going on until Elijah told me that this all wasn't being publicly announced. It isn't being hidden either, anyone that cares to go over the public records for the government meetings, especially directly after the whole Erudite shakedown, would be able to know this.

Basically when everything was going on the faction leaders or representatives of all factions were held accountable for a number of things that had, in essence, led to the state the city had been in. Elijah didn't go into all the details but gave examples.

Abnegation has allowed corruption in the form of Marcus Eaton, who was ousted as a result. They had also made decisions that were going to lead to another war brewing if a few hadn't come forward in warning, with the factionless.

Erudite, we all knew. Experiments, hoarding of supplies that could help the city or extorting other factions for those supplies in order to get more power.

Dauntless was the abuse of power that would have led them to be the lap dogs and muscle for Erudite.

Candor turned out there were several in the faction that was helping to use the law they were supposed to uphold to help Erudite and Dauntless.

Amity was the refusal to take sides or provide information that could have stopped things with Erudite well before they started to spiral. It also turned out that my old faction had known and ignored the actions of factionless that were trying to build up for their own coup.

Every faction is guilty of something. So in an effort to move forward, an agreement was made that every faction has the right to perform inspections of the others to make sure that things that had been ordered to be corrected have been done.

Dauntless had two of these without me knowing. The first was from Abnegation the day of my blow up on Eric. That morning it had been Abnegation who Marlene burst into the office to announce had arrived. The other had been from Erudite.

It sounded like there were specific things each faction were concerned with or in charge of overseeing during their inspections. It made me curious enough that I made a mental note to look the information up myself when I could.

With Eric needing to be up early, we didn't stay at Elijah's for much longer. He had called a car for us to take back to Dauntless, made me promise that I would come for dinner next week and even got both of us to agree to come earlier than dinner to spend more time with Olivia.

Like this morning there was a driver, but unlike in the morning, Eric didn't keep his distance. He didn't do more than hold me close and run his fingers lightly over my bare knee. He was tired I could tell but he was also deep in thought.

"Was the trip to the wall during our initiation the last time you were in Amity?"

"Mmhmm." I hum my agreement quietly with my eyes closed, enjoying the touch. "Why?"

He lets out a quiet sigh and I look at him.

"The rest of the week will be filled with more of what I had today. Abnegation takes up two days and then the factionless sector another. Plus we have the patrol stations to do. Which means I will hardly be in Dauntless for the remainder of the week."

I feel disappointment flood me at this. It means I won't be seeing Eric at all.

He nods slightly. "So, I was thinking…" he says slowly while his thumb traces circled over the fabric of my dress on my thigh, "I was hoping you would join me when I have to go to Amity this weekend. I will have to stay overnight so we can do what needs to be done over two days instead of trying to cram it all in one."

I tensed at this, debating. I didn't relish the thought of going back to my old faction. As far as I was concerned there was nothing there for me to draw me back. There was also the part of me that I had been denying, that some small bit was scared to go back. Scared of what it would make me feel or what I would discover there.

"I understand if you can't," Eric said but in his voice, I picked up that he didn't really, there was even a bit of annoyance in it. There was also something else that I couldn't place but wasn't concerned about.

I focused on what I knew was there and how it felt like a challenge to me. A dare. Unspoken but if it weren't dark I am sure I could see it in his eyes.

"Do you really want me to go with you?"

He leans in close so that his nose brushes my ear. "Would I be asking if I didn't?"

I huff at the smartass tone and reply but also at the feel of his teeth nipping and tugging slightly on my ear.

"I'll go, but I refuse to be forced through a tour of the fields." I breathlessly give my first stipulation.

He chuckles quietly but nods against the skin of my neck where he had moved his attention to. He pulled back and moved my hair to my other shoulder, completely uncovering the side he is attending too.

"I can live with that." He agreed in a purr before placing a kiss to my shoulder that is bare as well since I had taken off the blazer I was wearing.

I swallow and close my eyes. "And you better be prepared for what a lack of carbs is going to do to me because I refuse to eat any bread while I am there. Which is going to suck."

He gives a small growl, his arm pulls me closer and his teeth nip at my collarbone. "Noted, but you won't have to avoid it if they have done as they have been instructed."

My forehead wrinkles and I pull back, trying to get him to look at me. He resists at first then pulls back with a scowl.

"What do you mean?"

He shrugs nonchalantly. "They aren't allowed to serve dependents or visitors anything that has been laced with peace serum anymore."

My breath catches and I watch him carefully. "Dependents….you mean like dependents of other factions right? Like when they take baked goods to school and offer them?"

"Well, that definitely has stopped but no." He says and looks me dead in my eye. "No, I meant that they are no longer able to give any of their own dependents the serum. At least only in extreme cases meeting certain scenarios and then it will be documented and reviewed. They are no longer able to use that as a means to control the faction but especially the dependents. That's abuse and will not be tolerated."

"Eric…" I whisper, a bit overwhelmed.

I can't continue. I want to ask him why but can't. I want to ask him if this was his doing but I don't. Something in me tells me it was part his doing. Something also tells me that it was partly because of me but I can't confirm that or think about it.

It scares me to even have the thought fluttering in my mind. It feels too big. Too monumental. It also scares me so much because I want to be right so badly that if I am not it might crush me. Because if I am right then just maybe he feels the same way I am coming to see I truly feel for him. That this isn't just some intense physical thing between us.

 _Stick with what you know, Nunez_.

I reach around and grab his uniform jacket and pull him to me. To hell with being a stick up the ass Erudite.

I must have said that aloud because I swear he grumbled out an agreed or something like that in between us coming up for air again after the first kiss I initiated. In this, at least, we were both on even and familiar ground.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: We are getting near the end! I hope everyone has enjoyed so far. I know I have loved writing Devi and Eric's relationship.**

 **Disclaimer: I own naught but my own plot and the crazy stick figures I toss within.**

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

The first rays of morning light were streaming in through the window at an unfamiliar angle. The sheets of the bed had a different feel against my skin. For a moment it was disorienting, and I lifted my head to look around. To get my bearings.

Movement from across the room caught my attention and I saw Eric buttoning his uniform pants up and watching me carefully. Warily even. Knowing why he was doing that, I huffed and threw myself back in frustration. Nearly as much frustration as I had felt drifting to sleep last night even if it was in his arms.

"Dios, te dije que no estaba borracho anoche." I said in a pout.

I could hear his chuckle at that. I rolled to my side, propped up on an elbow and watched him get dressed. It was, as promised, ridiculously early. The sky was still mostly dark outside the windows of his bedroom. He tucked the tight black undershirt into his pants. Like yesterday at Erudite, he was wearing the more formal uniform that the leaders wore when dealing with other factions.

"Yeah, you told me you weren't drunk, but the track record with you drinking and waking up clueless is pretty damn bad. Excuse me for erring on the side of caution with you, Devi." He had grabbed his boots and came over to the side of the bed I was on, sitting on the edge and pulling me up while he was talking.

I let out a sigh as he framed my face with his hands and kissed me softly at first then it turning deeper with all the frustration of still not doing what we both want so much. I was coming to see that when Eric set his mind on something there was nothing that could sway him.

Not even a naked woman, fresh from the shower, in his bed.

There had been some heavy making out in the car and when we got to his apartment. Then that iron will had snapped into place and he had made the declaration that he had already told me once he wasn't going to let anything happen if I was drunk or even if I had been drinking. He was going to keep with it.

My temper had flared and I had been about to go home but he convinced me to stay. I had also come up with a plan that would hopefully make him forget that declaration. So I had taken him up on the offer of staying and even of his shower. I completely left the shirt and boxers he had set out for me on the bathroom counter and laid myself out on his bed. When he came back into the bedroom I had seen that wild beast that lurks in him just wanting to get out. He had stomped into the bathroom, grabbed the clothes I left behind and stalked his way to me.

There had been a wrestling session that still didn't break him no matter how much I tried to rub up against him. I finally gave in and put the damn shirt and shorts on. I had to admit it had been nice to be wrapped up in his arms and falling asleep together.

Eric pulls back from the kiss with a groan as an alarm goes off on his phone. He picks it up, looks at it, and then looks back to me. He smirks at me.

"If you hurry up and get dressed I have just enough time to treat you to that shit you like from the deli."

Well, that is an offer I don't intend to refuse. He laughs as I get tangled up in the covers and almost fall as I leap off the side of the bed in my hurry.

* * *

 _Chairman Andrew: Amity Elder Cain. The Chair recognizes you. You may proceed._

 _Amity Elder Cain: Thank you, Chairman. I would like to address the complaints put forth against Amity in regards to the use of Peace Serum. I must confess that this is not a new complaint, it is well documented that the faction of Candor has always held a grievance against my faction on this matter. We recognize that they believe the peace we maintain is a lie. That is their opinion, but I would remind everyone gathered here that from the time of the cities founding, this has always been our way. Each faction has the leave to govern themselves as they see fit._

 _Dauntless Leader Eric: Point of order._

 _Chairman Andrew: Dauntless Leader Eric. We recognize you. Please proceed with your point of order._

 _Dauntless Leader Eric: The entire purpose of these proceedings is because of the fact that each faction has been left to govern itself as they saw fit. It has led to where we are now. Our city was on the brink of war. What any of our factions have done prior to today should have no bearing on how we are to continue if we want to truly move forward._

 _Chairman Andrew: Well said. I would like to remind Amity that we have all admitted change must happen to be able to move forward. We were all in agreement of this, however, if you wish to continue, please do so. The floor is yours again._

 _Amity Elder Cain: Thank you. You are correct, Eric, that we need to find a way to move forward. Our concern is that these sanctions are coming from a place of prejudice and pettiness. While the use of peace serum might be hard for others to understand, for us it is a way of life. As much as seeking knowledge is to Erudite. As much as honing one's body to be a weapon is to Dauntless. As much as dedicating long hours of toil is only one of many ways Abnegation gives in sacrifice. As much as regularly undergoing the rite of truth is to Candor. For Amity, it is our way to ensure that we can help maintain peace and harmony, for all of the city. It helps to rid us impurity of spirit so that we can connect to others with kindness and love._

 _Chairman Andrew: Thank you, Cain. I would like to remind everyone that the argument is not to fully remove peace serum from use within Amity, only that the following conditions are placed on the use._

 _The first is that Amity will no longer serve peace serum to those visiting their faction. This means that they will have to make available alternatives to the items that normally have serum laced into them for these visitors. It will still be expected that visitors maintain the peace and failure to do so could see them being administered an injection of the serum, but under close monitoring and only under certain conditions._

 _The second is that Amity will no longer be allowed to give any dependent peace serum in items of food or drink. If it is felt that an injection of peace serum is required, then a case for that will be submitted and will be reviewed by the person in charge of handling those cases of discipline. It will be imperative that someone highly trained in being able to determine the correct dosage for each individual case is present._

 _Are there any further arguments for or against these sanctions?_

 _Chairman Andrew: Dauntless Leader Tori. We recognize you and give you the floor._

 _Dauntless Leader Tori: Thank you. I would like to address the last statements of the Amity Elder Cain. You claim that the use of this peace serum is what allows you to maintain kindness, love, and peace. I ask where is the kindness when you have taken the will of others away? As far as the adults of the faction, I am willing to allow that as an adult, they have the right to choose what to put in their bodies. Peace serum is a mood, mind and even physically altering drug. Think about that. It is a drug and as such should be handled with care. The proposal before us now is not one submitted out of a long-held grudge or prejudice. I would remind everyone that this was proposed by Erudite and seconded by both Dauntless and Abnegation. Erudite has provided data from various testing compiled over years to be able to safely say that the administration of this drug is dangerous but especially to dependents._

 _Amity Elder Cain: Point of order._

 _Chairman Andrew: We recognize you Amity Elder Cain. Proceed with your point of order._

 _Amity Elder Cain: I would like to point out that it is years of testing and data that led to divergent experiments. Experiments that were highly illegal and in the end proved to be based on false data._

 _Chairman Andrew: Quiet! Order, please. Thank you. Amity, I remind you that the matter of divergents and the illegal activities regarding those has been closed. The ones responsible have been punished. There will be no further mention of that or them in these chambers. This is a warning to you all, but consider this a final warning to you, Cain. I will not allow these proceedings to be filled with reminders of the past we are working hard to move forward from._

 _I give the floor back to Dauntless._

 _Dauntless Leader Tori: Thank you, Chairman. I would just like to conclude with the following questions, or thoughts, for us all to consider. When it comes to the use of peace serum; Where is this kindness when a dependent chooses the faction they belong? The ones we tell to trust the test, who do and it isn't Amity they receive. Where is your kindness when their bodies are riddled with pain and their minds are clouded with agony when they no longer have the peace serum they have been fed every day of their lives? You preach love and peace but there is none for those that aren't in your faction. You purposely make the ones that leave you to suffer, in punishment, because they dare to want something different. Where is your understanding and love? Where is the kindness in holding functions where all the dependents of a certain age are called together, required even, given this serum unknown to them, and then put in a situation that only promotes contact they might not have wanted while not under the influence. Contact with others they may not have wanted at all. Where is the kindness in removing the choice from them? If this was such a way of life, if this was all safe and there was no harm in it; why aren't all the caretakers of dependents administering this serum to their charges? Why is it that a very good percentage of your own faction's adults would never stand for giving their children this serum, at least not on the levels that others are? By their very own words, they have said that they would never treat their children that way._

 _Our duty to our children is to guide, nurture and protect until the time of their choosing when they are old enough to make their own decisions and choose their path in life. The very act of having of children living a life largely under the influence of this serum strips all of that away. Make no mistake, this is abuse. You might not be raising a hand to the child but physical harm is being committed just as surely._

 _Abnegation leader Layla was brave enough to step forward and speak on her own experience as a former Amity that transferred to Abnegation. She spoke of the months of physical pain as her body fought against not receiving the drug she had been ingesting at every meal for her entire life in Amity. If that weren't enough, there were the emotional and mental torments as years of emotions she wasn't given the tools to deal with bombarded her. Where was the kindness for her when not one of her relatives even spoke to prepare her for what she would face? It was known that it would happen, they even said as much to her when they next encountered her on visiting day. They even tried to coax her back to the faction, telling her to defect, so that she might be welcome home in peace and love. Does that sound like the way to maintain this peace, love, and harmony to you?_

"What'cha reading?" Sadie asks me as she slides onto the bench opposite me at lunch.

I look up at her and smile in greeting. I put my tablet down on the table and tried to concentrate on my lunch. Swallowing down my first bite and the emotions from what I had been reading at the same time. "Just some of the information from the council meetings that started after the shit Erudite caused." I shrug after I answer trying to seem much more indifferent than I felt at all.

AJ frowns at me with a bite of food in her mouth. "Why would you want to read that crap? It's boring as hell."

Before I can answer, from beside me, Vera slaps her hand down on the table with a huge mischievous smile. "I got it! Coulter figured out our girl doesn't respond to the normal ways of torture so has found something new. S&M Candor style. Who needs chains, whips or handcuffs when you have all that sexy law stuff." She eyes me slyly. "Or maybe he just found a way to put her ass to sleep so she will stop trying to climb his shit every night."

I flush in embarrassment and snort out a laugh then toss some food at her as my friends laugh at the lame joke. It was embarrassing as hell but right now I was also thankful for it. I could use some humor even if it came at the expense of my friends messing with me.

They haven't let me live down the morning I stormed into the gym where they were waiting for us to do our normal workout. It was obvious I was trying to work something out and they had bugged me until I snapped out that Eric wouldn't fuck me so I had to get relief somewhere.

This had been the second morning I had woken up in his bed and we had only slept. Only this time I hadn't had a damn thing to drink. He was the one that had messaged me with the ' _instructions'_ to get the key he had left for me from Marlene so I could let myself in. I had done so thinking that would be the night. It turned out he got in so late that I was so dead asleep and I hadn't even woken up when he crawled into bed. To say I woke up mad as hell when I realized this was an understatement. Not even him taking me to get coffee had been able to sweeten my mood.

The laughter died out and we resumed eating.

"Seriously though, why are you reading that stuff?" Sadie asked with genuine curiosity. My friend was from Candor originally and worked in the legal side of administration.

She said she was nothing more than a glorified secretary but I had heard Tori praising her more than once for her helping to get something over on Candor, or having pulled through on getting things ready that is needed when processing someone into their system.

The meetings and minutes from them would be more up her alley. She actually enjoyed that kind of thing while I usually stuck to reading things, ironically enough, coming out of Erudite in regards to new advancements and medical techniques.

"Did you know that it wasn't just Erudite and Dauntless that had...sanctions...is the word they use...after everything happened?" I ask in between bites.

She nods in agreement but the others are looking just as confused as I was when I was told.

"Yes. I can understand why a big announcement wasn't made but from what I have read nothing in the sanctions were too bad."

"While I agree, I don't think my old faction is likely to," I mumble around a piece of chicken.

"Amity? What could they have possibly been punished for?" Vera asks with a snort. "They are the faction of kindness and peace."

Sadie and I exchange glances. While AJ and Vera are friends, the only one to know much about my past in Amity, besides Tori that is, would be my roommate. I was still suffering the effects of withdrawal and dealing with my new emotions well after initiation. We had been roommates from the start and she was in initiation with me.

She saves me from answering by shrugging. "I guess you would just have to read it. It might be my Candor prejudice but if you ask me, that kindness and peace seem pretty artificial."

"They put that serum in everything, right?" AJ asks, finally catching on.

I nod and eat quietly.

"Yeah, that would suck then. Never being able to just...be anything other than happy all the time." She replies with a scowl.

Once again my roommate saves the day and changes the line of conversation to plans for the weekend. Which they whine a little half-heartedly that I won't be there to party with them. I make the appropriate responses to their good-natured jokes and suggestions but my mind is back on what I discovered about the archived meeting transcript.

It had taken some digging. At first, I had been resolved to start from the beginning but the curiosity had just eaten away at me until I had to refine my search. It also didn't help that this particular sanction hadn't taken place until this last year. It is clear that the information had taken time to compile to be presented.

Elijah had been the one, per the information I was reading, to put forth the objection for Erudite. This came after one of the 'visits' the factions are making. Then it was backed by Abnegation and Dauntless. The objection from my faction didn't surprise me but the one from Abnegation did to an extent.

I was struggling with the emotions I felt just reading Tori's words. I can't imagine what hearing them in person would have done to me. I just couldn't understand why she wouldn't have told me about all of this.

I know she doesn't like to get emotional so maybe that was why. I am glad that she is absent from lunch along with Eric. I don't think I would be able to hold back in bringing it up and just how much it meant to me that she fought for me. There was nothing else it could have been with the examples she used. I also knew that Eric had a part in everything. Why else would his own brother be the one to present not only the argument but the research he had to undertake as well?

But had it been about me specifically at the time? He has said before that I wasn't invisible to him but what does that mean really? Could it mean that even then, maybe even as far back as our initiation, he felt something?

That whole time I had felt so alone. I felt hated even. Like I would never really belong. That I would always be an Amity playing at being Dauntless in their eyes. In a way, I have always thought even those close to me now still saw me that way.

Lunch was in full swing around me. Voices colliding together along with music that always seemed to be playing, though I had never bothered with trying to figure out where it was coming from. There was so much life and happiness in Dauntless. Not the kind I had been used to in Amity but knowing what I do now, I see that this isn't the manufactured happiness that had been there.

It struck me as I sat with my friends and having read proof of just how much I meant to at least one person, that I was home.

The upcoming trip to Amity had had me feeling doubtful and worried. Filled with fear and sick to my stomach. That somehow going there would confirm my worst fears.

That all started to fade for me as I began to understand what it is like, for the first time in my life, to be truly loved.

* * *

There is a steadily dwindling pile of paperwork on my desk that I am blowing through in my anxiousness to be done and to get out of the clinic. It is Friday and the end of my work week. It is also the night before I will be heading to Amity with Eric.

My body is buzzing with anticipation. Every night since the dinner at Erudite I have slept at Eric's. After the morning I had woken up in his bed completely frustrated that we still hadn't done anything, I promised myself I wouldn't do it again. It was too much torture. I didn't understand how Eric was keeping himself together like he was.

I have to admit that when Eric wanted to be, he was a smooth talker.

He started out with a message asking if I was going to be at his apartment. I had told him no and of course, that didn't sit well with him. I could just hear the command in the question he repeated even if it was just another message. That didn't get any response from me at all.

Next, he had called. His voice a seductive purr and hinting that I would be woken up in a pleasurable way. So I caved and was in his bed when I woke _once again_ in the morning to him just stepping out of his bathroom, already half dressed.

He had outright laughed at my venomous glare at him and then said he never specified anything into how or when I would be woken up. It turned out the being woken in a pleasurable way equated to him having already started the coffee and making me breakfast while I showered to get ready for my day.

That had been the routine when Eric didn't have to leave out too early and when he did, he always ended up taking me to my favorite place to get some kind of pastry and coffee. The first time we had gone in there together, the woman behind the counter looked like she might pass out at Eric being there. Then he had ordered something for himself, a full sneer on his lips, and she had actually let out a little whimper of fear. As she scurried off I laughed at the absurdity of it. Eric was too pleased with the entire thing. It had clearly made his day.

" _I love the smell of fear in the morning_." He had mumbled close to my ear. He explained to me this was a play on a quote from a favorite movie of his called _Apocalypse Now._

Eric had a playful side to him. One that he didn't let anyone but those closest to him see and I was now on that list of what I was sure consisted of maybe four people. As enjoyable and butterfly inducing as all that was, I was still left feeling frustrated. There was only so much I could take and I was on a mission.

The plan for today was to get out of here early, get home and pack, then put on something seductive to surprise Eric with.

The knock on my door brought me out of my scheming. I looked up to see Four in the doorway and frowned at him.

"I have a few initiates that need to be looked at. The other nurses are already with other people." He explained, his eyebrows all wrinkled up in worry.

I nodded and rose to go take a look. It was a bit strained between us. We hadn't really talked again since that lunch when he was obviously not happy I was with Eric. I have seen him in passing but he is busy with being the leader stuck in the compound while the others are off doing visits or other things. He is also still in charge of training, though he isn't there all the time like in the years past. For the activities that are most likely to get injuries though he is usually there.

I was trying to remember what the initiates were scheduled for. They have moved past the ranked and scored fights and I know they started their fear sims.

"Rappelling and wall climbing accidents." He told me while shaking his head after I had just asked.

"Ah, ok."

The boy who had fallen when doing the wall climbing wasn't bad off. Some deep bruising of the ribs and back area where he had fallen. The girl was a bit worse off, she would need a splint on a few fingers that she slammed into the wall when trying to catch herself after going down the rappel line wrong.

With that done I left them to rest a bit and went back to my office. There was just a bit more for me to take care of there and I could leave. If I got it done fast enough and filed away I would be out of here at least three hours early.

I had just gotten back to my desk when I heard someone following me in. I turned to see it was Four and plopped I in my seat with a frustrated sigh.

I knew the expression on his face. I was preparing for a lecture of some kind. I guess it makes sense he would choose now to do it. Tori and Tris are out of the compound but more importantly so is Eric. I wonder if he even really needed to bring the initiates considering Christina is one of the trainers and had been bringing them in so far.

He made his way over to the chairs on the opposite side of my desk and sat. "I wanted to talk to you, Devi."

"I thought you would be busy with all the other leaders gone or tied up this week."

He gives me a nod, his forehead still scrunched up. "I have been or I would have tried to do this sooner. I am honestly surprised that I even need to be having this conversation with you."

I tried to keep my temper under control and remember that Four's intentions are good here. "Then why are you?"

"Because I am worried, Devi! This is Eric we are talking about. You know how he was in training. If anything he has gotten worse than he was then and he was just starting out. I don't remember him once even looking at you until that night in the pit and I can bet the only reason he is now is that he knows you are my friend. He doesn't have a great reputation with girls and you deserve better."

"Ok," I say slowly and close my eyes.

"Ok? So you agree with me? Good, because I really don't want…"

"Stop. Just stop." I snap out. "I don't agree with a damn thing you just said Four and I am trying not to lose my shit here on you."

It is quiet as I talk calming breaths. "Mira, I know you think you are just being a good friend but you are not. You are trying to act like my father and tell me what I should or shouldn't do. Who I should or shouldn't see. It wouldn't matter if you were here talking to me about Eric or someone else my answer would be the same. It is my choice and mistake to make if it is one. Which it isn't by the way. The only mistaken thing here is your insinuations. Do you not even realize how what you said made me feel. That is impossible for Eric to have any interest in me for me? Don't even get me started on the fact that you just automatically assume he has nothing better to do with his time than to mess with you."

Four pales and shakes his head about to say something but I hold my hand up to continue. "I get that you two have issues. I get that you might not like the way he goes about things and I know he doesn't like the way you go about things either. Ask yourself this though, what do you know about Eric? Have you ever tried to find anything out other than he was working with Erudite and he can be an abrasive dick?"

"Do you know anything about him?" Four snaps out at me defensively.

"I know more than you most likely. Do I know everything about him, no, but what I do is what all that matters to me. Let me ask you, how many people here know anything about you before you came to Dauntless?"

I already know the answer, very few people really know anything. Even I only know vaguely it had something to do with his father but not the details. I also know that the only person to know everything is Tris. I know he sees where I am going with this and he sighs, looking away.

"That's different." He says without looking at me.

"Why because it's you? Other than the methods he uses for training and your rivalry in training, what else has he really done to you personally?"

Four runs a hand over his face and looks back to me. "I guess saying that he lives to make my life hell wouldn't matter to you?"

I laugh and shake my head. "That won't work with me Four. I know you find reasons to make his life hell just as much. You question every move he makes and you do it publicly. Does it not say something that he hasn't called you out publicly on it to this day when he could? You badmouth him constantly, telling anyone who will listen just how horrible he is. He has yet to pull rank and have you brought up on charges. He has yet to try and fight you again. Yeah, you guys exchange words and glares. I know that he can push your buttons just as bad but that is all it has been. I'm not saying you have to become best friends, but even you have to see it would be better for the faction if you worked together."

I am surprised at how calm I am about this but I also mean every word. I sigh and let him digest that then continue. "As far as whatever is between Eric and me. It really isn't anyone else's business. You can be worried as a friend, but a real friend would say...you know what..I don't necessarily like it, but I am here for you. Believe me, I have heard that enough from Lynn, Sadie, Vera, and AJ."

A throat clears from the doorway to the office and both our heads snap to look at it.

"Cógeme," I mutter when I see Eric leaning against the door jamb of the wide open door.

His arms are crossed over his chest, his one leg crossed over the other. He looks like he is relaxed but the tension in his arm where the vein is pulsing like mad lets me know he is anything but relaxed.

Four stands and looks at me seriously. "I don't like it, but I am here for you." He mutters out with a tense jaw as if the words are killing him to say.

Then he eases away from the desk and to the door. Eric still stays in the same position, the two eyeing each other as Four closes the distance then pauses in front of him. I stand slowly, just knowing I am going to have to put myself between them in a second.

I am surprised when Eric straightens then moves out of the door to let him pass. Four goes by him, still not taking his eyes off Eric, then gives this little head nod and turns to walk away completely.

Eric steps back into the doorway, through it, and then shuts the door firmly. I am at a loss for what to say honestly. He makes his way over quickly with two long strides of his legs.

"Did you mean all that?" He asks, in that hushed tone he can get.

I nod in response, swallowing to try and get my dry mouth to work properly and form words. "How long were you there?"

"I saw him go into your office behind you. You two didn't close the door and I got curious."

"So. Everything then." He crowded in close to me. The wild man was back but there was something else burning in his eyes as he cupped the sides of my face then pulling me into a kiss.

It is a hungry and impatient kiss, his tongue plunging into my mouth after I had barely opened it to receive him. He curls his tongue along mine while his fingertips apply the slightest of pressure against my scalp as he tries to get me even closer. Our height difference prevents it from happening, so with a growl, his hands shoot down until they are digging into the cheeks of my ass and he yanks me up. My legs wrap around his waist tightly as my hands go to his hair, tangling in it as much as they can when it is still styled with that gel he uses.

I move my hips against him but I am too high up and groan in frustration. We are still kissing when he goes to the seat I had just vacated and situates himself in it with me straddling him. We feverishly make out like a couple of teenagers, getting nowhere near the level of satisfaction we really want and just making ourselves even more frustrated.

He pulls back from a kiss we barely surfaced from other than long enough to get air and I find myself gasping.

"You didn't even hesitate to shut him down…." He mumbles against the skin of my neck. It is so garbled I at first don't understand him.

I pull back with a frown. "Why would I?

He doesn't answer, just scowls and gives a frustrated huff that my scrubs are in the way of him getting to my bare skin. He is avoiding answering or doesn't even realize that he said anything. I ask again, trying to make him look at me. "Why would I have hesitated, Eric?"

His hands still, he is still wearing that scowl, but he is looking right in my eyes.

"You're done for the day." He sighs and closes his eyes then opens them again after just a brief pause. " _Are_ you done for the day?"

My lips twitch in amusement at that. I nod in agreement. "Yes. I had a little bit of paperwork…"

That seemed to be good enough for him because he doesn't let me finish before he is standing while he grumbles out a 'thank fuck'. He barely remembers he is still holding me when he starts for the door until I shriek out that he needs to put me down. He looks at me with a glint in his eye then shakes his head and lets me down.

I have time to grab my bag before he grabs my hand and then leads me out of the door. There are a few nurses around that look at us and I hear Shauna laughing saying she would see me after the weekend. He doesn't let go of my hand at all as we walk through the compound.

"Are you taking me home with you?" I ask breathlessly and with a smile as I remember that I had asked this same question when he carried me from the pit. The night was still hazy but I had slowly started to remember things. That was one of them.

He looks down at me and smirks wickedly. "You bet your fucking ass I am, little one."

I shiver from the promise in his eyes and the wickedness of his smile.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Finally posting this next part. We are nearing the end of Devi and Eric's story. Sorry this took me a while. Between life and how much these kinds of chapters take out of me, it was a struggle! Hopefully it lives up to the wait and expectations! Enjoy loves!**

 **Disclaimer: Second verse same as the first...**

* * *

 **Part 9**

I shouldn't be nervous. It isn't like he hasn't seen me naked before. I practically threw myself at him while completely naked. It also isn't like we haven't done things together already. But, I still can't help to feel a bit of nerves as we finally make it to his apartment, kissing our way through the door.

Clothes start to be yanked on to get them off or just shoved at to try and get to parts of each other's bodies. We break the kiss long enough to get our tops off, but it's enough to let those nerves start to really register for me. I suddenly descend into nervous rambling.

In between my panted-out words, Eric still manages to get us both undressed while smirking a little and kissing me when the ramblings become mostly nonsensical.

He has also gotten us over to the couch and sinks down onto it, completely and gloriously naked. I stand there awkwardly and feeling more vulnerable than I have ever felt before. His expression is strained, a combination of that emotionless mask he carries around most of the time as well as what I have come to know is him holding back frustration. He exhales slowly while pulling me towards him, settling me so that I am straddling him while he holds himself like he is stone.

My skin is alive in a way it has never been before as the smallest of sensations seem to be registering for me and setting me to fire. Like the soft inner part of my thigh and how the wiry hair of his legs feels slightly scratchy as I move against him. The callouses on his fingertips as he trails them over my body that feel like tiny static electricity strikes. The heat of his breath and the sting of his teeth as he begins to work from my jaw downwards in slow torturous inches. Most of all is where my core is settled right against his thickness, how that heat combines. Such a strange combination of the silky flesh surrounding what feels like a steel rod sliding along my folds.

When I try to move to get more friction or what I really want, him inside me, his hands lock me in place and he smiles against my skin. He is teasing and torturing me on purpose. Like he is content to just touch and tease and be touched in return. But he seems to be really good at preventing me from touching him where I really want to.

I must admit that this by itself, the exploring each other with fingers and lips, is intoxicating and erotic. As my lips brush against his broad shoulder and the bulge of muscle that sits on top of them, I revel in the way it jumps and seems to pulse under my lips and tongue. I savor the taste of his skin which seems like it should be rough, given his nature and demeanor, and how can he seem to hard and unyielding. It isn't. It is smooth, warm and salty.

As pleasurable as this is, I want more. I rock my hips faster, sliding against him and moan at the feeling and frustration when he grabs my hips once again to stop me just as I was getting to the tip of his cock. It was so damn close, that just a few more centimeters would have seen him pushing into my waiting entrance.

"Eres un maldito tomadura de pelo," I hiss angrily

He chuckles again against my skin and claims my mouth, sealing his over mine. Probing deeply and hungrily. It builds the fire in me even more and makes me feel like I am going to burn up or burst if I don't get relief soon.

He breaks away and fists his hand in my hair. "What do you want, Devi? Tell me."

"I've been trying to." I pant my reply out as I move my body again to do just what he is asking for.

He shakes his head and stops me from moving again. "Say it. I want to hear you say it." He demands in a voice that seems like it is pure gravel then he leans forward and bends me back a little until he can easily reach my hardened nipple. His tongue flicks out and has my back arching forward for more, to give him more. "I want to know you want me. That you want us."

The words are husked out, a sign of his own need. The heat of his breath only teasing me more. I grip his hair and I tug him closer. He gives in just a little as he swirls his tongue around my nipple.

I groan when he tries to pull away again.

"I want this, Eric. So bad, please." I don't even try to fight him or give in to the normal instinct to resist any of his demands. There is something in the way his eyes are burning into mine as he asked that of me that is taking away all that resistance I would normally have.

Walls are being stripped away from me and I wonder if that is what he is seeing as he bites his lower lip then nods. His breathing picks up even more as I feel his heart pick up under where I have my hand against his chest.

"You're ready." He says on a panted husk then groans when I roll my hips against him. As soon as he nodded I wasn't going to give him a chance to take it back and moved to finally have him where I have ached for him.

I reach between us as I raise up slightly and wrap my hand around him, moaning at the way he pulses in my hand. He really does feel like silk, but it is slick from how wet I have been as he was sliding along me.

He curses and buries his head in my neck but doesn't stop me like I momentarily think he's going to. Instead of keeping his hands on my hips, he brings them to my head and neck. Firmly taking a handful of my hair while also it cups and cradles the back of my head. He other hand holds me close to his chest by the back of my neck. His grip on me isn't hard but it is firm and a clear show of his dominance. Other than that, he doesn't move but I can feel every muscle my body is contact with twitching as he holds himself absolutely still.

He hisses softly as I start to lower myself down him, slowly and with a long drawn out moan of my own. My eyes close as my head lolls back. Despite how wet I was and still am, it takes some working for him to enter me. It is all almost too much to the point of pain. Not just the way he is stretching me but the feeling of him filling something in me that I have never had before.

When I finally feel the top of his thighs snugly molding to my ass and there is no more of his length to take into me, I pause but he also holds me there. His breathing is labored, and he had been leaving feverish kisses along my skin where he still has his face buried in the crook of my neck.

When he bottomed out deep inside of me, he groaned and dug his fingers into me slightly.

"There's my girl."

That comment sent shivers of pleasure racing along my skin, tightening my nipples and making me even wetter. It was said in a guttural husk and that alone was enough to cause me to whimper slightly. There was something about the words and how they were possessive but with a hint of reverence in them.

There was nothing I could think of to say to that, but there was plenty I wanted to do.

So, I did.

I started to move my hips, rolling them first back and then forward slowly. Eric's head popped up, his nostrils flared and breathing hard. Maybe he was about to say something else, but I didn't give him a chance. My hand gripped his hair and the back of his head, then pulled him forward until my lips could have some form to communicate what I was feeling.

I kept that contact with our lips as I slide up and down on him, slowly and savoring every moment but also waiting. In the back of my mind I had the thought that this feeling couldn't last. It was a wonder I was feeling it to begin with.

The feeling of being connected to something so deeply. I have never had it before with another person. The only person I thought I had it with had been all during a drugged-up haze. Since then I haven't been capable of even trying for that again if I didn't have a little liquid courage to do it. Every encounter with Eric, little bits of myself I have kept locked up tight, have started to open.

I am feeling fully free for the first time.

I feel like his hands and lips are everywhere while I move in a frantic pace. At some point during my need for more, I moved so that I am still straddling him, but I have lifted my legs to be bent behind me and laying against his thighs. This allows me to lift and lower myself has hard as I like, truly riding him with abandon.

Rational thought isn't on my menu as I chase the climax that is building in me. I realize he is speaking, asking, or begging for something, about the time I feel his arms wrap around my waist and the world tilts on its axis. Then I am on my back with him hovering over me and his face buried between my breasts as he thrusts into me. It sends shockwaves through my entire body and has me screaming out in pleasure while my nails dig into him begging for even more.

The stubble from a day's growth on his face scores my skin as he rubs all over my body, grunting his own pleasure out in hot breaths. The calloused tips of his fingers brush and rub my clit, so swollen with the need for release, was the catalyst for it. My body tightened and shook as I cried out, arching up wildly only to be held down from the weight of his body on top of mine.

I look up into his blue eyes. They are clearly burning with his own need, but it is like he is ignoring it. Looking at me intensely while I keep shuddering and closing around him. His mouth is slightly open with his teeth bared in a grit. His cheekbones tight and his eyes crinkled at the sides. I can feel every corded muscle in his thighs as he slaps against me. It isn't just his thighs that are coiled and reigned in. It is every part of his body visible or not. I wonder if it hurts to hold himself so tightly like that.

I need him to let go for me, like he had been begging me to do for him. I reach up and lay my hand on the side of his face then asked him with my eyes.

"Eric." I seemed incapable of really speaking or forming words and I hope he got what I needed from him with his name said in a plea.

"Fuck." He growled before his lips came crashing down on mine.

Once again there is a dizzying moment when I became airborne and our positions changed. He lifted me in his arms, raising up to his knees with my legs wrapped around his waist. This was nothing like when I straddled him on the couch. I was being held in place by his arms wrapped around me. Our bodies pressed close together and the sweat from our slickened skin allowing them to slide against each other. He thrust up hard into me, but gravity also brought me down on him.

Our mouths were still locked together, our tongues mimicking the moment of our joined centers. Neither of us broke that even when I crashed over an edge I don't think I ever really left. Eric followed me, and I felt his chest rumble against mine, him pulling me tighter against him as he shouted into the kiss.

Bliss.

I had never really understood what that feeling was before. I honestly wondered if it was an exaggeration or someone's imagination when they described a state of bliss they had been in. But in this moment, in the safety and shelter of Eric's arms locked around my body and pressing me closer to his body, I understood and felt it for the first time.

Our bodies are still shaking slightly but we have been locked together for a few minutes. He's gone soft inside of me, but he doesn't make a move to pull away. In fact, one hand is buried in my hair and the back of my head. Pressing it to his chest. I can feel the gusts of his labored breathing against my head. He pulls back but keeps mine cupped and moves his face until his nose and lips are brushing against me. He moves them over my ear, jaw, temple, and finally his lips stop when they are fully pressed against my forehead.

The gesture is tender. The entire thing is, and it makes me feel something that has me giving a small quiet gasp of pleasure. That simple kiss to my forehead and his arms wrapped around me so protectively is making me feel cherished. I realize I crave that almost as much, if not more, than I do the bliss and pleasure Eric has shown me we can achieve together.

I want more. So much more.

I feel Eric smiling against the skin of my neck and he chuckles. "You want more, huh? You're going to have to give me a minute or two, little one. Even I can't recover that fast."

My skin flushes at the realization I had spoken aloud. That seems to be something I do a lot with him. The man rattles all sanity and rational thinking in me. Even now his fingers start to trail down my spine lazily and has my back arching with a moan.

"That's not what I…." I stop and shiver as he nips my collarbone then licks it. "I mean, I want more of that too, but that wasn't what I wanted to do again."

He pulls back and looks at me. One hand going to the side of my face and stroking it. His brow is furrowed and the look I have come to know as him deep in thought is glinting in his blue eyes. Then his brow smooths out a little and his eyes soften before he leans back towards me. His lips curled into a smile in just the slightest tilt of his lips.

"Was this what you wanted more of?" He asks as he brushes his lips against the hollow of my throat. I moan softly but shake my head. He moves to another spot and repeats the same gesture and question. Each time is a different place as he makes his way up. He pulls back and locks eyes with me before he leans in again, his breath soft against my forehead. "Is this where you needed me, Devi?"

The press of his full, warm lips against the skin of my forehead has my eyes fluttering closed and a sigh leaving my mouth. My fingernails dig into the skin of his shoulders where I had them wrapped around from the back. My heart thuds hard in my chest and I press my breasts against his chest even harder.

I nod against him in answer and am thankful when he doesn't demand for me to speak like I think he is going to. I feel him start to grow hard where we are still joined together.

Just like that I go from feeling cherished to feeling desired. It ignites my own passion again and has me growing wet.

I lean back and look at Eric with a smirk on my lips. "How about that round two?"

* * *

Waking up in Eric's bed isn't a new feeling but being wrapped up in his entire body is a very new feeling. It isn't really morning but sometime in between. We have been in bed since he carried me there after our first time in the living room. Once there, we went another round that was drawn out with the foreplay we seemed to bypass completely before.

I shift slightly when the memory of it makes me grow wet and my body start to warm. He grunts in his sleep and his arm tightens around my waist making me smile.

I wouldn't have imagined Eric as being someone that would want to snuggle in bed, but he does. In all the time I have slept with him, I had vague memories of being pulled into his arms and him nuzzling me before he would join me in sleep. It always seemed to be more like something from a dream that I hadn't been able to confirm or deny because he was always up and out of bed before I even started to try and wake up.

He swings a leg over one of mine, locking me into place. I smile and bury my face in the pillow trying to muffle the laugh that shakes me. Through the laughter the warmth spreads throughout me.

I never expected to feel this way with Eric. I knew I desired him badly and he made me feel crazy with need. I just never expected it to feel so right. Even the way he is holding me. It feels like we fit perfectly. Which seems absurd given how small I am compared to him, but it seems to be perfect. He curls around me so that I mold to him in all the right spots and while I am still small in his arms he doesn't make me _feel_ small.

The way he allowed me free reign of our first time or the way he encouraged me to do certain things that he could tell I wanted but was hesitating on; he made me feel powerful and in control while at the same time safe enough _with_ him to lose that control when needed.

He is generous and giving, selfless even. But I know without a doubt if I were to utter those words to him he would list a thousand examples of why that isn't true and all of them would be just as true. So what does that mean that I see it, that he shows this side of himself to me? Does it mean anything? Do I want it to mean anything?

I groan and slap a hand over my ear to try and knock away all these deep and daunting thoughts after the amazing night I have had. That groan turns into a gasp when Eric's hand slips between my parted legs and thighs until he finds my center, stroking me from behind.

"Eric," I moan as one finger slides between my cleft lazily. "What are you doing?"

He somehow maneuvered his other hand to my breast and began rolling the nipple on the flat of his palm. "We still have a few hours before we even need to be up. Apparently, I didn't do a good enough job of tucking you in the first time, little one." His deep sleepy voice rumbles through me and makes the wetness at my core seep out even more, allowing his finger that has begun to probe me slide in easily.

I moan and push my ass back against him while pussy clinches his finger hungrily, begging for more. Begging for the hard rod that is pressing against my back. His words and my need make me feel daring, mischievous even. That is a dangerous combination because it makes me want to push him and see if I can get him to break.

I reach a hand back, brushing it against his cock until I can wrap my hand around it. I look back at him over my shoulder and see his half-lidded eyes darken as his nostrils flair. He pushed his hips forward on reaction and gritted his teeth in a hiss before he plunged another finger inside of me.

It makes me cry out in pleasure and gives me the courage to get my breathless taunt out. "Entonces supongo que debes volver a poner a tu chica en la cama papi."

"Fuck!" He growls out in a shout before he withdraws his fingers abruptly then flips me over on my back. His eyes are wide open now as they lock on me.

All those times I saw him with this same wild look in his eyes he pulled back and locked it down under the iron control he keeps himself under. I have the powerful and violent urge to make sure he doesn't reign his beast back in.

"Dammit, Devi. You don't know what you're asking for. You wouldn't be able to handle it." He forces the words out on a hiss while his body moves against mine, telling me he wants what I want just as much.

I smirk up at him. "I have broken bigger than you."

He smiles wickedly at me. "Don't say I didn't warn you, little one." He pins my arms above my head while he ravages my mouth.

Just as he bites and sucks on my lower lip after a battle of our tongues, I feel cold circling my wrists. I don't even have time to wonder about what that could be before I hear the audible sound of cuffs being snapped in place. The heavy and constricted weight of them around my wrist a clear indicator of what just happened.

My first thought. "Where the fuck did those come from?"

He chuckles against my neck and sucks the skin between his lips and teeth, nipping at it and marking me. "Oh, I have had them ready for a while, Devi. That first night you slept here drunk off your ass, leaving me hard as hell and barely able to control myself, in fact."

He pulls back as he moves down my body towards my chest. He gives a side smile. "Of course, I put them there in case I needed them for me. But I think this has worked out rather nicely."

"Oh Dios," I moan at the thought of Eric wanting me so badly he almost had to chain himself to a bed like the beast I have called him before.

"You like that, don't you?" He growled then locked his mouth around one of my nipples while tugging and tweaking the other between one of his hands. He sucked deeply, and my hips shot up as I arched my back with a cry. He grabbed my hips and forced them back down on the bed, pinning them in place and letting me know he was in control this time. "You like knowing what you do to me, don't you?"

I don't think he really wants me to answer. He can't really want me to answer if every time he asks he does something else he completely drives the ability to speak from me. He lavishes attention to my taut nipples and aching breasts. Alternating between rough and soft, never letting me know which one I will be getting more of.

My insides churn as I, unbelievably, feel an orgasm building just from him fondling and sucking my tits.

Suddenly I feel a sting against my core and the sound of a slap reverberates around the room. The actual sensation on a delay of some kind causing me to jerk and yell out in surprise, my eyes flying open and to Eric's face. He is hovering over me, having stopped everything and I realize he just smacked my pussy. He leers down at me.

"I asked you a question, Devi. I expect an answer." There is no yield or give in his tone but there isn't the cruelty in it that seems to be etched onto his face. His eyes are watching me carefully, appraisingly.

This is a test, him seeing if I really could handle him unleashed.

I swallow and nod. "Yes...I…. I…." I stop, lost for words. I want to say something flippant and flirty. To meet his challenge with some kind of sexual comeback. I don't understand why I can't. Why those words are lost to me and the ones I want to say aren't something I know if I am ready to admit.

He leans forward more so that my skin comes into contact with his and it sends warmth, comfort and relief through me. It both calms and excites me, just the feel of him being near. One hand lifts to stroke the side of my face in a loving and coaxing manner with the back of his hand.

"You will answer me honestly, Devi. There is no need to hide from me or this. Not anymore, little one. You are better than that, braver and stronger than what they did to you." One of his hands moved so that his fingers brushed against the skin of my side. He leaned until his breath teased my lips. "Even before you left they couldn't tame you no matter how hard they tried." That hand stroked a pattern over the raised skin at my rib cage. "They could never contain your wild heart and that scared them, Devi."

His fingertips finished tracing the word part of the tattoo just as he spoke out loud what those words meant. My watercolor wild horse with flowers worked into the mane and the words ' _wild hearts can't be broken_ ', is the only tattoo I have. It wasn't something I felt I needed to display and I wanted it close to my heart anyways. So, it has a place of pride on my body on my left side and over my rib cage.

I pushed my head forward that little bit of distance, needing to complete the contact. My eyes were burning from threatening tears at his words and I didn't want that. What I wanted was him, I needed him. He gave me the contact I craved. A kiss that was a confirmation of his words, soulful and deep.

But he hadn't forgotten what I started. He leaned back until he was kneeled in between my legs that are spread obscenely wide and bent at the knees slightly. His cock is still just as hard, pulsing against me where I am just as wet. It lays heavy against me, but he doesn't move a bit more than making sure that it is nestled between the bare lips of my pussy.

He smiles at me, a pleased smile when his eyes move over me laying on his bed and completely at his mercy. Those blue eyes aren't as wild, but the beast is still very present. He licks his lips, balls his hands into fists and puts one on each side of my body while he leans closer. I whimpered a little before I could stop the sound at how he was closer but nowhere near as close as I wanted and needed him.

That pleased smile just grows wider, flashing the white of his teeth. "Shall we try this again, little one? I asked a question and expect an answer. Do you have one for me now, or would you like to admit that you can't handle my," he paused and smirked at me, "beast?"

"Yes, I like knowing what I do to you. I need to know I can do that to you." I huff out quickly, spurred on by his taunting challenge of me and the threat of caging everything away again.

"Mm mm." Is what comes from his chest and he grips my chin, turning my face back to look at him, since I turned away during my raw admission. I don't know what I expect to see there but I exhale in relief when I see burning desire. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

He doesn't wait for an answer before he leans forward and takes my bottom lip between his teeth and tugs on it while his hips slide back slowly. I moan as the ridges and veins on his cock seem to be even more prominent where they come into contact with me, hitting exactly where I am extremely sensitive and needy. I have a moment to realize what he is doing before he surges forward, slamming into me.

"Now, you get your reward." He whispers pulling back to look at me, the wild and wide eyes letting me know I am going to get exactly what I wanted.

He holds my head by my hair so that we remain looking into each other's eyes. Then he slowly pulls out before he slams back in.

"I'm going to fuck you until the alarm goes off." Eric rasps out while still holding my eyes. "I'm going to fuck you until you want to beg me to stop but you won't be able to."

Once again, he pulls out until just the head of his cock is right at my entrance and I panic he is going to pull out all the way. I lock my muscles down trying to bring him back in as I buck my hips. He lets go of my hair with a hiss and tears back until he is up on his knees again. Then he jerks my legs so that they are bent towards my chest and resting on his shoulders.

I don't know how he managed to stay inside of me during that, but he did.

"I should punish you for that, but I won't this time." He growls at me then slams back in.

I scream out in pleasure as my insides tremble from the sensation of the angle he is entering me at. My fingers curl around the chains of the cuffs and I tug while I shout his name.

"Eric!"

He smiles down at me wickedly, his muscles contracting against the back of my thighs as he thrusts into me.

"Fuck yes!" He grunts as he thrust into me again. Picking up the pace of his movements. "One word, Devi. My name. That's all you're going to be able to say. I'm all you're going to be able to think about. Only me."

With me still bent to give him the angle to plunge deep into me, he also pulls my head forward and claims my mouth. As if sealing his promise with that kiss.

When he pulls back he goes right into setting about keeping that promise.

It doesn't take long for me to be right at the edge of a climax. He is hitting deep and all the right spots. Even if I wanted to I have no chance to fight it.

It breaks from me like a wave against a cliff. My body is held firmly in place by Eric so there is no give when my back tries to arch but it can tremble and shake.

I gasp out and clench my eyes tight by they pop open when he suddenly withdraws completely from me. I don't have time to protest or demand what he is doing before he is repositioning me. My hands are still in the cuffs and the length of chain allows him to move me without having to remove them and put them back on.

He has me on my stomach but with pillows shoved under me so that I have my ass up in the air and still spread wide for him. When he gets me settled he begins to kiss and stroke down my spine while one of his hands slips starts to stroke and tease me. All while moving his lips down slowly. His hot breath gusts over my ass and I jerk in surprise, wondering where exactly he might be headed to.

One hand locks me into place. "Trust me, Devi." He murmurs against my skin as he picks up moving his fingers inside me.

I relax again with a moan and move against his hand. His mouth quickly makes its way to my extremely wet center and soon as his tongue replaces his fingers, I explode. Then he is inside of me again. Holding my hips and thrusting into me.

I go beyond bliss into a state of delirium. He was right about one thing, all I can seem to manage as far as being able to form words, is his name. It is said in various ways all meaning to hopefully communicate the various feelings and needs I experience. Each time he responds perfectly, playing my body like a master.

When I cry out every time he withdraws and denies me his own release, he doubles his efforts to bring me off again. The alarm blares loudly in the room, penetrating the fog of hedonism that is over us.

Eric groans in relief from behind me where we are laying on our sides. One of my legs is contorted again so that I am spread open and he is pumping his hips into me. His fingers dig into the flesh of my thigh and he growls. I feel his thighs tighten as I whimper out another release.

"Eric…" I pant, out of breath and feeling as if I no longer have a bone in my body.

His response is another deep rumble of his chest before he has a few more frantic thrusts and then he buries himself inside of me, crying out my name.

I have never been so happy for a guy to fucking cum in my life. He releases me from my position and flops onto his back. We are both breathing hard and I know I am a mess.

The alarm is still going but I am in no position to shut it up. My hands are still in the chain cuffs. Eric stirs beside me and I let my head loll to the side, so I can see what he is doing. He reaches over to shut the alarm off and moves back towards me. His reaches for me and I whimper when he finally releases me. He frowns and gathers me in his arms, carrying me into his bathroom.

"Are you hurting?" He asks, his breathing still a bit labored. He lowers me to the bathroom counter as I am shaking my head in answer to his question.

I remember his counter is made of smooth black steel just about the time the cold metal hits my bare ass and I shriek out, almost jumping completely off it like a cat. Eric catches me with wide eyes looking at me like I am crazy until he looks at the counter and it registers for him what happened.

"Oops." He says, choking on laughter.

"No es gracioso, idiota," I whine and try to slap his arm but have all the strength of a wet noodle behind it.

He drops his head to my shoulder, laughing his ass off. I try to scowl but don't make it before he lifts his head and cradles mine in his hands. Looking at me searchingly but a smile still twitching at the sides of his lips.

"Pobre bebé, do I need to kiss it and make it better?" He purrs out the question.

"No thank you," I squeak out my answer.

He smiles knowingly and kisses me.

"We need to get ready to leave anyways. You still have to go pack since that didn't happen last night."

He says all this after stepping away from me and starting the water. I watch him moving around inside of the big glass shower that I have come to absolutely fall in love with.

I bite my lip and frown a little as his words penetrate my muddled mind. "Right. Pack." I blow out a breath. "Amity." I stare at the floor as apprehension hits me hard.

"Nope, not going to happen." Eric grumbles then grabs my hand pulling me into the shower and under the water with him. "You are not going to ruin what has been the best night you have ever had by brooding."

It takes a second for his words to register for me and my head snaps up to see he has a cocky smile.

"I'm not brooding." I snap at him then turn away to the shower head on the other wall.

The water soothing and drowns out his chuckle and the words I knew were coming. "But I'm right about it being the best night of your life."

I don't answer or turn around, I just smile as I turn my face up into the water.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Long wait for this update but life intrudes and must be attended to. This is short but hopefully, the next part will come soon, it is a bit longer and I wanted to break it up. Hope you enjoy though!**

* * *

 **Part 10**

I hate being rushed or running late. It always leaves me out of sorts for the rest of the day and that was exactly how the morning started. Not a great start when I was already feeling anxious about going back to the place I had once called home.

Eric and I set off from his apartment and split up temporarily. He went to get us some coffee and food from our normal place while I raced to my apartment to get my things. I was thankful that I had least gathered most everything and left it on my bed the morning before.

When I got to the apartment it was to find a zombie-like Sadie shuffling around and my bag almost fully packed. When I hadn't come home to pack, she figured I would be in the predicament I was in right now and decided to help. She shooed me away groggily then went back to her room to sleep after I put the last few things in the bag and was in the process of thanking her profusely. I darted out of the door then headed towards the garage area where all the transports are kept.

Eric was just getting there himself and smirked at my flustered state before he grabbed my bag then waved me over to the side where there was a bench and a stool set up, the food waiting in a bag and my coffee sitting beside it. I didn't even feel bad about plopping down onto the stool and digging in while he and a few others loaded up the transports and began discussing what was going to happen.

Dauntless would be responsible for hauling all the people that would be in Amity this weekend for meetings and tours. It wouldn't be just us like it had been in Erudite.

Trucks were loaded, inventory checked off, and Eric barked orders while I sat off to the side waiting. Soon others joined us. Four went to assist Eric while Tris and Tori joined me with their own hastily grabbed breakfasts.

"Hey Devi, did Eric tell you that we want you to attend a few things with us?" Tris asked as she pulled a sticky bun from the bag she carried in with her.

I frowned and shook my head then swallowed the big bite of my second bear claw I had just taken. "Not a word."

Tris and Tori share a look but also roll their eyes before Tori takes over. "Remember when we were all talking about the policy of people over a certain age or when they are infirm having the choice of going factionless or jumping into the chasm?"

I let out a little growl as I scowl into my cup of coffee. "How could I forget!"

"You mentioned a set up that Amity had, and that piqued our interest. We would like it if you would check that out and possibly help with developing something similar for our own faction." Tris tells me with a smile, shocking me for a second and leaving me unable to respond.

"I would love to, of course." I agree with a wide smile to both of them.

"Let's load up and roll out." Eric's voice booms out from beside the transport he is standing near. His barked order is for everyone else, but his head motion is for me.

"I'm being summoned," I grumble out amid the chuckles of Tris and Tori, but I toss Tris a sarcastic grin that she pretends not to notice when I see Four doing the same thing to her from beside another transport.

I slide into the back seat where Eric joins me directly after. The driver and front passenger seats are already filled by two of Eric's security detail. I guess a perk of being the senior leader is we aren't forced to squeeze more people into the truck with us or ride in one of the transports meant for the patrols. That doesn't mean it might not change once we get to the hub but I don't get a chance to ask. Eric is already on the phone, issuing various order or getting updates about the other's joining us.

I tune out and try not to think where we are headed to, managing to doze off.

* * *

A door slams and the truck rocks, startling me awake and causing me to jerk up and look around. I was laid out along the back seat of the truck, with a jacket draped over me like a blanket.

The door slamming was from the guy driving just getting back in the truck, who was now looking at me with wide eyes then around him and out of the window. We both focused on the form of Eric standing outside of the truck.

I couldn't see Eric's expression but I take the guys hurried reaction and apology to me that it hadn't been a good one.

"Don't worry about it," I tell him in a mumble as I sit up and try to put myself to rights.

The door opens and Eric climbs in, eyeing me while I avoid looking at him. I'm embarrassed that I was asleep so hard that I never noticed we had stopped or that I was being moved to lay fully down by him.

When I do finally look at him, the side of his mouth is tilted in a smirk while he eyes his tablet. The truck roars to life and takes off after a few others pass us by. I look around to see we are leaving the Hub.

I slept through the ride and picking everyone else up.

"You should have woken me up," I grumble to him as I primly adjust my clothes and try after trying to subtly check to make sure I hadn't been drooling in my sleep.

"Relax." Eric drawls out from beside me while flicking the screen of the tablet a few times, then looks over to me. "It wasn't like you missed much besides a bunch of whining and annoying questions from the pains in the ass from Erudite and Candor."

"That's not the point," I huff and glare at him. "I had wanted to talk to Tori and Tris more before we get to Amity. It seems someone," I narrow my eyes at him as I draw out the last word meaningfully. "Forgot to inform me that I was being asked to attend certain meetings at their request."

Eric had a second where he looked like he was torn between a grimace and a blush before he shrugged and leaned closer to me. Not that there was that much room for him to go because he had crowded into my space as soon as he climbed back into the truck.

"In my defense, that was the reason for me being at the clinic when I was. I had gone there with the intent to tell you what Tris and Tori had asked during the briefing for the Amity visit that morning. I went there with every intention to see if that would be something you were okay with, Devi."

He was speaking lowly to me, something that could sound menacing and probably was meant to seem that way to the guys up front. But the warmth of his tone and the fact that he had one lock of my hair that had come loose from my ponytail wrapped around his finger and was using his thumb to stroke it, let me know he wasn't his intent.

"You aren't the only one worried about how this is going to go." Those words were even softer and cause me to turn my head so that our noses brush against each other and our breath mingles.

"Why are you worried?"

A part of me already knows the answer. The signs have been there for me to see from the first time Eric denied me, using the reason of me drinking. I had the horrible habit of speaking my thoughts out loud but Eric had his own slip-ups. It wasn't an aimless ramble but his strong convictions of that he would or would not allow between us when he would allow it. I ask but I am not sure I really want to know, or how I am going to react once I do.

Eric pulls back ever so slightly and studies me for a second before answering. His lips thinned.

"I know what you are afraid of, Devi. What you fear most. Maybe I worry because I have the same fear." His words are clipped as he lets my hair drop and pulls away completely.

* * *

The rest of the ride to Amity was awful and most of that was because of my handling of the Eric's confession.

" _I know what you are afraid of, Devi. What you fear most. Maybe I worry because I have the same fear." His word are clipped as he lets my hair drop and pulls way completely._

The words had seemed to bounce around in my mind. Hitting on different emotional centers in me but the one that I seemed to focus on was the anger.

Anger at what his words implied to me. He certainty that he knew my _worst fears_. Those words spoken in any other faction would never have the meaning they do for Dauntless. They could be taken very literally here.

Eric saying he knows my fears means he knows them because he has seen them and that has left me livid. I has left me stripped bare and vulnerable in a way that blows what I felt when I standing naked in front of him completely out of the water.

There was more to his words, more words that he shared but I can't….won't….focus on them. I stay silent and try to avoid any contact with Eric as we share that same seat but that is easier said than done.

The roads to my former faction would never be described as paved in gold. Hell, they can't even be described as paved at all. They are so bad that our trucks used to haul the goods from our farms and communities broke down at alarming rates. Axels snapping in half. There is a reason Amity is seen as living in the stone age because of the use of horse drawn carriages but most of that is because it is much easier for a cart to be repaired and replaced than a truck.

Dauntless trucks are better built for this road conditions but even in one of them, I am almost being tossed around with the violence of the rough conditions. I tried to jerk out of his arms, when he wrapped me up and pulled me to his side and tried to secure me as much as possible. Even turning so that he took the worst of the jolts and jarring.

"Just stop, Devi." Eric hissed at me when I once again tried to jerk away and almost flew up to hit my head on the roof of the truck at the same time when it came in the middle of a large and unexpected drop. "You can be pissed when we get out of this shit later."

"Don't think I won't." I snap at him but stop trying to break free.

"I know." Eric replies and there is a sigh at the end of it.

I don't reply. Talk isn't feasible and I don't want to shout out my business in front of the two driving. It might distract them and I am already worried about their ability to navigate with how they seem to be hitting every single bad part of the road they can.

All in all, this is not a great start to my return home.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Once again, thank you all for the love for this story and the patience as I try to get out updates. Thank you for all the views,** reviews, **follows and faves!**

* * *

 **Part 11**

When we got to Amity I didn't have time to let my anger out on Eric.

As soon as we rolled into the compound, he released me and we jerked to stop. If I didn't know Eric better I would say that he was a little too eager to get out of the truck. The way he seemed to exit it before the tires had even fully ceased their forward motion, hinted at him running from me and the situation.

I scrambled out after him and could only huff in frustration when I saw he was immediately approached and surrounded by a few Candor and Erudite's that were less than pleased about the ride they just endured.

I felt a good deal of perverse pleasure that he was going to have to deal with them while Tori approached me. I missed the look on her face at first because I was so caught up in my own feelings. I caught on to the look and what was causing it as I turned at someone calling my name, my old one, in greeting.

"Devana blessed returns."

I turn to see the warm smile of Johanna Reyes. Her eyes hold the warmth of a mother welcoming home a long lost child and her arms are held out and slightly open to further that expression.

Years of conditioning and familiarity kick in despite the part of me that resents my old faction, including the woman that had become family to me after the death of my mom. I feel torn even as I step forward into the embrace and it results in an awkward hug where my upper body is leaned in but my lower half refused to move forward.

I pull back, rather I jerk back abruptly, and flush in shame for treating Johanna with disrespect, an apology on my lips but it is cut off by her shifting her focus to the others that are around us.

She gives nods and greetings with smiles, some of them genuine and others forced. Until she greets the last person.

"Eric," She doesn't even attempt to smile as she dips her head in a nod. But I can see her eyes widen in slight surprise when he gets incredibly close to me, with his hand going to the small of my back. She recovers quickly and addresses the group gathered around.

"Welcome to Amity, all. I have arranged for a late breakfast in the dome. All are welcome once you have been shown to your quarters for your stay. Your groups will be assigned a guide and assistant as well." Here she turns to a group of young men and women that most likely are fresh from their training as new members, then motions them forward.

The groups start to break apart as she turns back to me and Eric. A guide, a young man I do not know, approaches us and stands patiently to Johanna's side.

"Thank you, Aidan. Now if you would please show the Dauntless leaders to the quarters we arranged for them." She returns his nod of acceptance while he starts forward but she turns to me. "Devana, I know it has been a while since you have seen them, but your family has agreed to..."

"She's staying with me." Eric snaps out coldly, eyes narrowed and voice soft while I flinch at both his tone and the thought of having to go back to that house for even a minute.

"I apologize, I just assumed…"

Again Eric cuts her off. "Well, you assumed wrong. They have a saying about that you know."

"Eric," I mutter warningly with a bit of anger at him speaking up for me. I also feel relief for him having done so as well.

His response is to slide his hand to my waist and dig his fingers in slightly while pulling me closer.

"And her name is Devi." He supplies calmly before he pulls me with him to step back and away from Johanna and to follow after the guide and the others.

I look over my shoulder to see my old friend and mentor looking in our direction with an expression of remorse and sadness before she catches my eye and smiles softly then turning away.

I turn back around, look up at Eric who is stoically and stubbornly not looking at me, and jerk from his grasp. I stomp ahead of him and catch up to where Tori and Tris are walking. They only look at me briefly, I guess seeing how I am doing so far. I shrug in response but I can tell Tori will corner me for a talk sooner or later.

* * *

"Are you going to tell me what happened with between you and Eric? This morning you were all glowing and smug to looking like you were going to scratch his eyes out?"

Tori had finally cornered me.

Well, cornered isn't exactly the right word.

We sitting together, after all, and she had waited at least a few hours to start the interrogation. Enough time to leave me and Eric to avoid talking while getting settled into our room. I had taken my time unpacking, still debating if I was actually going to sleep in the same room or not. The place they had all of us set up was one of the separate lodgings, meaning it was its own house and that meant there was a living room with a couple of couches that looked pretty comfortable.

Eric had muttered and grumbled something to me about him having to go meet up with a group to have a meeting with Johanna and the other elders and that he would see me at dinner.

Leaving me to stew in all my mixed. I am still brooding and fuming while me, Tris, Tori and a few others from Erudite and Abnegation are heading to what Amity has set up for the old and infirm of the faction.

Amity is a big sector, encompassing miles and miles of land that is set up in different zones for the type of farming or function that it is in charge of. Communities of people live and work in those zones, hardly traveling outside of the area unless it is part of the job or special occasions.

The compound and market area of Amity is closest to the where the train ends. There are individual houses in this sector but it is mainly set up into communal housing. These are usually inhabited by those who have just come of age and gone through initiation, men and women who are single, and children who have lost a parent or guardian. In that housing, it isn't common to have a room with one person in it. Generally, there are at least two or more that share the space. Especially the dependents.

Before my aptitude test and leaving for Dauntless, I had looked forward to living in one of those rooms. I wouldn't have had it to myself but I had been looking forward to it as a bit of independence before marrying Vincente and moving in with his family.

That was another difference between my old faction. Generally speaking, everyone lived in multi-generational housing. That also depended on the family preference on whose family the couple would live with. For my parents, it had been my father's family home that they moved into when they had gotten married. Had I stayed and married him, we would have gone to live with Vin's family but it still would have been close to my grandparents, since the two households were within feet of each other and even shared a personal garden.

Livestock that needs plenty of lands to be able to spread out across and pastures for grazing have a set-aside area and houses are built and scattered around that for those that work with the livestock. These are generally in the same area or at least close to the area where fields are laid out for the various fruits and vegetables Amity grows. Horses and a few ox are used for plowing the fields so it is convenient to have them housed near.

There are also homes surrounding the large lake and dotting the coast for all of the fish or aquatic plant farming.

To get to the zone that houses those who cannot work due to age or sickness we have to take a horse-drawn cart. The ride is a rough one even with going at a slow pace. The terrain is near a smaller branch of the lake where most of the freshwater fish are farmed from. There are a couple of long one-story buildings that mimic the compound living in some respects while being set up to cater to the needs of those that might not be able to get around as easily. The placement of this housing is also near a series of hot springs that are often occupied by some of the residents.

She elbows my side to get an answer from me and I wince in pain before turning a glare on her.

"So what did Coulter do?" She asks again.

My lips thin as I debate how to answer. "Only violate my privacy in one of the worst possible ways."

Her forehead screws up as she looks at me and shakes her head, not understanding what I am talking about.

I blow out a frustrated breath and throw up my hands as well. "My fear sims!"

"Oh, that." She replies and waves a hand in dismissal causing my jaw to drop.

"Oh, that?" I screech then look around to see everyone looking at us. I shoot daggers at them all with my eyes until they mind their own business again and continue on. "How would you like it if someone watched your fear sims, especially someone you are involved with?"

She shrugs and sighs at the same time. "What do you think they did when I was made a leader? I had to actually go through my fears again instead of them just being reviewed."

"That's different." I snarl out. "Eric wasn't watching mine because of some promotion or anything faction related like that."

"Actually, he was, and he wasn't the only one to watch them. A few of us, as well as a few Erudite, watched yours and some other members fear landscapes."

I look at her and tilt my head, my anger easing a little as I see she is being truthful. She runs a hand through her hair and looks out on the horizon.

"Okay," I say slowly, letting her know I am ready to listen calmly. "Explain."

"When all the factions began to gather things they wanted to address in regards to other factions, we used fear landscapes to be able to further the investigations. Partly for the whole divergence issue but for others it helped to build cases for changes. We watched your fear landscapes and had to have them analyzed in regards to how the peace serums played into your fears but also if they interfered with them at all. We already knew it caused you issues for the physical part of the training but we needed something to show for the other aspects. It was part of the evidence we used to put restrictions on the administration of peace serum."

"So, the only reason he watched them was for the investigation?" I ask doubtfully.

Tori gives me a side smile and shakes her head. "I didn't say that was the only reason he might have, but I can tell you it wasn't his idea to review them in the first place. That was me and Elijah. I can also tell you Eric was hesitant to watch them himself at first. He was going to just leave it us but knew he would need to be able to give his own testimony if called on."

"If this was that long ago, why would he have been hesitant?"

"You know why even if you aren't going to admit it." She says on a chuckle.

"There is no way he was interested back then." I stubbornly reject the idea and turn away from her even though a small part of me hopes that I am wrong.

"Believe what you will," She sighs from beside me. "Can you tell me though, if he had shown interest back then that you would have been anywhere ready for it? Because I can tell you that neither of you were in any kind of shape for something real."

I don't deny it as I feel my anger really start to deflate but the fear, the one that haunts me and that makes me question this, is in full force.

"It is real?" I mutter and look down at my hands.

Tori wraps an arm around my shoulders and gives me a gentle squeeze. "If you let it be."

* * *

Hours later we are finally back at the compound. Everyone is in various states of groaning or complaining as they get out of the cart. Meanwhile, I have already jumped off and am helping to unhook the horses from the carts.

"Devi, we are going to head to get cleaned up before dinner," Tris calls out to me, beckoning me to come with them.

"You guys go on ahead. I am going to help with the horses." I reply with a smile and a laugh as the mare chuffs happily to be free of the harness.

I hear Tori saying they would see me soon but I am already absorbed in the task ahead and give them a distracted wave.

I lead her to the stable and begin the grooming process while the driver already took the equipment to clean and put away. I lose myself in the familiar rhythm and am able to put aside all the thoughts and feelings I have been caught up in. Forgetting for the moment the unease I am having at being back in Amity. Forgetting the conflicting feelings of hoping for something while at the same time being afraid of it.

Pushing aside the anger and disappointment at some of the discoveries we made while at the ' _tranquility center'_. It was clear that serum was the name of the game there to keep the occupants happy and pliable.

I tune everything out so well I don't hear my name being called softly from behind me. I am not aware of someone trying to get my attention until I feel a soft tap on my shoulder that causes both me and Cinnamon, the mare I am grooming, to startle.

I whip around to look at the intruder and have to pause because at first, I don't believe who it is.

"Rain?"

She smiles shyly at me and nods. "It's me."

I shake my head with a frown and hold up a finger. "Give me a second here."

I turn away and back to Cinnamon, settling her down before pushing the gate to her stall closed.

When I finish with that, I start brushing my hands and clothes off, heading to the spigot where there is water to wash up a little.

"How is it that you in Amity and how long have you been here?" I ask Rain softly after she hands me one of the towels to dry my hands.

I look over her, seeing that her injuries from that last fight are fading nicely. She doesn't seem to be favoring the leg that had a hairline fracture on it.

"I was brought here," She pauses and scrunches up her nose in thought for a second, "I think two days after I left Dauntless. I'm not sure, it was all kind of a blur and I was still in so much pain from that fight. My one and only fight." She dejectedly mumbles at the end.

"Did some of the factionless bring you here to heal?" I asked and indicated for us to take a seat outside of the stable on a few hay bales.

Amity has been known to allow factionless to seek shelter or treatment in the faction. I haven't seen this happen before but I know it has happened. My Abuela was one of the people that would be called to help tend to them and provide food on occasion.

Rain shakes her head and joins me on what is serving as seating for us. I notice that her clothes while a bit worn are definitely Amity colors and issue. If I hadn't known that she had picked Dauntless and failed out, I would think she was Amity still.

"No, I was being helped by some factionless at first but they weren't who brought me here. Shortly after I met up with the factionless, the group I was with and a few others, were all rounded up by a Dauntless patrol. The others were all scared and worried, saying they only did this when something bad had happened or they are looking for someone in particular. I got the impression that this wasn't ever a good thing but I didn't understand why exactly. Then they had all the women line up. I had to be helped to stand as they worked their way down. They were doing some kind of scan or something with a tablet but when they got to me they stopped and said ' _this is her'_. Then, before I knew it, I was being pulled away and made to go with them."

Her voice was trembling as she was relaying her story and I reached over to take her hand in mine.

"Did they say what they wanted?" I prompted her softly.

She shook her head while looking down. "Not a word even though I was begging them to tell me what I did wrong."

I scowl and feel my temper rising. "Did they hurt you?"

She looks up at me with her eyes wide. "Oh no. They didn't hurt me. Even when they were taking me off, they were firm but mindful of me being hurt. They just wouldn't say anything to me. I was scared right up to when they had me get in the back seat of a truck. I was terrified when I was finally able to focus and saw who was in the back of the truck with me. I didn't think it could be anything good when Eric is involved."

"Eric," I gasp out in surprise. "Eric was in the back of the truck?"

She nods in reply and continues on. "I kept wondering what was going on but I didn't dare ask him any questions. He just sat there silently and the truck took off. Before I knew it I was waking up and we were pulled up outside of the compound. I could faintly hear voices and when I looked out I saw Eric and Johanna talking about something. Whatever it was was over quickly, then he motions to one of the guys who had put me in the truck and once again I was being moved, but this time I was taken inside to Johanna's office. Then they left."

I bit my lip in consternation and disbelief. "Did they say anything before leaving? About why you were being left in Amity?"

"Not directly, but I heard Eric saying something to her as we passed. He was giving her a warning and said that she needed to fix it or else the other factions would fix it for Amity." She looks at me seriously and continues. "When I asked Johanna why later, she told me that I was wronged and because of that, I was being given the chance to go back home. She wouldn't say anything else though."

I nod in thought. "Rain, before you transferred, were you taking peace serum or eating some of the foods with the serum in it?"

Rain nods with a shrug. "Of course. Momma always bakes it into our bread. Why?"

I sigh as it all starts coming together for me. "Rain, do you remember how you told me that you came to Dauntless because you heard I made it?"

She nods in an affirmative.

"Well, I really almost didn't make it and it was harder for me than anyone in my initiation class because I was trying to recover from a lifetime on peace serum."

She frowns in confusion. "I don't understand."

I take a deep breath and explain. I tell her about the symptoms I faced from my body detoxing and going through withdrawal. How it affected me physically, mentally and emotionally. How I had to learn to deal with all of that on my own while going through fighting and fear sims and all the other things they threw at us during training. I asked her if she had experienced any of that and she admitted she had but she was too afraid to tell anyone.

"So they were supposed to stop giving dependents the serum? Do you think my mom knew?"

I shrug and am afraid to say that they most likely did. "Have you talked to your mom?"

"No. I am technically in Amities initiation now. They gave me that option after I healed up and I accepted. I won't get the chance to go see them for at least another month."

I gave her hand a gentle squeeze and smiled at her. "I am glad you are okay, Rain."

She smiles back and nods. "Thank you for trying to help me. I hope I didn't get you in trouble with Four. I remember you arguing with him while I was in the clinic."

I laugh and shake my head. "Trust me. You didn't get me in trouble. I seem to do that enough all by myself."

* * *

Eric wasn't at dinner when I finally joined the others. There was some kind of issue with one of the patrol stations at the fence that had Eric and Four to go out and take a few guys to take care of whatever the issue was. I made sure to sit with Tris, Tori, and Rain.

My friends were as surprised to see her as I had been. They didn't question her on how that came about after I mouthed to them that I would tell them later.

After dinner, I got a new perspective on the nightlife of Amity. I never realized that there was one major thing Dauntless and my old faction had in common. They both use any excuse to have a party.

Amity would call it a ' _celebration of the gifts of the universe_ ' or some such poetic reasoning. Dauntless didn't even bother with trying to come up with an excuse.

I hung out with the two girls for a little while, gathered around the fire and sipping on a drink that Tori had made extra sure wasn't laced with any additives. There were those drinks around but there had been a solid effort to make the two drinks and foods as far from each other as possible with plenty of indications which one was which.

I did notice a few of the group, mostly from Dauntless and Candor though I think an odd Erudite was in there too, that frequented the ' _contaminated_ ' table. As Tori referred to it with a sneer.

There was music and dancing, people singing along. All in all, it was a lively affair but I just didn't have the need to stick around for very long.

I decided to head to the cabin we were given and Tris tagged along. Tori decided to stick around a little longer, with the reasoning that there were still some dependents around and she wanted to make sure that they weren't being given anything extra in their drinks or food.

I didn't make it ten steps before I found my way blocked and for the second time today I was faced with someone I wasn't expecting to be faced with.

"Devana. I thought that was you."

I come to a dead stop, freezing in place.

"Vin," His name escapes me in a whisper as I take in his smile and the pools of green and gold in his hazel eyes. His eyes had always been my most favorite feature and never failed to make me feel like I would get lost in them if I looked too deeply.

I watch as those eyes move over me, taking me in while still smiling widely. Tris is close to me, and I can feel her tension but she doesn't interfere other than introducing herself when Vin asks for her name. I don't know how many minutes go by while small talk is made that I can't for the life of me remember.

All I can really focus on is the glaze of his eyes, had really thought that was for me and not a result of being stoned out of his mind. The smile that never leaves his face stretches the skin tightly in the only way a false smile can. His words are fleeting, shallow and meaningless because in this state he isn't capable of anything substantial. Did I really think he was full of wisdom and marvel at how beautifully he put things before?

Vincente is soon joined by a young woman that I vaguely remember from my time in Amity. He introduces her as his wife and the baby on her hip as his son. They don't stay long, thankfully, but I still stay in the same spot trying to process what I am feeling.

"Are you okay?" Tris asks me worriedly.

I blink and look at her for a moment then look to where the man I thought I loved is walking away from him. I watch him and his family and wait for something, a pang of loss or jealousy, but I don't feel that at all.

I feel anger. Wondering how someone can want to live their life like that and believe it is okay to make others live that way. I watch him walk away and wait

I feel sadness and resentment.

Most of all I feel pity.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and shake my head then look back at Tris.

"Yeah," I answer her with a grin. "Yeah, I'm good."

If I went into my fear landscapes, I wonder if they would be the same. I know Tris has said she was able to master a few of hers making a few go away only to be replaced with a few new ones. Would that be true for me? Would I still see myself as a perpetual zombie, incapable of truly giving myself to anyone?

I am not sure that fear will ever go away, but right now, at this moment it sure feels like it has. I get what Eric was afraid of now, why he said he shared the fear. Knowing that, along with his own past, I have an idea of why Eric has done some of the things he has done and in the way he has done them.

The question is how do I let him know that I understand?


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: No long note. This is coming to a close soon. Had to break the chapter up or it would have been extremely long. On a side note, a suggestion was made that I might do Eric's POV for this story. Wonder if that would be something you beauties would be interested in? Otherwise, as always, thank you all for the love for this story. The views, reviews, follows and faves are amazing as always but reviews are definitely my favorite candy.**

 **Disclaimer: I own naught but my own plot and the cherry bombs I throw within.**

* * *

 **Part 12**

I hadn't meant to fall asleep on the couch in the living room. I fully meant to go ahead and sleep in the room given to us. Plans have a way of going astray, especially when wine is involved.

Tris and I had been sitting in the living room talking when Tori burst in with a sly smile, looking flushed and excited.

It seems that some kids had tried to raid the wine and had almost gotten away before a patrol caught them. It wasn't the tainted kind, fortunately, which is the only reason I think they gave a shit enough to stop them, to begin with.

Regardless, Tori had claimed it was only right she confiscate the bottles.

The three of us had split the three bottles between us; talking and drinking the rest of the night. Tris has definitely been corrupted by the Pedrad's. I found this out as she helped me plot and make plans for me confronting Eric the next day. Some of them were extremely, risqué which had me shocked they were coming from the former Abnegation. Tori threw in her own ideas and by the end of it, I had a respectable plan in mind.

My earlier agitation and anger at Eric for having watched my fear landscapes came up. Now that Tori explained things to me, I wasn't as hacked off about it. It still had me wondering if it was only about watching for the investigation or if there had been more for him. I was also wondering about what he meant in regard to sharing my fear. Did it mean he was afraid that I am so damaged because of my past and dependent on peace serum to even be capable of love? Did he mean he fears that about himself? I shared my anger and hurt about the revelation he had watched my fears, but the girls didn't have any more answers for me, other than the suggestion to talk to Eric about it. But it did get Tris talking and reveal how Four had actually let her know about his past, by taking her into his fear landscape.

I told her I couldn't imagine having willingly exposed myself like that to someone. I hadn't loved the idea when it was required for initiation, but to invite someone to see what the worst parts of you could be, is really brave. Especially when it is someone that you care for. She had gotten a sappy smile and shrugged in reply.

It was a good way to end the day, even if Tris and I ended up passed out on the couches. Tori had dismissed herself long before that time.

I only woke up when Eric was prying the bottle of wine from my hand that I was still holding when I passed out. I groggily looked around and saw Four doing something similar with Tris on the other couch, but he was having a harder time because she kept trying to pull him down onto the couch with him, giggling at the same time.

Eric had much more success in getting me up and was carrying me out of the room while Four was still trying to handle Tris.

He put me into the bed wordlessly and I rolled over to my side, snuggling into the covers and pillows, too tired to do more than grunt some kind of thanks to him. I was already on my way back to sleep when I felt him climb into bed behind me. The warmth of his body as he surrounded me matched and intensified the warm fuzzy feeling the night of wine left me with.

Yeah, it wasn't a bad way to end the night at all.

* * *

Of course, I was dead asleep and oblivious to Eric waking up and getting out of bed. I didn't even wake a little bit when he got up, I was so dead asleep. I normally sleep hard anyways, but after what was a really emotionally exhausting day topped off by a bottle of wine, I was dead to the world.

The thing that finally did rouse me from my coma-like state were the sounds outside of the window to the bedroom. They were unfamiliar and unsettling after the absence of them for over three years. It took a few minutes to figure out where I was at first and then it took a few minutes longer to figure out what I was finding so annoying about it.

"Damn birds," I mutter angrily as I finally get the sleep out of my eyes enough to make it out of bed and to the bathroom.

The birds continued to chirp merrily outside of the walls while I showered, blissfully unaware how unnatural I was finding their song after years of cave-like silence in the place I now call home. The cow grazing in the pasture did so happily despite my glaring at it through the window of the bathroom while I brushed my teeth.

I could blame this all on Dauntless, me not being a morning person, but it would be a lie. Even with the peace serum, I was horribly moody in the mornings. I tended to stay quiet and slink away to the stables every chance I could.

The horses didn't judge me and my surly disposition. In fact, I always rather felt they shared it, being put to work at god awful early hours in the morning.

Today there would be no slinking away to tend to horses. There wouldn't even be the sweet relief of caffeine because that wasn't something Amity had much of unless someone's household preferred it.

It was going to be a long morning without my normal jumpstart. Not to mention I still had to put my plan into action for Eric. Something that required alert senses and my brain to be fully functional. I doubted that was possible without coffee.

I made my way out to the kitchen area, hoping that I might hit pay dirt and find something there for me to make and not having to go to the dome for food. Delicious scents hit me full on when I entered the communal area.

Tris was sitting on one of the bar stools at the island, both hands wrapped around a large ceramic cup and slurping whatever was inside down with slight moans.

She didn't even stop drinking as I came into sight, just used a nod of her head and eyebrow lift to greet me.

I chuckled and used my nose to try and locate what was producing the smells that had my mouth watering.

There were two sources. One was a tray that was loaded with fruit, quiche, sweetbreads and a few breakfast meat selections. The other was one of the large thermos' that dispensed coffee or other hot drinks, like the ones Dauntless has in the mess hall.

Now I understand the moan coming from my friend because I am making that same sound while I fill my own cup, watching the black gold shining at me as it cascades into the ceramic in my hand.

I lean my back against the counter and sip gratefully after the first gulp or two. I close my eyes in bliss before opening them back up and focusing on the tray and the food.

"Where did all this come from?" I ask with a frown, looking between the food and Tris.

"Tori had mentioned arrangements were made for the visitors. This was brought in by Kevin and Jake just after Eric, Tori and Four had to head out to the meeting with the elders."

I nod, tugging my lower lip between my teeth my lip while I think things over. "Do you think it's safe?"

Tris tilts her head in thought after she joins me to stand in front of the tray of food. "I think that I wouldn't want to be anyone in Amity if it wasn't. I do know that Johanna herself was in charge of making sure all the visitors are taken care of and Four said she has been the more reasonable about dealing with the other factions so far."

I let out a low sigh and nod then take a plate and start to fill it up. "She is." I agree softly.

"How well did you know her?" Tris asks me after filling up her own plate.

"I always thought I knew her pretty well, but maybe I didn't know her all that well. I mean, I always saw her as like a mother figure growing up. Especially when my own mom got sick and passed away. They had been close friends," I pause and break open a biscuit, butter it then stuck some sliced ham and tomato between the halves. "Before then, we were already close. She was the one that suggested I train to work with the horses to my family. I wasn't happy at all helping to tend the fields and I don't know how many infractions I got before Johanna stepped in with that suggestion. After mama passed, we became even closer."

We ate for a little bit in silence. Once I actually took a bite of the food that became all I could focus on. Besides I could tell from her thinned lips and the way her eyes were crinkled at the sides, Tris was either trying not to say something or was thinking of a way to say it politely.

"I have an idea what getting an infraction means but I just want to be sure…." She finally starts out saying slowly and carefully.

"I got injected with peace serum," I stated bluntly and with a shrug. "I got warnings before then of course, all suggested nicely that I get an attitude adjustment, or one would be given to me. I was a kid though. I was usually hot and hungry; the work was tiring and even on good days those are horrible combinations for me. I would get moody and silent, pouting basically, or I would mouth off at someone if I lost my temper. So, I would be taken aside and put in a room for reflection time. It wasn't always a physical injection that the peace serum came through. Most times it was in the drink or some sort of food. If you were being punished it was never something that could be considered a treat. So, in the reflection room, it was always a cup of tea that I would be given while someone was there talking to me. Counseling me about my feelings and why they were wrong. By the end of my reflection time, I would see the error of my ways and head out, calm and happy again. Once again content to do whatever I was told without question."

"No wonder they are coming down so hard on that shit! How old were you even? Not that it really makes a bit of difference!" Tris spat out, worked up into a proper snit now that she has personally heard some of my story. I knew she had an idea that I might have been given peace serum in my time at Amity, but I don't think she really knew the extent.

I gave her a sideways smile and patted her arm a little before sighing and answering her. "I wish I could say I wasn't really young the first time I remember the reflection room, but I would be lying. I can remember being no more than four years old and visiting it for the first time. My first infraction was gained when I had gotten into an argument with one of the other kids that escalated into a bit of a tussle. It was stupid really. I don't even remember what it was about, but something they had said or done to one of my friends had made her cry and that made me mad. So, I reacted. We happened to be visiting the greenhouses that day. The ones with all the flowers that Amity sells to the other factions so there were a few adults nearby when it happened."

"Were your parents nearby that day?"

"My Abuelo was there. He was actually the one that broke it up and took me to the reflection room himself."

"Oh Devi," Tris says sadly, her eyes watering, but I realize mine have been as well.

"I don't want to hate them, Tris," I admit finally after swiping the tears away. "For so long, I refused to really admit they had done anything to me. I hear the word abuse and I think, not my family. They never hurt me. They never beat me or starved me or did anything wrong to me. How could it be abuse when none of that ever happened? Because really this is all just okay here." I gesture wildly with my hands out the window to the area surrounding us. "These were all things they had done to them and probably their parents before them. They don't know it is wrong so how could it be wrong? If they didn't knowingly do it, it wasn't, right?"

My defense of them is weak and I know it. I hear it in my voice and see it in her eyes, but she nods and takes lets out a breath.

"I can say the same thing for some of the ways my dad is and how he treated my brother and me. I think he is a good man, has good intentions, but he isn't the most open or affectionate. He came from Erudite, which wasn't something I knew until I had my mom came to visit me during initiation. My brother and I were in the same year and he chose just before me. He chose Erudite, while I picked Dauntless. I can still see my dad's reaction to my brother and I always compare it to his when I picked. I could see the disapproval and dislike pouring off of him, so much stronger when he looked at me than when he watched Caleb. When visiting day came, he went to Erudite while my mom came to see me, making his displeasure clear then. It was like that my whole life too. Always comparing myself and Caleb. I used to think it was in my mind, that he wasn't really pitting us against each other. But really, he kind of always was. I realized afterward that was how he was raised. Always competing, always trying to be better than some measure that was being imposed on him. I didn't know that he was never shown affection or love when he was growing up. That it was normal and expected in Erudite to treat their children that way."

I nod as I swallow after I finally had felt like trying to eat again. "I know. I found that out myself when I met Eric's brother. He said they were raised the same way."

Tris' lips twist in a smile and she lets out a laugh. "Well, that explains a hell of a lot." I join her in the laughter before we resume eating after a minute or so.

"You know, Four had it worse than me in Abnegation. His parents," She stops and shudders. "Well, let's just say it is a wonder he came out of that at all much less with the few issues he had." She looks at me seriously and tilts her head. "We didn't have an easy time of it at first. Neither of us was exactly equipped to communicate even a little bit what we were thinking or feeling. We still have issues we deal with even now a year later. The biggest hurdle I have found is that we both try to deal with things internally rather than a burden or upset the other person. It usually ends up blowing up in our faces though."

I smirked over at her as I grab a piece of sliced melon. "So, what your telling me is that I can expect a lot more days like yesterday if Eric and I continue to see each other?"

She shrugs and gives a grin as she lifts her cup back up. "I am saying that no one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. But the hardest thing to do in the world for me at times is to admit I have been wrong or to make that first step to working things out. I have literally faced knives being thrown at me with a lot less fear and reluctance than trying to work something out with Four. Take from that what you will." She shrugs again and then concentrates on drinking her coffee.

I ponder her words and my own thoughts as I drink from mine, wondering if I am going to find the nerve to face things myself or am I for once, going to back down?

* * *

The day crawled by without anything for me to do. There weren't any meetings I was expected at, and most of the Dauntless that were going to be attending something planned to try and be done by the evening if not before then. Amity was holding a celebration this evening in honor of the other factions visiting. I guess it was their way to try and save face and explain things to their faction as well as butter up the others.

Tris left shortly after our shared breakfast to meet with Four where he was going to go with her to visit the childcare centers that Amity now has set up for all non-school age dependents to be taken care of at when they have no one at home to care for them.

That was a surprising change that hadn't been in any documentation I saw or mentioned before.

No longer would there be homes with too many children and not enough caregivers. There were set centers to send children to for those parents that had no one to stay at home with them.

It makes sense that would be the next step in making sure that dependents aren't being dosed with the serum to control them. I can imagine that those women who had so many children under their care might have used the serum just to keep their sanity. Even when they were the only adult present to tend to a dozen kids, they had seemed fine. They acted happy with their roles, but why wouldn't they be? The kids were docile, happy and all because they were too drugged up to be any other way. Had they not been, then it would be a different story.

I spent the morning cleaning the kitchen area, our room, and bathroom, then wandering the house while imagining the chaos a house full of kids off the serum would become with just one adult present.

I wonder how much crap and resistance the childcare centers had received at first after the sanction was made. I also wonder how fast that tune changed when the women got their first taste of kids operating on all cylinders?

When I had done everything I could inside the house to occupy myself, I set out with an eye on the time. If Tori played her part, Eric would be there just after they broke for lunch and the day. That gave me an hour to get my end set up.

An hour felt like not nearly enough time and an eternity all at once.

* * *

"If you'll just follow me…." I heard the lyrical voice floating back towards me as I lit the last candle.

I didn't hear his response if he even gave one, but I could hear heavy steps that could only belong to Eric. Steps that were rapidly coming my way. I scrambled behind the curtained area to be out of sight like I had planned, and stood just behind the curtain, nervously listening as they entered the room.

"What is this?" I could hear the impatience in his tone and knew he was scowling without having to even see his face. "I thought you said Devi was here?"

"All will be revealed." Charity replied in an airy tone, trying to soothe, but I could hear a slight tremor in it. She had been all too willing to help me, but I might have forgotten to mention the name of the person she was going to be helping me pull this off on. "Now, if you will just…."

I frown when I hear a shuffle and a grunt before Eric barks angrily at her. "Get your hands off me." Now I am scowling as I step out from the curtain. Nothing was said about her touching him at all.

"You need to undress. I thought it would be better…."

"You thought wrong. I don't like to be touched." Eric snaps out at her. I see him adjusting his uniform again and looking around in disgust while Charity is shuffling away.

She looks over to me, blushing and wide-eyed. She mouths an apology, but I wave her away with a smirk.

"That will make this a bit difficult, Coulter," I call out, pulling Eric's attention to me and allowing Charity to happily escape.

His head snaps, he whips it around so fast to see me. He pauses and narrows his eyes, trying to get a better look at me, but I kept to the shadows for a reason.

"Make what difficult?" He asks with a frown before he stops and looks to where Charity had been standing before she disappeared. "Wait. Was this some kind of test?" He hisses out angrily taking a step forward.

A test? What kind of test would I…...?

Oh!

Realizing how that might have seemed, I step forward just a bit more and shake my head while holding my hands out in the gesture letting him know to stop.

"No, it wasn't a test, Eric. I completely forgot that for the girls here helping the people feel at ease is part of the process."

He does halt in stepping forward and his eyes move over me for a second, not really able to see more than my outline, then move slowly to look around the room.

I can see he is processing what is around him with what I have said, trying to put it all together.

The tables of varying heights that have different candles on them. The walls are adorned with different things that are all geared towards making the environment a soothing and relaxing place. Woven tapestries in soothing patterns. Carvings of different motifs and themes, usually something tribal or geometric. Chimes of shells and driftwood that create soft sounds as they come together in a gentle breeze.

Shelves are stocked with oils, lotions, candles, and implements of wood or stone to help with will take place here. In one corner sits a tall urn looking thing that is heated from within. On top of it rests a metal bowl that can and is filled with stones. A bucket of water sits beside it with a ladle to pour over the heated stones. This, in combination with some oils, can help to relax further. In close quarters, this would be used for steam baths and is a great help to the skin.

For now, and my purposes, it will help set the tone with warm and the light citrus scent I prefer to other flowery ones. Should I wish to use them, the stones that are on the shelf will be heated in the room behind the curtain where I already have a few oils being warmed for use. All this will depend on Eric and how open he is to all this.

"So, what is all this?" Eric finally asks after he let a long glance linger over the platform on the ground.

"All this." I gesture to the room. "Is where I show you what all ' _that herb and massage crap_ ' can do for you," I answer him with a smirk remembering how he referred to things when he first questioned me about them not too long ago, even though it feels like months now.

In the flickering light, I can see his eyebrow go up at my words. His lips twitch and his head tilts. "I don't believe I ever asked to be made a part of a show and tell."

"Well, actions speak louder than words, and since you clearly weren't grasping the meaning of them, I thought a practical application might be better suited to your learning style."

I taunt him with my words haughtily feeling a surge of confidence that we are in a domain I feel comfortable in and daring him.

He sucks in air between his teeth loudly enough that it truly does sound like the hissing of some serpent and I wonder if maybe I have gone too far. "Fine." He grinds out firmly. "Where do you want me?"

I smile and use my hand to gesture towards the platform. "On there, but you will need to get completely undressed first."

I swallow a little nervously as I wait for his reaction. This is honestly a first for me. What I have planned. My massages until now have centered on specific areas and generally on mostly clothed if not fully clothed patients. Never before have I had someone fully undressed and never have, I ever contemplated doing the kind of massage I am about to now.

He doesn't reply but he does look skeptical at first. That doesn't prevent him from starting the process of removing his clothes. He steps further across the room where a bench is and sits on it.

I don't stay to watch him after I saw him pull his boots off. I dip back behind the curtain to grab what I need and put it all on the tray for me to carry out. I listen to him though. Grunting occasionally or the odd grumble.

"How the hell am I supposed to be on this thing?" Eric calls out to me, and I can hear the discomfort in his tone.

I keep my laugh in but smile as I reply.

"It's just like a bed, It just has firmer and thinner padding. Lay on your stomach but don't use the pillows like you normally would. Those are for positioning later."

I let the last bit slip out before realizing how it would sound and groan softly at his deep chuckle.

"Good to know."

I want to snap at him to shut up and just get on the fucking bed while I blush furiously, but I don't.

I miraculously hold it together.

When I feel enough time has passed for him to be on the platform and ready for me, I grab the tray and make my way out to him. I almost expect him to be lounging on his back with his hands laced behind his head with a cocky smirk on his face, but he isn't.

He is naked laying on his stomach like I asked, and his head turned away from where I am walking into the room. His hands do appear laced together, but he is using them to rest his head on. When he hears me enter the room, he starts to turn but I am already out of his line of sight.

"Do I need to be worried about that big bowl of volcanic rock over there in the corner and what it might be used for?" He asks me with just a tinge of worry in the words.

I snort out a laugh and shake my head. "Not today," I reply before turning towards him. "Let your arms go to either side of your body, down at your sides with the palms pointing up."

I watch him as he moves without question, laying his head back onto the mat. "Okay," Eric says softly. "Now what?"

I take a deep breath and grab the tie of the robe I have been wearing, let out the breath and undo the tie before shrugging out of it. "Now we begin."

* * *

At first, he is so stiff that it takes me repeatedly telling him to relax, in as soothing a tone I can, for him to even get to a state to _let_ me begin. The first touch of the warm oil to him causes him to tighten so bad I am afraid muscles are going to snap they are being pulled so tightly.

Eventually, he does relax, and I do as well. Almost forgetting I am just as naked as he is.

I start out as I would a normal massage. The big differences for me are that one, I am completely and awkwardly naked. Two, the platform bed/table is different than I am used to and requires the person to climb up onto it next to the person they are working on. This does allow for different angles and better pressure to be applied. But it also brings our bodies into contact more often.

I am surprised that he doesn't notice or mention this fact. I feel like he has to know when I lean down close to work his neck, shoulders and back, that my bare chest is brushing against him.

I come to a point in my work that I know if I am going to actually go through with it, I need to just do it already. I start slowly, shyly, and more than a little scared of how he will react to this.

I move down to his feet and let my fingers slide against his legs, over his calf muscles up until just above the knee. My touch and how I am touching him has completely changed.

I use the back of my fingernails in one direction while using the tips of my fingers in the other. I use one hand to trace circle patterns in his skin while sliding the full length of my hand over his other leg, caressing and lovingly.

Playful even.

I hear his moan and feel a flexing of the muscle beneath my hand. But he doesn't speak otherwise, and it doesn't seem to me he knows what is really going on now.

I get a little bolder and start to use more of my body other than my hands to touch him. To rub in the dribbles of oil that I reach for and apply to both my body and his.

It is just about the time when the swell of my breasts first brush against the cheeks of his ass that he gets a clue.

"Oh fuck, Devi." He groans out in pleasure. More of me comes into contact with him and there can be no doubt now what is going on, but he still asks. It is hushed and so soft I might have missed it if I weren't tuned to catch any reaction from him. "What are you doing to me, little one?"

"I would think that it would be obvious, Eric," I reply with a breathy tone as I slide more of my body along his.

He groans again, and I feel him tense, getting ready to move. Maybe turn over or something. So, I pull my body away but put a hand on his back to firmly keep him place.

He huffs in frustration but stays put. "What is this, Devi." He demands of me. "Is this really…." He trails off and I can see his jaw tightening. "Is this something you do normally? A normal massage?"

Yesterday, if he had asked that question of me, and in the emotionless tone he asked it, I would've snapped. I would have gotten pissed thinking he was implying something about me or just completely gotten in my own head and not been able to read, not so much _what_ he asked but the _way_ he asked.

Eric doesn't know the right words and he knows this. The best he can do is to make his tone as devoid of anything, trying to let me know with the tone alone the question he can't put to words.

"This is called a Nuru massage, and it is one I have only read and studied about but have never done before," I admit softly and wait and wait a little more until I don't think I am going to get any kind of response or reaction.

But he lets out a breath that I realize he had been holding only when he slowly exhales. His body releases a tension that built up without me knowing in my own tense waiting and the sides of his lips are curled in a smile when I look at his face for confirmation of it all.

I figure that is as good as it will get, and I continue on. I start again. Just like I did before with the small bits until it is time for the larger bits. Occasionally he shifts and groans. Sounding as if he is in pain but protesting when I asked if he is.

After the second time he shifts, I realize he is also trying to adjust himself and that is where his groaning is coming from. Feeling that must be pretty painful and knowing I have done his backside pretty well by now, I tell him to turn over.

He moves faster than I can back up. Pulling me in for a kiss before I know what is happening. When he breaks away again, I am panting and looking out through glazed eyes to see him easing back. He is sitting in front of me with one leg laid out and the other bent forward, one arm resting on it almost casually except for the clench of his fist. His blue eyes burning me as they move to take me in and he licks his lips.

"Are we really going to keep this up?" He asks after his eyes snap back up to mine.

I nod numbly at first, swallow and then nod more firmly. "Yes. Lay back so I can finish."

He growls then flops back. I bite my lip to hold back the almost hysterical chuckle bubbling inside of me. He flops back, and his cock tries to mimic the action, only it just ends up going straight up to attention looking both extremely proud and angry at the same time.

 _Paciencia, Devi. Eso será todo tuyo de nuevo pronto._

"Fuck. You better make good on that soon, little one." Eric's growled words startled me, making me realize I have yet again spoken my thoughts out loud.

My entire body blushes, heating up and making me squirm uncomfortably.

I might need to reevaluate my next moves. I don't think either of us is going to last much longer.

"You think?" I can hear the smirk in his voice and in his words.

I glare at Eric while cursing my inability to keep my internal musings internal. I take his words as a challenge and watch as his cock twitches, mocking me back.

"Bueno, mira quién rompe primero." I reply with a smirk.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: See the end for a note from me.**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I own naught but my own plot and...you know the rest of spiel...**

* * *

 **Part 13**

Eric groans while his muscles jump and tremble underneath his oil-slicked skin as I brush or rub my body against his. I can hear his nails as they scrape and dig into the padding of the platform bed with the effort he is making to hold himself back.

I bite my lip and look down into his blue eyes burning his desire up at me and a moan escapes my lips as my chest presses against his and I writhe my body against his. He closes his eyes tightly, his mouth snaps shut so hard his teeth clack together and he grinds them.

His chin jerks as he tilts his head back when my diamond hard nipples rake across his skin.

I should feel smug with how hard he is having to fight himself from grabbing me like I know he is dying to do, but I can't make myself feel an ounce of that when I'm wishing with everything I am that he'll be the one to give in.

What the hell had I been thinking to issue the challenge of who would break first? Has Eric _ever_ broken first in all our encounters together? No. The man has the iron will of the gods!

I'm exhausting all the things I can come up with to make him break until there is a moment that is like a light bulb flipping on as I slither my body down his again, ready to repeat the same motion back up. It just so happens that his cock lines up with the valley between my breasts. In a coincidence of timing, I also happened to be pressing my arms inward, causing my breasts to smush together exactly as he nestled between them.

His body jerks up on instinct before he could stop himself and his head pops up from the bed to look at me with wild eyes.

It dawns on me then just how much he liked that when he starts to shake his head from side to side as if to deny his bodies reaction to himself or me, and a smile snakes across my face.

He hasn't broken eye contact from me even when I had to move and lower my head so I could get in position. When I look back up I see an intensity in his eyes that I don't understand other than it's not from all burning with lust.

"You are playing a very dangerous game, Devi," Eric growls out a warning, barely able to even get the words out as I have already moved myself to have better control for what I'm about to do.

I lower my eyes with a frown and stare at the tightened planes of his muscles that shape his abdomen. Words float to me in my mind, piercing through the haze of my own desire. Ones from the morning I woke up in his apartment and when I first questioned what this was between us. When I had struggled to believe this was anything to him other than a game. I had still clung to them, in the back of my mind, that this wasn't going to end up being real.

The breathe stutters in my chest as I try to drag a big enough one in to calm myself for what I know needs to happen next. I had planned to strip myself bare, that was what this started out about, but the act isn't enough.

"Not a game, Eric," I reply softly at first as I remember his exact words and then give them back to him. I raise my eyes again to meet his. "This is about you and me."

I hear his silent inhalation at my words and how solemn they are, his eyes crinkle at the sides and he waits for me to say more. At first, I almost don't but I know that this is how I let him know.

"It was never a game." I finish softly and wait.

His reaction, at first, is just a softening in his expression. He takes a breath and I fidget nervously, preparing for what he is going to say but there are no words.

He gave a simple tight jerk of his chin upwards as his hands shot down to me, his stomach flexing tightly as he did a slight curl to reach his target. Strong hands grip me under my arms.

I let go of the hold I had on him and gasp as he lifts me, making me feel like a doll with how easy he makes it seem. I let out a very undignified and far from sexy squeak as he continues to make me feel just like a doll and moves me to how he wants me, on my back on the bed and with him hovering over me, smiling and chuckling.

I have a moment of panic at my admission. Inside there is that fear that wants to stop any further exposing of myself, but I don't give in. The sound and smile are full of genuine happiness.

He leans forward and brushes his lips against mine, pulling back when I lean forward. Eric brings a hand up to the side of my face, his thumb brushing over my lips lightly as he leans back just enough to catch my eyes with his. That intensity from earlier is back making the blue of his eyes darker.

"No, it was never a game." He agrees softly. The pad of his thumb traces over my lips, making them tingle and quietly gasping as it ghosts over them. Eric was watching with rapt attention and a slow wicked grin began to curl up the edges of his mouth.

"That doesn't mean we can't still play." The words come out in a throaty growl making me gasp even more. Especially when I feel his body rubbing against mine.

I reach out to try and grab his hips, to bring him closer to me but he whips his own out and grabs mine, pinning them to the bed then pulling back with a leer down at me. "Not this time, little one. Keep them right there."

Words escape me so I can only nod in response. He smirks at me briefly before pulling back completely onto his knees. He looks around the room for a moment then back at me, licking his lips.

"What was it you said earlier? That practical application is better suited to my learning style?" He arches an eyebrow as he pierces me with his gaze. He never breaks that as he leans over to where I have the tray of oils and lotions to the side of us. He picks up a bottle of the warm oil and grins widely down at me as my eyes widen once I realize where he's going with this. "Shall we see how well I learned?"

He doesn't even give me time to respond before he tips the bottle and warm oil is drizzling between the valley of my breasts. The experience of having this done by someone else is beyond words. I still have no words as his hands descend to my flesh.

The last rational thought I have as I look up at Eric, his eyes filled with determination and desire is that this is one game I definitely don't mind playing at all.

* * *

"Not that I'm complaining," Eric's speaks, making his chest to rumble where my back is pressed against him. "But weren't you so pissed at me you were contemplating castration or something like that?"

I pant out a chuckle and lick my lips but can't answer right now. My body is still trembling from the explosive orgasm that I just experienced and my breath hasn't resumed enough for me to do more than try and suck in enough oxygen.

We're still in the back room of the Healing Center, sprawled out on the platform bed. Time has no meaning right now so I'm not even sure how long we have been in the room I booked for us to use. Fortunately, when these kinds of rooms are used they are done for the day, so I don't have to worry about anyone intruding on us in our little bubble.

Eric trails his a finger down my arm lightly and I can feel his breath as he leans over me. I turn my head and let my body follow as he rolls me to my back where his hand moves in lazy patterns over me while he holds my eyes with his.

Despite knowing he is waiting for an answer from me, he doesn't have the normal impatience he might normally have. He's completely relaxed and at peace. It's odd to see this expression on his face, but it fills me with such warmth to know that I am the cause of this.

I reach up and lightly brush the side of his face with my fingertips and mimic his movements with my own along his features. The sides of his lips curl up but he lets out a small sigh and I smile in response.

"Castration was never one of the things running through my mind," I whisper on a chuckle as my touch draws a reaction from a certain body part.

He huffs out a laugh. "You'd miss it too much, huh?"

"Mmmm," I reply distractedly. My thoughts are caught up on the events that led to this moment. I sigh softly and Eric reaches up to take my hand in his before I could let it drop.

He squeezes softly and gets my attention. "It wasn't something….I didn't want too…"

He stops awkwardly and frowns. His forehead wrinkling deeply. The tension that he always carries around was slowly seeping back into him.

"I know now, Eric. I realize that it was part of what you guys were trying to get done. Tori explained it to me." I bite my lip and push down the other questions that have been running through my mind, starting from that day he showed up in the clinic really.

He smiles knowingly at me before shaking his head and sighing. He reaches up to run a hand through his hair then gives a grunt of disgust as it pulls away oily. I laugh and reach up to twirl some of the rather long hair and ignore his glare as I play with the curls that he hides by styling the hell out of his hair.

I let one of the curls go and it bounces slightly. At the same time, oil drips off it and lands on my face. I reach up and wipe it way, my lips curling in disgust while Eric nods in agreement, not even bothering to laugh.

"Is there a shower in this place?" He asks motioning to the room and the curtained off area with his hand.

I shake my head in the negative and bite my lip with a slight flush of embarrassment. "Umm….there is a bath...of sorts here."

He looks back at me with his eyebrow raised and eyes narrowing at me, taking in my reaction. "I'm not going to like it, am I?"

I shrug casually and try to hide my laughter. "I guess it depends on how you feel about communal bathing?"

Eric closes his eyes and lets out a hiss that carries the words, ' _fucking hippies_ ' on it. He opens his eyes again and I can tell he's weighing his options. I admit that I am thinking about them now too and cursing myself for not having thought about them earlier.

Between the sweat, oil, and lotion we are a complete mess.

Our bodies are completely saturated with a combination of oil and lotion. Eric had gone a little crazy with his application of them. His hair got the worst of it as I hadn't cared that I was transferring it when I had his hair gripped in my hands while he was driving me crazy. My hair hadn't escaped but mine wasn't as bad as his.

"I can get something to get some of it off of us and we can make a dash for the cabin." I offer with a shrug.

He nods but is grumbling under his breath about having to throw away the clothes that will most likely forever more smell like a perfume bottle exploded on him.

I rolled my eyes and went to get up before he grunted and pulled me back with an arm around my waist and nipping my ear playfully. "I saw that." He purred in my ear before tugging the earlobe in between his teeth again. "We are still going to have that conversation, Devi. I know there is more going on in that mind of yours."

His tone is serious and firm and I nod in agreement while nerves flutter in my stomach. He releases me and I move away to the curtained area where I gather up what will help us to clean up at least a little bit. In all, I have a big bowl of hot water, a couple of sponges and some towels as well. When I come back out, Eric is already waiting at the edge of the bed and is looking back at it with a smug smile on it as he sees the mess he, no doubt, is determined to leave behind.

I shake my head with a smile and set everything down and walks over to me looking over everything.

"Sponge bath it is then. Who's first?" He asks with a smile and a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows that leaves me laughing.

* * *

"You guys are giving the big party a miss?" Four was asking Eric in the kitchen area where Eric had gone after our shared shower to scrounge up some food.

"Hell yeah. I've just about hit my limit for the number of times I can hear the phrase, 'peace and love'." I could hear the grouchy expression in Eric's reply even before I saw it for myself.

Tris looks up at me and grins knowingly as I approach while the guys are still oblivious to me.

Both of us are dressed extremely casual, Eric shockingly so considering there are other people around. But that relaxed air carried us out of the Healing Center despite knowing we were going to be around others once we left. We made a mad dash to the cabin, with him playfully taunting me about my short stature, until he had just picked me up and thrown me over his shoulder and run with me all the way to the cabin, in the door and barely allowing me down before he was dragging me into the shower with him.

I am pretty sure that Tris and Four were here for that and for the ruckus we made in the shower itself. That thing was not meant for Eric sized people at all much less adding me into the mix. It had been interesting, to say the least.

My hair is still wet but thankfully we managed to get most of the oil out of our hair. Eric's is still suffering from being drenched in it. His hair is currently slicked back as much as the curls that won't straighten out will allow. Eric had merely shrugged and said it wasn't a big deal before leaving the shower so I could work on my severely longer and thicker hair. He had thrown on some sweatpants and a tank top, then said he would go see what we had to eat.

I hadn't complained. The man was going to feed me.

He's standing at the same kitchen counter I was at this morning where there was another arrangement of food. This time it looked to be the makings for sandwiches along with a selection of fruits and other items.

Whatever he was working on has both Four and Tris watching him from across the counter while sitting on stools and with plates of their own late lunches.

Eric looks up to see me when I get closer and motions to a stool beside the others. "Take a seat, it'll be ready in a second." The order is gruff and he turns away to go to the refrigerator.

I raise an eyebrow but don't argue, sliding up onto a stool beside Tris. I look at her and Four's plates and see sandwiches and fruit. "What will be ready in a second?"

"He says he's making pasta salad." Four grunted out and polished off the last of his lunch.

"I am." Eric's muffled reply comes from him as his head is stuck in the fridge.

I smile widely and shrug at the other two. "You heard him."

Tris elbows Four as he goes to make some reply and then shakes her head. She leans in to whisper to him but I can still hear it. "The bear has become a gentle giant. Let's not do anything to mess that up."

I can hear the order in her voice and hide my smirk as I reach across the counter, intent on grabbing one of the sweet buns that are just sitting there taunting me. Before I can though, Eric is back and is slapping my hand away. I glare at him but he doesn't seem phased at all. He just shrugs and continues on putting the things in his arms down.

"You were the one that said someone needed to save you from yourself earlier."

I huff and cross my arms over my chest knowing I can't disagree. I did go crazy eating up all the sweetbreads this morning while waiting to leave.

"What are you guys going to do if you aren't going to the big party?" Tris asks looking on with interest as Eric is slicing up various vegetables.

Already my mouth is watering with the array he has going on. So far, I've seen bell peppers, olives, onion and those small cherry tomatoes I love to eat just by themselves.

I shrug and look at Tris who looks to be finished with her lunch as well. "Probably just hang out around here."

"Or we could go check out the stables." Eric offers up with a shrug and turns to the stove where I am assuming the pasta is.

"Okay, who are you and what the fuck have you done with Eric Coulter?" Four practically shouts the question out.

I wince and snap my head around to look between him and Eric, waiting to see how he's going to react. I see his shoulders tensing slightly before they drop back into the relaxed position there were in. He turns towards us slowly, and I see Tris' hand go to grab Four's arm while she shoots him a murderous glare.

Eric just saunters over to the counter with a smile on his lips, picks up the sweet bun I had been reaching for earlier, and then takes a big bite. He chews dramatically, his eyes shooting over to me for a brief second to give me a wink before he looks back to Four and swallows.

Then he shrugs and smiles again. "Now you have a logical reason for me not being such an asshole. When we get back to the compound, it'll be business as usual. Wouldn't want to ruin your that massive grudge you carry around, now would we?"

Tris is fuming and I am not far from it either, but something is holding me back from going off on Four at the moment.

 _Maybe there is something in the bread after all?_

After looking between the three of us, Four sighs as he runs his hand through his hair and then shakes his head. He slides off his stool and stands beside it awkwardly, then walks over to Eric.

Uneasiness spreads through me but I still wait and watch.

Tris and I both watch as Four gets closer and Eric turns to him, eyes narrowed but face impassive and head tilted.

"I was reminded not too long ago that our…." Four pauses as if searching for the right word before starting again, "...animosity isn't just one-sided but it took last night and this morning in that meeting for me to really see it. I can't say it will go away overnight, but I am willing to let the past be past if you are."

Tris inhales deeply, obviously taken by surprise by this just as much as I am right now. My eyes are locked onto Eric though as I watch Four extend his hand. I'm holding my breath, not knowing what way he might go with this. It leaves me in a rush when I see him look at me briefly before taking Four's offered hand and the two giving it a very manly and brief shake before releasing quickly.

"I can't say it'll ever make us best friends, Four, but it'll damn sure make it easier not having to fight against you all the time. We got Amity to agree to things they would have never agreed to before just by presenting a united front today." Eric shrugs and turns back to the food, considering the matter done and saying all he is going to.

Four takes the hint and I can see relief in his expression. He backs up and nods. "We'll let you guys get to whatever plans you have for the night. Tris and I are at least going to head out for the party for a little while. There are apparently more people coming in from the outlying areas."

With that he gives me a pointed look, making me tense a little when I realize that means my family will be in for the event.

"Thanks for the heads up," Eric replies sincerely while his eyes never leave me.

"Have fun guys," Tris says with a smile and a wink at me as Four takes her hand and they head to their room.

When he hears the door close behind them, Eric moves over to me and turns me in the stool while moving one hand to cup the back of my neck. "You okay?"

I nod and let out a tremulous breath. "I knew it was a possibility I would run into them. I already had a run-in with the ex."

It's subtle, the jerking tension Eric has at my admission. "When did this happen and why am I just now hearing about it?"

There's a worry in his tone, even if it's curt, instead of the anger or jealousy one might expect. I wrap my arms around his waist and he pulls me close to his body.

"It was last night on the way back to the cabin. Tris was with me. I didn't tell you because I wasn't exactly in the state to tell you when you got back."

I can feel his breathing change but he strokes my back with one hand. "Was that why you were drinking?"

I shake my head against but don't move my head from his chest. "No, that happened when Tori showed up with three bottles of wine she confiscated off a few kids trying to sneak off with them."

He chuckled before pulling me back and looking at me. "So how did it go?"

I frown and raise a hand to play with the chest hair sticking up over the tank tops neckline. "Honestly?" I pause and look up at him to see that he is studying me and waiting. He gives a nod with the faintest frown at the corners of his lips.

I take a big breath and call up the encounter. "I kept waiting for some big emotion to hit me. To feel something about the fact that I was seeing the man I was intended for with his new wife and their baby on her hip."

Eric sucked in air between his teeth and this admission and his fingers curl against me, pulling me closer to him while a scowl etches on his face. "What did he say to you?" He hisses his demand.

I shrug and shake my head at the same time. "Nothing really, or nothing that I can even remember. It was all so….shallow, and I realized that our entire relationship was like that. I thought I was so in love with him back then but it wasn't until I was in Dauntless that I realized that might not have been true. That….." I take a breath and look up at him, tears in my eyes. "That scared me, Eric. That I would have given my life to a man that I didn't miss or think about when I was away from him. Even after the peace serum was in the past and I could think straight again, I worried about that. How would I be able to know what was real when I couldn't back then? When I had been so willing to give my life away like that."

Tears are rolling from my eyes without my permission and I go to angrily wipe them away only to be stopped by Eric's hands moving to either side of my face, gently using his thumbs to do the job for me. He tilts my head up and looks into my eyes.

"Do you know how to tell if it's real now?" The question is softly said but in a strained tone. His eyes wrinkling at the sides while he asks me what we have been dancing around all day.

"I didn't think about Vincente when he wasn't around. I was just as happy with him as I was without." I breathe out, my tone brittle and faint. "I didn't crave his touch or stay awake at nights thinking about him. None of that happened with him," I admit breathlessly and look into his eyes, "...but it does with you."

A smile starts to cross his face even as he pulls mine to his and our lips crash together. My arms wrap around his neck while his wrap firmly around my body and pull me against him so that my feet are the only thing touching the stool.

I don't know how long we are like that before the sound of a door closing loudly and voices moving away from the cabin bring us back around. Eric lowers me to the stool where I sit shakily and blushing. We both look around but see no one.

Eric looks back at me, one hand moving through my tangled and damp hair after releasing it from his fist. "While we're on the honesty train here," He says with a crooked grin "...it wasn't all about the investigation. I knew it was crossing a line considering how I…." He trails off and he shrugs. "I was pretty sure it was as close as I was ever going to get to know you. Knowing how you could be so strong when you went through hell during our initiation. I was angry for a long time, Devi. At anyone and everyone, even you. Sometimes, especially you, but I knew it wasn't about anything you did." He lowered his chin and looked away from me, lowering his eyes as well as his voice. "So I stayed away." He admitted before looking back at me. "But you were never ignored. I always saw you."

Emotions and tears flood me as I nod into his hands as they cup my face gently, bringing our foreheads to touch. I reach up and put my hands on the sides of his face too where we both take steadying breaths together before our lips find each others again.

Eric pulls back reluctantly as the door opens and we can hear the voices of Tori and few more Dauntless that accompanied us. He winks at me and goes back around to where our food is still waiting to be prepared and I turn to face Tori as she comes in demanding to know why I'm leaving her hanging in 'Hicksville'.

* * *

The sounds of whinnying, hooves pawing at the straw-covered ground and the occasional snort or two is accompanied by the cicadas singing into the night air. Music from the party can be heard faintly, especially when a strong breeze carries them to us, but otherwise, there is no other sound.

I feel peace and contentment as I move along the horses flank, running my hands and the brush along it. I also feel relief that this is one thing, at least, about my life before that hasn't been tainted for me.

I look up to see Eric on the other side of the horse doing the same thing but with a look of concentration mixed in with his relaxed posture and smile. It could also be that I have finally confronted my past and while there is still hurt there and will always be, I am not scared to see the bad along with all the good I was holding on to so desperately.

I think that was why Eric insisted on coming here tonight instead of hiding away in the cabin. Not just because he could never stand to watch anyone, much less someone he cares about, hide in fear and keep them from something they love so much.

It had been a risk though and I wasn't sure I would be strong enough just yet to be confronted by my family. That was one hurdle that I hadn't wanted to test myself on. It turned out I didn't have to. I don't know why she did it, maybe as a peace offering or expression of remorse, but Johanna herself had turned up close to the time when Eric and I were thinking about leaving anyway.

She had a cart pulled up and said she was in the area, dropping off some food from the festivities to a resident that wouldn't be able to attend, and thought she might check on us since she heard we wouldn't be attending.

Eric had bristled at first, probably thinking she was going to insist we go or even mention that my family was there and wouldn't it be nice to see them. Johanna never said one word about them. She asked if everything was to our liking, even complimented me on how well I looked. She seemed genuine in her happiness that she saw I am happy.

She even brought me a dessert she made herself, assuring Eric as she was placing the cast iron skillet on the counter that it was safe for anyone to eat. The dessert wasn't one that I often had. My grandmother had her own favorites that she grew up with and preferred to make. This one was apparently something that Johanna had grown up with and made for me when I would visit with her. It was still warm and the smell of the upside down berry cake hit my nose almost immediately as she entered the kitchen carrying it.

Besides assuring Eric, she also looked at me and said that her foods have always been free of peace serums. She was blunt about it, not even bothering with the flowery phrasing that would be customary of an Amity.

It was about this time that she mentioned that with everyone attending the celebrations, that the stables and paddock area were free for the evening. I had exchanged looks with Eric at her offer of giving us a ride in the cart and that way we wouldn't be slowed down by the crowds.

Eric had given me the choice by just his look and I gave him a simple nod. He accepted from Johanna with the first smile have ever seen him give someone of my old faction. Just that simple gesture seemed to communicate volumes to her, and she returned it just as meaningfully.

By cart, it hadn't taken long, and as promised we were well away from the throng of people that crowded into the gathering areas. There were a few people that we passed that were making their way to the event who called out in greeting to her but she only waved back and continued on.

Now an hour later we have slowly made our way along the stalls. Greeting and grooming along the way. I had first introduced Eric to my favorites that I found in this stable.

There are several stables all over Amity. There have to be to be able to keep up with the need for them and allow easy access. The one we are at is technically the main stable but most think of the one close to the compound as the main one. It is the place that Johanna decided to set up an official office when she was appointed an elder. Before then there were no specific places that elders could do the faction business or hold meetings.

It had honestly come as a shock on my first days in Dauntless when we had been given a tour of the compound and I found out the senior members, various officers, department heads and leaders had an entire section dedicated to them with their own offices. I had held my surprise and questions firmly in check, thankfully, but it had taken some getting used to once I was assigned the office in the clinic.

"It's well lit here," Eric remarked, breaking the silence and making me look at him over Senator, the horse we are grooming.

I look around, taking in the lighting and nod. "It looks like they have added some solar lighting but they always kept the stables as up to date as they could." I pat Senator lovingly with a smile. "Considering they are so vital to Amity, it really isn't a surprise. The faction was always willing to give on the technology rule if it was found to be beneficial to their purpose."

Eric nods and drags the brush along the flank of Senator, his lips pursed. "Johanna was always pretty vocal about that, which is why it was so frustrating when it seemed to fall on deaf ears for the others that we had to go through before we finally got to Johanna. Even then she wouldn't just come out and say yes, only that she would try her best to get the others to see the benefit of whatever was being proposed."

"Has that changed much?"

He gives a tired sigh, pulls the brush away and walks towards Senator's head then around to me. "Yeah, fortunately, the important things have improved on. It would still be better if Amity would have a leader structure like the other factions have. Even Abnegation has gone towards what the rest of us have too."

I shrug and laugh as Senator gives a vocal signal of his displeasure his grooming session is over when I back away and start to close the stall. "I guess they believe they are doing good in letting the faction have their say on matters that concern them."

Eric snorts and eyes me with disbelief in his eyes. "Sure, if more than half of those people were in their right minds, I could see the logic behind that. But that isn't the case here. Most of the faction is on something that will make them go along with anything as long as it 'keeps the peace and harmony flowing'. Which is something I have actually heard people saying during a vote I had to attend here recently."

Eric is getting agitated, honestly, I can't blame him for it, but that is not what I want right now. I am hoping to get this man on a horse with me and he won't if he turns back into stick up his ass, superior asshole Eric.

"We are never going to get rid of the serum here, Eric. After going to the Tranquility center and seeing things for myself, it might be dangerous for people like them to be taken off it completely. As much as I hate to admit it, some of the cases I can see it might be better for them to be given something that can help them to be calm and ease some of their pain."

I loop my arm through his and pull him along, making my way to one of the horses I know well and know is a gentle soul despite being one of the bigger horses I ever worked with.

As we get closer to Bonny's stall I see Eric looking at her curiously. "I've noticed that not all the horses around amity are the same. Are they different breeds or something?"

I nod with a pleased smile, feeling good he is allowing me to indulge in my love for these beauties. "Yes. Most of the working horses, like Bonny here," I say as I reach out and let her greet me then allows me to run my hand down her forehead and stopping before I reach her muzzle, "...she's the most common breed we have, one called a Clydesdale. They are stockier and some of the tallest among the bunches. They are best used for pulling carts or the tills we have to use in some of the fields. The others are mixed breeds from lines that died out mostly before the city was founded. It was said that a few of them were brought back by Erudite but they have combined with other breeds now and it is hard to tell which is which. The smaller or sleeker ones are the best for lighter work of for riders. They are faster too but can also be harder to handle. They all have their personalities, but those are the ones that always have the excitable temperaments."

"Good to know," Eric mutters and mimic's my petting of Bonny. She leans into his touch eagerly, making him smile and cluck at her. "She is beautiful."

I nod and smile. "She's my favorite. She's older and not used as much for the harder work but the thing she was best at," I pause and look at him as I show him what I had been silently gathering while he was absorbed in petting her. "Is being used for riders that haven't had much or any experience with riding."

Eric turns and looks at me then down at my hands and scoffs. "You must have inhaled that serum if you fucking think you are getting me on any animal, no matter how much you try and trick me into thinking it'll be fine."

I raise an eyebrow and step forward and teasing smile on my lips. "Now, that can't be right. Eric Coulter is all but admitting to me he is…." I pause and look him up and down, "...Dauntless enough to best an animal? Have you no pride? What would the faction think if…"

He takes quick steps towards me with a dangerous gleam in them. Just his look alone stops me in my tracks and cuts the words off in mid-sentence. I back up until my back hits the wooden wall of the little room where the tack is stored and gulp as he crowds me. He just stands there with our bodies brushing up against each other and my hands hanging lightly to my sides, equipment is forgotten and in danger of hitting the dirt.

I swear I can feel my heart in my throat the entire time and I might have stopped breathing as well.

I don't know what Eric is thinking but the look in his eyes change and become calculating. He looks down at my hands then reaches for what I hold, taking it into his own and studying it.

"How about we make a little trade, little one?" He suggests in a gravelly purr.

"A...a trade?" I ask more than a little befuddled.

He smirks and looks back at me. "Just a small one."

My mind starts working again as I narrow my eyes at him. "And just what would this trade be for?"

He shrugs casually and raises on hand to trail fingers along the side of my exposed neck and over my arms that aren't covered by the tank top I am wearing. "Me riding Bonny over there."

I look over to Bonny and tilt my head before looking back. "By yourself?"

He pauses while tensing a little before he smiles as if he never reacted at all to the suggestion and nods. "Sure, if that's the way you want it."

"So you want to trade riding Bonny by yourself in exchange for what?."

The smile melts away to be replaced by something I can only describe as a look of hunger, desperate hunger that makes my knees go weak and feeling grateful that he is now pressing against me so tightly that he becomes the only thing holding me up.

"That we do this for real, Devi. Really and officially. You and me." The words are rushed and hoarse, accompanied by him getting impossibly closer, his breathing rough and pressing his forehead against mine.

I gasp and reach out to him, gripping his forearms tightly and try to steady myself. I close my eyes and feel like shaking my head to clear it. I must be silent for so long that Eric can't take it because he nudges my head with his to raise my eyes to his, still not letting his hands go from where they have me gripped at my lower back.

"You're killing me here, Devi."

One look into his blue eyes and seeing the uncertainty and fear knocks the sense back into me. Not enough to form words right away but enough to let him know in some way as I nod slowly at first and then a bit more eagerly as a smile forms on my face. "Yes!"

"Yeah?"

I lose it for a moment at the surprise etched all over his face and in his tone and start laughing before I raise up the short distance to kiss him soundly.

"Sí, Eric. Seré tu novia." I reply after pulling away from the kids enough to get the words out but am immediately pulled back by him for another one.

When he once again lets me free I let go of the death grip I had one his arms and reach up to frame his face before looking deeply into his eyes.

"I didn't believe I could love again, but I always believed in you, even from the start. Tú y yo, Eric," His smile is his answer as he lets the tack drop to the ground and lifts me up, my legs going around his waist and arms circling his neck.

"We'll get to Bonny eventually." He murmurs against my mouth as I half-heartedly protest.

Eric doesn't give me back the same words I gave him but I didn't expect him to. What he gives me is himself, honestly and freely.

Over and over again. And later, much later, with the moon low on the horizon, he gives me the opportunity to share in the last love I have for Amity. We ride Bonny together, with me in front of him guiding our way back to the cabin and watching the dawn start to melt away the night.

Three years ago I left Amity, not knowing what I would find but willing to let it all go to find my own place. I had never dared to think that my life would turn out as it has. That I would face heartache and betrayal from those I had once loved. Or that I would find love again with someone that was as wounded as I had been in his own way.

I hadn't known for sure what I would find, but I always believed it would be where I was meant to be.

Now I know who I am meant to be with.

 _Belief_

 _Makes things real_

 _Makes things feel_

 _Feel alright_

 _Belief_

 _Makes things true_

 _Things like you_

 _You and I_

* * *

 **A/N: We have reached the end of Devi and Eric's story...or have we? Stay tuned as Eric's POV is in the works.**

 **I would just like to add a big thank you for everyone that stuck around for this journey. I know it has been a long one with many gaps between chapters. Thank you, everyone, for your patience and love. It has been truly appreciated.**

 **Special notes to: nikixnicole for the inspiration for Devi and making her the feisty, fiery woman she is and DYK for sticking by me as always. Being my sounding board and lighthouse. Love to you both!**


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